Creed
by ShawThang
Summary: COMPLETE.. Epilogue finally up! The portal didn’t kill her, but it changed her. How will Buffy cope with being an ordinary human? By calling upon the only one who knows the meaning of being the Slayer...
1. 1

**Title-** Creed 

**Summary-** The portal didn't kill her, but it left her incomplete, empty, alone... How will Buffy cope with being an ordinary human? By calling upon the only one who knows the meaning of being the Slayer...

**Setting-** Begins in the Gift in Season Five, and continues through an alternate Season Six. 

**Spoilers- **Anything during and beforeSeason 5.

**Disclaimer-** Nope not mine, I ain't that good!

**Pairing-** Pffft, as if you haven't figured it out yet. And if you haven't, well, go read and find out!

**Author's Note: **Yes, another fic. This one will be about 18 chapters, and is definitely new territory for me. I could not have done it without my beautiful and amazingly talented beta, Rylee, who whipped this story into shape. So if you read it, like it and have something to say, let me know by dropping me a review. And onto the story…****

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 1**

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Death was calling to her, singing a song of rest and happiness. There would be no more pain or doubt or guilt. There would be nothing...nothing but the eternal rest that was heaven. Death's hands emerged from the swirling energy, and wrapped its fingers around her tired body. They pulled her, drew her towards it, and she welcomed it.

But she couldn't go yet...no, not yet. There was something that wouldn't let her go, that clutched at her and held her to this weary life. What was it? She turned her head and saw what it was. Dawn. God, Dawn...how could she leave her? But she needed to; she needed to die so her sister could live. So her sister could live a normal life and grow old with a husband, two point five kids and a white picket fence.

She had to jump. She wanted to jump. God, she needed to jump. But first she needed to release her sister and her friends- no, family- from her. She needed them to understand. She gazed at the lightening horizon as the blazing sun began its ascent into the sky. Then she turned to her sister and showed her the peace that had taken a hold of her.

"Buffy...no!" her sister cried, as she recognized what those green eyes told her.

"Dawnie, I have to," she whispered softly.

"No!"

"Listen to me. Please, there's not a lot of time, listen," she gripped Dawn's arms, "Dawn, listen to me. I've always known this day would come. You knew; Giles knew…they all knew. This is my job, my life…my fate. I was born to save this world, and I'm going to save it. I'm going to save it so I can save the people I love. And that's you, Dawnie. I love you."

"But I can stop it!"

"You won't have to," Buffy murmured. "I'm giving you the chance to live on. You're stronger than me, Dawn. Live. For me."

Dawn listened in numb horror, frozen in her sister's hold. Then Buffy kissed her younger sister, and gazed into her eyes one  last time.

She turned from Dawn and ran towards the rising of the sun. Peace would come at last, and she could finally rest from this world of unfair living. With the grace and courage that only Buffy Summers could possess, the Slayer dived into the growing swirl of energy.

Pain! God, the pain! It ripped through her, filling every molecule of her body and tearing her apart. It surged into the very core of her being and screamed the shout of agony. It sliced; it burned; it ripped; it twisted; it stabbed; it wrenched. It hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. And then it stopped. There was nothing but...nothing. She succumbed to the darkness of oblivion.

~~~

Her friends gathered sorrowfully around her fallen body. Xander stared at his best friend, lying broken on her back, then down at his injured fiancée. He had lost his best friend and nearly lost the woman he loved this night. He saw Buffy's broken body, and his mind flashed back to the night he found her like this in the Master's lair. She had been younger then, more innocent and naïve. But her white, flowing dress and her blonde hair splattered with water had made her seem like something out of a fairytale. She had looked like a princess out of a myth, the innocent virgin sacrificed to the Gods, and he had never been so scared in his life. Until this moment. Because this time, she looked normal. She looked like Buffy, and this time, there was nothing he could do about it. 

Willow held the hand of her girlfriend, tears pouring down her face as she looked at her best friend. Buffy deserved so much more than this. She felt the anger kindle within herself, an indescribable power that surged through her. The magic screamed to be released... And then it was gone, and all that was left was grief. Buffy had been her best friend. Buffy had arrived at Sunnydale High and changed her life forever. She had come and pulled the real Willow from within the shy, meek shell. Buffy had made Willow the woman she was today. What would she do without Buffy? A hand squeezed hers in an offer of comfort and solace. Glancing at their joined hands, Willow lifted her head to gaze into the eyes of Tara. Her girlfriend would always be there for her; her girlfriend would be strong for her. Willow felt the walls of control start to slip, and she broke down, sobbing into the arms of her sorrowful girlfriend.

Giles saw his Slayer's body, but his mind refused to accept reality. No, Buffy was strong and she couldn't die... But his mind refused to rationalize, and as the finality of it began to sink in, he felt tears slide down his cheeks. His charge, his daughter, the girl who had been the center of his life for so long, was gone. He couldn't rationalize this, because Buffy was gone. He had known this moment would come. All his training had prepared him for this moment, when he would find himself Slayerless, and another Slayer would be called and another Watcher would perform his duties. But none of the training covered what it felt like. None of the training told him how it would wrench his heart from his chest and leave him feeling…empty. None of the training told him that when his Slayer died, so too would a part of him. And he cried.

Dawn tread numbly down the stairs and saw the others gathered around her sister's body. Buffy had died for her. For _her._It was her fault, all her fault. If she didn't exist, Buffy would be alive. Fresh tears fell from her eyes, and the vision of her sister's form was lost in a haze as her eyes blurred. Her fault...

_"You're stronger than me, Dawnie." _

_But I'm not! _She wanted to scream. _Buffy, come back. I can't live if you're not here! _But she didn't scream. Nor did she move or make any noise. She couldn't. 

Spike hobbled over to the people he had fought alongside. The pain racking his body was agony, but it didn't matter. He hadn't managed to protect Dawn like he had promised. He had failed. It was his fault. Buffy was right; he was nothing but a worthless demon unable to do anything. He was useless. A stab of pain shot through his leg and he was about to groan when he saw the girl's broken body. Suddenly, the pain was gone. There was no pain anymore. There was nothing, because Buffy was dead. No rushing blood or soft breathing. She was…

It was so faint that he nearly missed it. It was hers. There was no mistaking it; he could hear her heartbeat a hundred meters away. Just like he could always sense her when she was near. 

She was alive.

He rushed to her side, ignoring the wounds that lacerated his body. He was already dead; the injuries didn't matter. But Buffy was alive, and she wouldn't be for long if she didn't get help soon. 

"Stop bloody standing there! She's alive damn it, alive!" he barked.

His yell echoed through the building site and shocked the people surrounding him. Giles'wide eyes would have been comical if it weren't for the dire situation they were in. Immediately passing Anya's unconscious body to the two shocked Witches, Xander hurried to Spike's side, the enmity between them temporarily forgotten. All emotions and thoughts were focused on one girl. 

"She ain't breathing, Harris. I can't give her air..." Spike murmured.

"I can," Xander replied grimly, moving to kneel beside her head. 

Without a moment's hesitation, Xander pinched Buffy's nose and breathed deeply into her mouth. He came up for air and breathed into Buffy's mouth again, and just as Spike was beginning to lose hope there was a soft gasp, then a steady, if not hushed, sound of breathing. 

"Stop, Harris," Spike said, unable to keep the relief and joy from his voice. "She's breathing. We need to get her to the hospital."

Xander was on his feet in a second, sprinting to a nearby van. Giles stayed on the spot where he first saw her body, allowing the relief and happiness flow through his mind and body. The Wiccans held Anya in their arms, and Willow was still crying. This time Tara joined her, and they were tears of happiness. Spike looked up and his eyes locked on Dawn's.

He could see the horror in her eyes, and realized that she was too scared to allow herself to believe that her sister was alive. 

"Dawn," he called softly. "She's okay, Bit, she's okay."

Dawn shook her head, "N-no, she's dead. She's…"

Spike stood up and walked over to where the terrified girl stood. 

"No, Nibblet, she's alive."

**~~~**

"...hardest thing..."

"...to live in it."

Sky reddening...sun rising...clouds clearing...peace...

Blue swirling...free falling...hands grabbing...energy pulling...

Pains searing...bones cracking...muscles tearing...skin burning...

Singing...death is singing...calling to her...death has come...

Buffy's eyes shot opened and she jerked upright. She gasped for air, glancing frantically from side to side. Was this heaven? No, it couldn't be; there was pain. There was no pain in heaven, so why was it hurting? 

Breathing raggedly, she drank in her surroundings. It hit her with full force, and her breath stuck in her throat, causing her to gag. Hospital, she was in a hospital. She was not dead, but alive. She was alive...

The truth smashed into her like she'd hit a brick wall. She wasn't going to rest. She was still alive, and she was going to live on, and on, and on. And when, if, she finally did die, she would be nothing but a bitter, exhausted, lonely old shell of a woman, clinging to what little sanity this life had left her. But, until then, there would be no escape, no way out. She was alive and she would stay that way. She had grazed it with her fingertips, but death had evaded her once more. 

She screamed.

~~~

"Giles, is she all right?" Willow asked anxiously, fidgeting on the plastic seat beside her girlfriend. Tara gripped her hand tightly, and Willow could feel the comfort that traveled through her fingertips.

"She's ah...not good," Giles mumbled, removing his glasses and wiping them, "The doctors say that she is...critical, but she will be fine."

Xander resumed his pacing, then, as if on second thought, decided to visit Anya instead and disappeared through the swinging doors. Willow rested her head on Tara's shoulder, and the blonde stroked her girlfriend's hair absent-mindedly. Giles slumped into the seat beside them, glancing at his watch and noticing that they had spent more than twelve hours at the hospital. Dawn sat rigidly in her seat, staring at the door her sister had been taken through. Spike was hunched in the corner, trying to avoid the dangerous rays of sunlight that forced their way through the slits between the blinds.

Everyone was weary, sore and stiff from their long night, but not one of them dared to suggest leaving the hospital without Buffy. They knew that wild horses couldn't drag Dawn or Spike from her side, or waiting room, and Xander refused outright to leave without his fiancée.

Giles glanced at his watch again and sighed. Buffy wouldn't wake until the drugs wore off, which, according to the doctor that performed the surgery, would be another few hours. He settled down to get as comfortable as the hard seats would allow, and prepared to wait.

A sharp scream echoed down the hall. Nurses jumped in fright and hurried to the source, obviously hoping to sedate the poor patient. Giles gave them only a quick glance before returning to flicking through a home improvement magazine. 

But Dawn froze when the scream reached her ears. She knew that scream; it was familiar and she had heard it before.

"Buffy," she breathed as she jumped from her seat and dashed down the corridor. Giles heard her whisper and was right behind her in a second. Willow went to go after them but Tara gently grabbed her arm and the redhead understood. Buffy didn't need to be crowded, and her sister and father figure would be more than enough to face after her near death.

Dawn burst through the door to her sister's room and searched it desperately for Buffy. Seeing the circle of nurses surrounding one of the beds, Dawn moved forward and pushed her way through. She saw Buffy strain against their hold and shrink away from the needle they were attempting to inject her with. 

"No!" Dawn cried, "She hates needles, let her go!" She ignored the shocked nurses and grabbed the needle from the doctor, throwing it to the ground. Dawn caught her sister's wrist and raised her hand to Buffy's cheek. "Buffy, shhh, it's okay. It's me, Dawn."

Buffy stopped struggling and gazed into her sister's eyes, "Dawnie? You're okay?"

Dawn swallowed a scream of frustration and anger. Buffy was the one who was hurt and yet she was asking Dawn if she was okay. She hated how her sister was a hero, always protecting and caring for others before herself. 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine Buffy. _You're _fine," she whispered back. 

"I-I know," Buffy replied, lying weakly into the bed.

"We did it, Buffy." Giles murmured, too low for the scowling interns to hear, "We won."

Buffy managed a small smile and closed her eyes, "We always do," she whispered.

But it didn't feel like they had won. Buffy felt...wrong, like she had lost something. She felt different, as though there was a great, black gaping hole in her core. There was only...nothing. The spark she always felt was gone. The strength and the adrenaline had disappeared, leaving her empty and weak. She had never felt this helpless before, and it made her feel...wrong.

She waited until the nurses and Giles had gone, and until she heard Dawn's soft breathing before opening her eyes. Dawn's head rested beside her shoulder and her fingers were intertwined with Buffy's. Buffy tried to lift her hand to stroke her sister's grimy hair, and found that it was too heavy to rise. Her whole body felt weighed down and detached, leaving her unable to move. 

What was wrong with her?

~~~

"Buffy, do you want to lean on me?" Giles asked, worriedly, hovering at her side as she hobbled through the hospital doors.

"No," she replied flatly.

"Do you want me to bring the car around here?" asked Xander, standing right on her heel, ready to catch her should she fall. Anya limped beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder for support.

"No,"

"Do you want me to-" Giles began.

"NO!" she said firmly between clenched teeth, keeping her eyes trained on her feet.

The group exchanged looks and Buffy ignored it. They didn't understand, and they probably never would. How could they know she had accepted death? How could they understand she had been ready to rest? They wouldn't, she knew that, but she wouldn't allow them to know. Dawn gave her hand a squeeze, and Buffy gave her a tight smile. Her sister didn't say anything and she was grateful. She didn't think she could handle any questions at the moment. 

They walked through the parking lot behind the hospital in silence. It had been four days since they had defeated Glory and night had fallen. Buffy had been discharged after heavy persistence on her part, with strict instructions to stay in bed and rest. Amazingly, Buffy had escaped her ordeal with only four cracked ribs, a punctured lung and multiple burns to her body. Not to mention the minor cuts and bruises that covered her body. She managed to stay on her feet, wincing at the sharp pain that sliced through her lung every few minutes, and ignoring the burning in her throat caused by her ragged breathing. 

They were only a few feet from the van Xander had taken from the site when four vampires slid from the shadows. Buffy looked up in horror as they surrounded the group, terrified beyond belief. Spike, Xander and Giles immediately jumped into action, grabbing the stakes from their jackets and challenging the vampires. Anya stood back with Dawn. Willow nodded at Tara and the two of them joined hands, summoning the ball of fire they had been practicing. Within minutes the fight was over.

Suddenly, a hand snaked out from behind Buffy and grabbed Dawn's neck. Buffy, ignoring the pain, seized the arm and pulled it away from her sister. The fifth vampire laughed and with a lazy swing, sent her crashing to the ground. Buffy was on her feet a second later and threw a punch at its head. He ducked it easily and backhanded her, propelling her into a nearby car. She fell to the ground heavily and glanced up in time to see Spike stake the surprised vampire from behind. 

Dawn, shaken from the unexpected attack, stared at Buffy in horror. Willow and Tara clutched her arms and raised her to her feet, but Buffy stared transfixed at the pile of dust on the tarmac. Spike gazed at Buffy curiously. He could sense something different about her, and it worried him. He didn't feel the connection between them, the familiar tickle he felt when she was near. There was nothing.

"No," Buffy whispered, shaking her head slowly. She caught Spike's eye desperately, seeking answers, but he couldn't hide what he had discovered. She saw the answer plainly in his eyes and crumbled to the ground. Hugging her knees to her chin, Buffy felt tears burn the side of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, kneeling beside her. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"I don't soddin' believe it," Spike muttered, anger flaring in his voice.

Giles grabbed Spike by his jacket and shook him, "What the hell is wrong with her?" 

"I-I..." he stumbled, caught unaware by Giles' fury. "Let me down and-and I'll tell 'ya."

Giles released him, but stood menacingly over him, and Spike had enough sense not to infuriate him.

"Well?" Willow questioned, shooting worried glances at her blonde friend.

Spike glanced from each face, knowing that shock would soon replace their expectant faces.

"Buffy didn't heal fast. She didn't sense the vampires. She wasn't able to fight them. She's..." he faltered, but then continued, "The Slayer ain't a Slayer anymore."

**~~~**

**To Be Continued…**

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	2. 2

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 2**

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Buffy gazed at the face in front of her. It was thin, but not gaunt, and had defined cheekbones, a small, hooked nose, thin, pale lips and round, empty, green eyes. When had the reflection in the mirror become so…lacking?

She turned from the mirror abruptly, and away from her reflection. Hobbling to her closet, Buffy tugged it open and dropped to her knees. Searching through the shoes and junk that lined her closet floor, she found the small wooden box she had pushed to the back. It had been a tenth birthday present from Dawn, and it had come with a key that she had hung on a silver chain. She grabbed the chain from her desk and unlocked the box.

Lifting the lid, she bit her lip nervously before extracting the notebooks- her Slayer journals. Every unusual demon or vampire had been listed in these journals, including her adventures with her friends, her relationship with Angel, the bizarre incidents and her feelings after every averted apocalypse. Within these journals lay her life. She flicked through them, forcing back the waves of memories that threatened to rise. The Master, her death, Angelus, the Mayor's ascension, Adam, Riley and...Glory. She slammed the journal shut before she could read on. She did not want to read about Glory or her discovery of Dawn's origins. It wouldn't do anything except remind her of things she didn't want to remember.

Who did she think she was kidding? Reading her journals wouldn't fill the hole that had taken up home in her. Nothing would, and the reality finally came crashing down on her, crushing her beneath its unrelenting weight.

She was not the Slayer anymore. She had fought the swell of darkness for nearly six years without any relief from the pain and grief that came with it. She had finally been offered an escape, a way out, and she had accepted it. Only to have it ripped away from her when her gift had been refused. As though her death wasn't an adequate sacrifice. But now that the chance had been taken from her, the desire to lay down her weapons had been taken with it. The call to pick them up again was stronger, and there was nothing she could do.

But she had embraced the realization that she was alive in the hospital, and it was not the prospect of living that tormented her. It was the fact that she would live on, but she would live on as someone who was not the Slayer. She had always had doubts about who she was. Especially after graduation, when Angel had left and she had embarked on a new stage of her life. But she had still been somebody, because she had been the Slayer. But now...now, she was nobody.

Gathering the journals in her arms, Buffy hastened from her room in a numb trance. She descended the stairs and ignored her sister and Watcher's curious questions. Storming into the living room, Buffy dumped her load into the fireplace, struck a match and threw it on top of them.

She stood vigilantly as the journals caught fire, and watched as the flames devoured them. She was vaguely aware of her friends behind her but she did not heed them.

"Buffy," Giles said gently. "You didn't have to..."

"Yes, I did," Buffy returned coldly. "I don't need them anymore."

"But Buff," Xander exclaimed. "You've written everything from the last few years in those journals. They're like photos, once you burn them it's as though the past-"

"Didn't exist," she finished, and her friends finally realized why she had burnt them.

Giles removed his glasses and wiped them. "Well, I suppose this will give you what you have always wanted."

"Yeah," Willow added, "You can have a normal life with no more slay girl."

Buffy felt like a sharp knife had slid into her heart, but she kept a rigid stance.

"Now you can find a husband, make some money and have kids," Anya added eagerly.

Her mind was screaming for them to understand that she would never be normal. It occurred to her then, that she had been doing what she hated them for suggesting. God, what was she doing? She had destroyed the only records of her life and in the process, lost the only documents of what she had done for this ungrateful world. And yet here she was, completely contradicting herself by being angry at _them _for suggesting she have a normal life. Wasn't that why she had thrown her journals in the fire in the first place?

This wasn't what she wanted. How many times had she complained and moaned about wanting a normal life? She had always known it would never be possible, so moaning about it was just a tactic she used to annoy Giles.

Now that it had actually happened, now that she wasn't the Slayer, it felt like her life was on hiatus. Like there was a part of her missing. She knew exactly what was missing, and how it had been taken. Sometimes she had flashbacks to the scant moments spent in the portal. Buffy remembered the dream she had had before waking in the hospital. She remembered the sensation of her core being scraped bare; as though the Slayer had been the center of her person all along.

The first Slayer had said death was her gift and now she understood it. Death wasn't her gift; it was the Slayer's gift. The Slayer had sacrificed herself on the tower that night, not Buffy. And the Slayer's death had saved her sister, and also herself, from death.

The Slayer had been the essence of her for so long. How could she cope without it?

Buffy waited until the fire diminished, then turned on her heel and strode past her dispirited friends. She left the house in an utter daze. A thick cloud seemed to cloak her mind and she walked without direction. There was nothing to think of; a nobody thinking of nothing. It made sense...didn't it? But nothing made sense to Buffy anymore. The world didn't make sense; was it even still spinning?

Who was she if not the Slayer? Sure, she was Buffy, but who was Buffy if not the Slayer? She wasn't intellectually smart, but her street smarts had kept her alive on more than one occasion. She wasn't a quick learner, mainly because slaying came naturally. She wasn't talented, but she was skilled in fighting. She wasn't good at anything- except slaying.

Despite years of wishing for a normal life, Buffy had never been normal. She had complained, moaned and whined about it and now that it had happened, she was lost. It was only now, walking alone down a remote street, unprotected against the evil that lurked in the dark, that Buffy understood that the Slayer had always been a part of her. No matter how much she had tried to deny it, it had always been inside her. And now that it wasn't...

Buffy raised her head and noticed that she had unconsciously walked into a cemetery. This had to stop, she realized. She was in danger and had nothing to protect herself with. And no sixth sense to warm her of impending danger. All she had was herself, her human senses, and knowledge of how the lurking evil ticks. She glanced nervously over her shoulder, and got the shock of her life when she took a step forward and bumped into a smirking vampire. Gasping, she tried to pull away, only to find herself helpless in his grip. She closed her eyes as he lowered his gleaming fangs to her neck and she waited for the inevitable pain to shoot through her neck...

But it didn't come. When she opened her eyes again she saw the scattering dust and found herself looking into two deep, brown pools.

"Angel," she breathed.

"Buffy," he replied, and she remembered how she loved to hear him say her name. It made her feel safe and untroubled and made the rest of the world melt away. But it didn't melt away, because she had been thrust from the darkness and into the real world.

She allowed him to wrap his arms around her slim body and indulged in the brief comfort it offered. "What are you doing here?" she asked once he released her.

"I heard," he replied, "about Glory and Dawn. Willow called and told me...told me about what happened."

She avoided his intense stare and began walking away towards the entrance of the cemetery. "Did she? Then you'd know about me not being a Slayer anymore."

"She told me," he responded. "What I'd like to know is why you're in a cemetery when you're still weak from the fall."

"Habit," she answered. She felt his eyes on her but didn't stop.

"Buffy," he said. "Stop. Talk to me."

She sighed and turned to face him. "About what? There's nothing to tell. Killed a god, jumped off a construction site, saved the world, not a Slayer anymore. End of story."

Angel's face remained impassive, but he rested on top of a head stone. "I don't think it is. What are you feeling, Buffy? I couldn't stand it when Willow told me, and it didn't even happen to me. What are you thinking?"

Buffy gave a bitter laugh and sat opposite him. "Feeling? Thinking? You want an answer? The answer is nothing. Nothing, Angel."

Angel remained silent and Buffy continued. "I was going to die, Angel. I accepted it; hell, I _wanted _it. But then I woke up...and I got over it. I still had Dawn and my friends, so basically things were the same as before." She wrapped her arms around herself and went on, "But then I found out that I wasn't the Slayer anymore. The portal...it was meant to kill me. It was meant to take my blood and soul, but the Slayer fought back, and it took that instead. It scraped the Slayer out of me, Angel, out of my core."

Angel's mind was spinning at what she was telling him. She had wanted to die? That wasn't the Buffy he had loved, did love; she would never have given up willingly. And now she wasn't the Slayer anymore...

"Buffy, you can have the life you've always wanted. You can be normal..."

"I'll never be normal, Angel," she interrupted. "I will always have the memories, the feelings, the thoughts. I found out that despite hating it, it was part of who I was. I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and now... who am I?"

"Buffy," he answered without a moment's hesitation. She shook her head in frustration.

"You don't get it, do you?" she muttered. "Buffy IS the Slayer. The Slayer is Buffy. With one gone, I'm half a person. A nobody. And no one will ever understand that, because no one knows what it's like to have the strength and clarity of the Slayer and be stripped of the power. No one knows what it's like..." she trailed off as the frustration and grief became too much. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and it was only her will power that caught the sobs in her throat.

Angel knelt in front of her and picked up her hand in his own, "Yes, they do."

Buffy gazed into his eyes, "Who Angel, who could possible know..."

He interrupted her by placing his fingers over her lips. "There is someone, Buffy, who knows. Someone who knows what it's like to be the Slayer..."

Buffy's eyes widened as realization dawned on her features, and she whispered:

"Faith."

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**To Be Continued...**

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	3. 3

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 3**

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Buffy paced nervously in the small, oppressed room, unable to remain still. This would be the first time she would come face to face with the brunette Slayer since she had last come to L.A. after hearing of the girl's attempt on Angel's life. They hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms, and Buffy wasn't sure how the other girl would react.

She wondered why she wasn't angry at Faith anymore. The betrayal had hurt so much more than she had let on, and every time her friends had mentioned the brunette- usually followed by an obscene insult- it felt like she had slipped the knife into her own stomach. She couldn't explain it. Faith had turned against her, breaking the trust between the two Slayers. She had aided Buffy's enemies, attempted murder of her boyfriend and stole her body and life, but Buffy couldn't bring herself to hate the girl. Buffy knew how easy it was to succumb to the darkness, and Faith had slipped because Buffy hadn't understood her. If only…

Shaking herself from her musings, Buffy rested against the white, sterile wall and dropped her head. How Faith could stay sane in this confinement was beyond her. She had only been within the high walls and impending gates for a few minutes, and she was nearly overcome with claustrophobia. She raised her head when she heard the jingling of keys and the telltale click of a door being unlocked. She slid into the seat behind the thick glass and watched pensively as the door swung open. A bored-looking guard walked into the room and Buffy drew in a sharp breath when the dark-haired Slayer followed him. Donning an orange jumpsuit and bound with handcuffs, Faith strolled nonchalantly into the small room.

As their eyes met, Buffy felt the familiar rush of adrenaline she had always felt around the other Slayer. She savoured the rich sensation thrashing through her blood, knowing that as soon as she left the other girl's presence, it would disappear.

Faith glanced wearily at her visitor, wondering idly if the Council had finally come to call another Slayer. But when her eyes met with a set of familiar green eyes that were imprinted in the back of her mind, all previous thoughts fled and were replaced by one word. Buffy.

She was here. Only a few feet away and separated by nothing but a pane of glass that she could break with one swift kick. She was right in front of her. Buffy, she was here...but she wasn't. Faith nearly gasped at the realization. There was something wrong about her, something missing from the fiery, determined Slayer she had once known. It was as if she was…dead.

"B," she murmured, desperately trying to cover how shaken she was.

"Faith," Buffy replied, noticing the tremors that racked the brunette's body. She hadn't thought the girl would be shaken to see her. Hell, she hadn't even thought Faith would care. But obviously she had once more misjudged her.

The guard shut the door behind him, but neither girl noticed. Their gaze hadn't wavered since they first laid eyes on each other. The intensity of the stare would have caused anyone to look away uncomfortably, but the two did not even flinch.

Faith opted for the indifferent approach, and picked up the blue phone. She waited for Buffy to do the same, and neutralizing her voice, said, "How'd you get here? Last I knew you were s failing the driver's test."

"Angel drove me," she answered, surprised when she didn't get the usual rise from the brunette, who only shrugged in reply.

"So what brings you all the way to cast-off central?"

"You," Buffy answered shortly.

"No shit, B," she snorted. "But something must be wrong in your perfect little life if you've resorted to visiting me."

She shrugged, "A lot has happened."

Faith stared at the blonde. "Getting you down?"

"Not so much down as out," she said. "Apparently, I'm not a Slayer anymore."

Faith felt her blood run cold. That was what she had felt a few days ago. She had awoken from a forgotten dream in a cold sweat, her instinct screaming that something was wrong. She hadn't been able to sleep again that night, too agitated to lie still, and had spent a good half of the night pacing in her cell.

Buffy waited apprehensively for Faith's reaction. She thought she saw something flicker through the brunette's eyes, but it was gone a moment later and she wasn't sure if she had imagined it.

"That's gotta burn, huh?" Faith murmured slowly.

Buffy nodded and glanced about the room, looking anywhere but at the girl opposite her. Saying it aloud had made it suddenly real, as though she had only thought it to be a dream the past few days. But now, when the words had come out of her mouth, everything was real. She was no longer the Slayer. Choking back a sudden urge to retch, Buffy gazed at her folded hands resting on her lap. She could feel Faith's eyes boring into her but she didn't return the look. The silence became stifling and Buffy spoke without thinking.

"Giles and the others want me to have a normal life," she said, "You know, husband, kids, and a white picket fence. And I wanted to have one. Always have." Her voice softened to a whisper. "I-I don't know where to start," she confessed. "It's like now I'm...I'm in the real world. I can get a job, care for Dawn and maybe go back to school. They want me to live in the day, instead of the night. God...what do I do?"

"B," Faith said abruptly, causing her to start.

"Yeah?"

"You'll never do that," she said frankly, as though it was the obvious thing to say.

Buffy stared at the girl opposite her, "What do you mean? Never do what?"

Faith rolled her eyes and shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "Never live in the day. You belong in the night, like I do. You've been the Slayer for what, five, six years?"

"Faith," she exclaimed, "I'm _not _the Slayer, not anymore anyway."

"God damn it, Buffy," Faith snapped, slamming her fist onto the bench in front of her. "You think them taking away your strength takes away who you are? The Slayer is a freakin' part of you. Nothing and no one can take it. What about your training? You still have the moves, still got the crafty plans and quick thinking."

Buffy clutched the phone to her ear. "It's not the same, Faith. I'm not the same. I can't see at night, I can't sense evil, and I can't even lift my weapons!"

"How do you think your little friends have managed over the years?" she replied coldly.

"I don-I don't know," she said quietly. The room fell silent, both occupants contemplating the current situation.

"Look B..."

"Look Faith..."

The both spoke simultaneously, a sly grin forming on the brunette's lips while the blonde blushed. Faith waved her hand, indicating to Buffy that she should speak first, but as she opened her mouth the door was flung pen and the guard returned.

"Time's up," he declared gruffly.

"Wait a minute, mate," Faith muttered before leaning close to the glass. "You glad it's over?"

Buffy stared straight into her eyes and said the first thing that came to her mind. "No,"

"Then it's not," Faith replied firmly, and before Buffy could reply Faith was escorted from the room, leaving her alone and staring at an empty chair.

****

Buffy scrunched her blonde hair with the rough towel, attempting to dry the saturated locks. Once she was satisfied that it wouldn't leave a trail of water on the carpet, she left the bathroom of the small motel room and changed into a pair of jeans and plan white top. She dropped onto her bed and pressed the remote, turning the television on. Mindlessly flipping through the channels, she glanced out the window at the moonlit night. When the aching sensation filled her stomach, she dropped her head into the soft mattress. She didn't want to think about the creatures that would be hunting, knowing only too well that she couldn't do anything to help their unsuspecting victims.

A knock sounded on her door and her head shot up in surprise. Who would be knocking on her door in the middle of the night? Curiously, but suspiciously, she stepped up to the door and opened it. A heavy figure fell unconsciously into her arms and Buffy glanced down in shock.

"My God… Faith."

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**To Be Continued…**

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	4. 4

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**_Thanks for all the amazing reviews! Keep them coming. And a big shout out to my beta Rylee, who is an avid Buffy/Spike 'shipper but goes through hell to beta this story anyway. And on to the story..._**

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 4**

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"My God," Buffy whispered in horror, struggling to stay upright under the unconscious girl's weight. She dropped to her knees and laid the brunette's prone body on the floor. With a quick examination of Faith's injuries, Buffy discovered a deep gash in her abdomen where blood was streaming profusely.

Cursing loudly she ran to the mirror in the bathroom and opened it, extracting the first aid kit. She hurried back to Faith's side and rummaged through the box, pulling out a tube of ointment and gauze. Attempting to staunch the flow of blood with her hand, she tore the bandage with her teeth and wrapped it over the wound. Quickly attending to Faith's cuts and bruises, Buffy's fears began to abate as Faith's enhanced healing began to take over.

Gingerly running her hands over Faith's body she checked for any broken bones. As her hand passed over a rather large and bruised bump in the Slayer's shoulder, Buffy winced. She knew that a dislocated collarbone was not a nice experience, and silently apologised for what she was about to do. She held Faith's arm tightly in her grasp. With one sharp pull, the bone popped back into place, and she knew Faith's shoulder would be extremely sore for the next few days. She half-dragged Faith's body across the floor, Buffy grunted with effort as she lifted her body onto the bed. She rested against the wall and, sinking to the floor, pulled her knees to her chest to rest her head.

Who, or what, could have inflicted this on Faith? She couldn't understand how they managed to get inside a secured jail, surrounded by high-tech security systems and patrolling guards, let alone manage to land a blow on the aggressive brunette. Buffy considered the possibility of Faith's fellow inmates ganging up on her, but she knew Faith would have established her unusual strength and low tolerance for others trying to off her in the first few days behind bars. It just didn't add up.

Buffy watched as Faith's chest rose and fell with her shallow breathing. Over the next nine hours until sunset, she saw that the bruises and cuts that lacerated her body were healing faster, but the deep gash and bruised shoulder were stubbornly remaining. Boredom became an issue after a while, but she dared not leave Faith alone. Without realizing it she began her ritual series of tai chi poses, almost immediately feeling the benefits of the relaxing stretches. Her breathing became labored far quicker than she had anticipated and she tried to ignore the reasons why. She knew, but she wasn't about to admit that she couldn't even execute a gentle exercise like tai chi.

"Never did have the patience for that."

Buffy spun around and saw Faith gazing at her from the bed; one eye forced shut by the abating bruise.

"You're awake," she confirmed in surprise.

"Yeah," she said, struggling upright and wincing. "Though I wish I wasn't."

Buffy smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, relieved that Faith's injuries weren't as bad as she thought.

"Who-or what- did this to you?" she asked worriedly.

Faith's face darkened and she scowled, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Buffy's forehead creased as she frowned. "Try me."

The brunette sighed and rested her head against the headboard.

"The Council," she said. "I should've known. Since you ain't the Slayer anymore, B, and I'm in jail, they needed some way of getting another one."

"God," Buffy breathed as it all came together. "Of course!"

Faith shot her a funny look. "You believe me?"

She snorted. "Why wouldn't I? The bastards would do anything to ensure a Slayer in their control. They withheld information on Glory..." Her voice caught in her throat at the mention of the hell god. "They're more evil than half the vampires I've staked."

"Yeah? Never liked 'em much myself," Faith admitted with a smirk. "Never expected an outright attack, though. Right in the middle of the exercise yard, in front of all the guards and prisoners."

"How'd you escape?"

"I didn't spend all those months sitting on my ass, B. Exercising was the only way to release that pent-up energy I got in that place. When they attacked, I'll admit it got me by surprise. But after warming up I did some serious ass-kickin'," she said, smiling at the memory. "I managed to get my hand cuffs off with one of their knives and used one of the lackeys to jump the wall. I just kept running and saw this outside the motel." Faith dipped her hand into her pocket and retrieved a familiar earring. Buffy's hand shot up to her ear and found that one of her earrings was missing.

"Didn't take much time in deciding where to go," Faith said with a shrug. "You can call the police if you 'wanna."

Buffy stared at her, realizing in shock that Faith still believed that Buffy hated her. After all that had happened she had never told Faith that she had forgiven the brunette for her betrayal all those years ago. God, did Faith even forgive her for thrusting that knife in her stomach? She didn't know, and the thought that the brunette hated her made her bite her lip nervously.

Maybe this had all been a mistake. She had heeded Angel's advice and come to Los Angeles to speak to Faith, but what if the Slayer couldn't help her? Buffy didn't even know what she was looking for, or what she wanted to find out. All she had known in Sunnydale that night was that she needed to be with someone who knew what being the Slayer meant. And Faith had been the only one who knew. Had she been too hasty in her decision to leave her friends and seek consolation from someone who had hurt her, and vice versa?

She remembered her friends' worried reaction when she had told them of her plans. They had exchanged skeptical glances, but she hadn't cared at that point. She only wanted to know, to _see _if being the Slayer determined who she was. Giles and the Scoobies had been adamant in their belief that she should forget about it, to live a normal life. But she knew she couldn't, _wouldn't_ live a normal life.

It was ironic, really. Only a week ago, when she had discovered Dawn's blood was the only way to close the inter-dimensional portal, she had been willing to quit if it came to that. But like everything else in her life, this choice had been thrust upon her and she was forced to deal with it. Even if she wanted it back. After all these years, she was simply Buffy. She was a nice, normal girl like she had always wanted to be and suddenly she couldn't stand the thought of it.

She shook her head slowly, "No, Faith. I'm not going to call to the police. Despite what you may think, I don't want another Slayer called any time soon."

Faith's nodded, but her eyes were uncertain. "Thanks B."

"No problem," she smiled and stood from the bed. "I don't think the Tweed Team will be searching for you in this part of town, so I want you to rest up."

"Sure thing, Mom," Faith said sarcastically, instantly regretting her comment as Buffy's face fell. "Oh, shit B, I'm sorry, I forgot..."

"Nah, it's okay," Buffy said, forcing herself to smile, "Don't worry about it." She walked over to the small bar fridge and retrieved a bottle of water. Handing it to Faith, she said, "Here. I'll go grab some food from the café down the road. What do you want?"

"Hmmm, a hamburger would be great. Been far too long since I've had some real food!" she grinned enthusiastically.

"Okay."

" And maybe some fries, and I have a craving for ice-cream. Chocolate chip, and some popcorn. Oh, Oh, and there's this new chocolate bar that I just gotta try..."

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**To Be Continued...**

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_**Review if you want more… I gotta know if you guys are reading this.**_


	5. 5

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**_Much thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter, especially _****_Spygrrl, Alixtii, Whispers, Ellen and PhoenixMoon 13. Keep 'em coming. And a big shout out to my wonderful beta, Rylee. Hope you enjoy the chapter..._**

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 5**

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"Hmmm," Faith murmured with satisfaction, licking her lips. "That hit my itch."

Buffy smiled weakly as her eyes swept over the empty cartons and packets scattered on the bed. In the space of thirty minutes Faith had consumed more food than Buffy had eaten over the past few months. Ever since she had discovered Dawn's identity as the Key and Glory's purpose, food had been pushed to the bottom of her essential list. However, now that she had watched Faith devour the feast, her mouth was beginning to water and her stomach rumble. She eyed the last chocolate bar and Faith chuckled.

"Go ahead," she said. "I've had my share."

Buffy grabbed the bar, ripped it open and took a bite, relishing in the sweet taste of chocolate. Whimpering with pleasure, she took another bite, a small smile coming to her lips. Faith watched her with amusement, and then noticed her tiny frame.

"Shit, B. You do remember food, don't 'ya? When was the last time you ate?"

Buffy lowered her head and played with the wrapper. "I had breakfast yesterday," she mumbled, feeling the chocolate settle uncomfortably in her stomach.

"Hell," Faith breathed, rolling her eyes. "It's lucky you haven't passed out yet."

The chocolate decided that it didn't like its new home in her stomach, and Buffy launched off the bed and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Faith followed her slowly, not wanting to intrude, and heard the sound of retching coming from inside. Pushing the door open, Faith walked over to where Buffy had her head stuck in the toilet and gently pulled the blonde hair away from her face. She knelt beside Buffy, awkwardly patting her on the back. She wasn't used to this comforting crap, having never tried it herself, and found it slightly disturbing that she enjoyed it. As Buffy was sick again Faith kept stroking her back and cleaning her face with a damp towel.

"It's okay, B," she murmured. "Go on, get it all out."

Buffy lurched violently and gagged into the toilet. Faith, having no idea what to do, began to get worried. Thinking frantically for something to do, she did the only thing she knew helped. She talked.

"You know what I thought when I first saw you, B?" she asked, and receiving no answer but Buffy's relaxing shoulders, continued. "I thought, 'that girl is going to be amazing'. And I was right, 'ya know. You are amazing. When I first saw you fight against a vamp, you damn near made me speechless. And that's hard to do."

Faith saw Buffy's body ease and continued to talk. "The fire you had, that was fine. I never thought anyone or anything would put it out. You loved life, 'ya know. You loved the thrill of the kill." Realizing her mistake, Faith quickly added, "I mean slay, slay. You loved it, and I saw it. You had power, and you had a god-damned lot of it. I was jealous, I'll admit it. You were freaking awesome. And you had your friends..." she trailed off, and seeing Buffy jerk forward and empty her stomach again, continued.

"Those days when we'd patrol together, they were great. Being able to slay by your side, Slayer-sisters- that's what we were-made me feel wanted, 'ya know. Like I was actually making a difference in this screwed up place. But then I...did that, and you began to drift back to your friends and I was left in the dust. I had no other choice, B, so I gave up. It was never you that made me make that choice. It was you leaving me."

She drew circles in the small of Buffy's back with the tip of her finger, reminiscing on her past mistakes.

"I didn't want anything to happen to you, but it was either lose you or lose you and him."

Buffy didn't have to ask who 'him' was. The Mayor had been the bane of her last year at high school, and although she couldn't understand why Faith had grown so attached to him, Buffy knew well enough to leave the past buried.

"I didn't mean...I didn't want..." She took a deep breath and pulled the stray bits of blonde locks from Buffy's face. "Then you stabbed me." Buffy twitched sharply but Faith's grip made her stay facing the toilet. "I'll tell you the truth, B. The knife in my stomach didn't hurt. What hurt was that you had put it there. I never thought you had it in you, B. That's what I took for granted, that's what I loved. You were innocent. And I...I took it from you."

"When I switched bodies with you I loved it. I was you! I was Buffy and I was someone. I had something. But I took it from you, a-and it was wrong. That was your life and as much fun as I had that day, it wasn't mine. I realized that when I saw you in the church. I saw me, my body, but it wasn't me. I hated it. Kinda' ironic, huh? I was the one who switched our bodies, but in the end I hated it. All I wanted was to be me again." She began to caress Buffy's hair.

"After I left you, I was a mess, B. Tried to kill Angel, and then begged him to kill me. But out of everything that's happened, jail was what broke me. I was locked away from the world, a mere spectator looking through bars as my life slipped past me. I'm a Slayer, B. I'm a primeval, don't-give-a-shit fighter. How the hell did I last this long? Another thing, I was more alone than I'd ever been in my life. And it nearly killed me."

"Faith..." Buffy whispered hoarsely, her voice husky from the acid stinging her throat.

"Nah, let me finish," Faith interrupted with a smirk. "I'm on a roll here." Faith gathered the blonde in her arms and rested against the cold wall, Buffy's head lying in her lap.

"But the worst thing I ever did in my screwed-up life was betray you. When you looked at me the day you found me out in Angel's mansion, your eyes were cold. They were cold, B, and I knew I'd screwed up everything."

She lowered her head and locked eyes with Buffy, who was gazing at her with a curious intensity, and hope flared up inside of the brunette Slayer.

"I-I don't know how to say this...I'm not very good at this kind of stuff," she continued uncertainly. "But-but...Buffy, I'm sorry."

Buffy's eyes widened in shock. Faith was apologizing? This was certainly new.

"Faith," she began and Faith bit her lip nervously. "I forgave you the day I slid that knife in your stomach."

Faith stared at her in shock and Buffy laughed gently. "A wound for a wound, a knife for a knife. You stuck a knife in my back the day you changed sides, and I stuck a knife in your stomach the day you tried to kill Angel. We were even a long time ago."

"B," she said. "I-I-I...Why?"

"Because you admitted to your mistakes and you're making up for them. You're doing something good, Faith."

Faith opened her mouth to reply, but she didn't know what to say. There was nothing she could say.

"What?" Buffy said with an amused glint in her eyes, "The famous I-got-a-say-in-everything-Faith is speechless?"

"Only you could do that, B," Faith replied with a wondrous expression on her face. "Only you."

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**To Be Continued…******

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_**Want more, you know what to do!**_


	6. 6

_Hey people! Sorry for the delay between updates. I don't really have any excuses, other than being forced to deal with something small called life that tends to get in the way. Many thanks to **Spike'sRedQueen****, PhoenixMoon 13, Spygrrl, Whispers, Dana Shields** and **Ferro.**_

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******Creed**

******Chapter 6**

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Buffy woke the next morning and found herself stiff and sore from lying on the cool, hard tiles. Groaning as she arched her back and stretched her arms above her head, she didn't notice as Faith stirred in her position against the wall. She stood up and gripped the edge of the sink, staring at her reflection.

Nothing had changed. Her eyes were still empty, void of anything that remotely resembled spark. Her blonde hair wasn't dirty but the lifeless, dull locks had long ago lost their shine and bounce. The dark circles around her eyes were gradually fading, mostly thanks to the dreamless nights of sleep that she had managed lately.

Faith watched Buffy study herself through narrow slits. She saw how Buffy had changed; gone was the fire that had once filled her eyes. Gone were the witty retorts and relaxed laughter. There was no energy radiating from the lithe body as she moved, and the bounce no longer followed her step. This couldn't happen- not to Buffy. Buffy was the only person Faith had looked up to, the only person Faith had wanted to be. If that person was gone, what hope was left for her?

Faith yawned loudly to warn Buffy and give her time to recuperate. She stretched in an effort to appear as though she were only waking and opened her eyes. Buffy straightened and smoothed her hair, shooting Faith a quick smile.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

Faith nodded, "Yeah, not bad. Bit stiff though. You all right?"

Buffy winced, remembering last night's performance. "Yeah. No food jumping in my stomach this morning."

There was a moment of silence. Faith debated whether to do anything, and then snorted inwardly at her hesitance. She never hesitated about anything. Faith had always been the type of girl who acted without thinking, and this new sensation felt extremely weird.

"B..." she began. "You know I ain't one to intrude or anything, but you look like crap."

"Thanks, but I don't need the looking-after-my-own-health pep talk I know is coming."

"I'm not Giles, but I'll give you one if you keep this stupid starving thing going," she replied.

Buffy glared at her and noticed Faith casually leap to her feet in a move Buffy always used to do. Feeling the nausea about to hit her again and suddenly feeling helpless in the presence of the other girl, she stormed from the bathroom. Faith heard her grab her jacket and slam the motel room door behind her. She remained slouched against the bathroom wall, scowling at herself for not being able to control her sharp tongue. That girl was just wound so tight that anything could set her off.

Buffy wrapped her leather duster around her small frame and hugged it to herself tightly. It had been a gift from Dawn for Buffy's help in studying for a history exam. Buffy had been surprising useful, thanks to the many hours of researching, and Dawn had passed. Buffy knew Spike had helped choose it, and she was grateful. Although Dawn had many good qualities, knowing good leather was not one of them.

The harsh wind whipped her hair back and she wished she had tied it up before leaving the motel room. The early morning air held a distinct chill, and her body was cold within minutes. There were only a few people outside this morning, most of them walking their dogs or rushing to work. She watched them go about their lives, wondering if any of them had any idea how she was feeling. It occurred to her that many of them could question their existence, their identity, and never find an answer. She bit her lip and ducked her head.

Where did Faith get off on telling her how to live? She had no right considering her track record with life experiences. She had been in jail for years and here she was, telling Buffy what to do. She doesn't know how to live...

But she knew how to be the Slayer, and what it meant. That was the only thing that kept Buffy from jumping on a bus and heading straight back to Sunnydale. Well, maybe not the only thing. The way her friends had argued with her decision to take this trip made her even more reluctant to go back home.__

She grimaced as the memory of their expressions, ranging from disbelieving to opposed, floated through her head.She had returned from the cemetery to be overwhelmed with their apologies and worried expressions, which turned to sour and distasteful glares when Angel had followed her through the door.

"What's dead-boy doing here?" Xander had asked with obvious displeasure.

"He came to see how I was...holding up," Buffy had replied, rather testy at the way they were treating him.

"Angel," Giles had stated dryly. "Do come in." Giles' relationship with Angel had always been rocky at best, and Buffy couldn't hold his reluctance to accept the vampire against him.

Angel had just nodded his thanks and waited patiently for Buffy to inform the rest of them of her decision. Attempting to work up the courage to say it and failing miserably, she plastered a fake smile on her face and told them she was sorry for walking out before.

"Buffy, don't even apologize," Giles had replied. "We just worry, that's all."

"Yeah, um...Look guys, there's something I need to do," she had blurted out, deciding to just say it instead of thinking about it. Seeing their anxious faces she had hastened on. "And you probably won't like it, but I really need to do it."

"Uh, Buffy?" Dawn had interrupted. "You're scaring me."

"Oh, God, sorry Dawnie. It's just... I need to go away for a while, to clear my head and move on. It's been hard, these last few days, and I need to-" Buffy had trailed off after that, not willing to disclose the last detail.

"Where will you go?" Giles had demanded. "What will you do? Who will you see?"

"What he asked," Xander had said, pointing to the Watcher.__

"Um, I'm going back to L.A with Angel. I really need to figure all this out...what it all means. I need to see Faith."

"_What_?" Xander had exploded, followed by more offensive expletives. "Why? How is that two-faced lunatic going to help you? Or have you already forgotten the whole trying-to-kill-us thing?"

"Buffy, I agree with Xander," Willow had added. "What can she do that we can't?"

"She can understand," Tara had whispered, causing Buffy to glance at the girl in surprise. Buffy had never become close friends with the blonde witch, but Tara always seemed to see everything.

"Exactly."

"What do you mean, understand?" Dawn had cried. "Why can't we understand? We're your family! If we can't help you, how is that stupid bitch supposed to?"

"Bit, she's trying to tell 'ya," Spike had interrupted, again arriving without anybody noticing. "It's a Slayer thing. It ain't something you just know."

"Spike's right, Dawnie," Buffy had said, smiling gratefully at the blonde vampire.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Angel had demanded, virtually growling at Spike.

"I've been helping the Slayer and the Bite Size," Spike had replied with a smirk. "Unlike you running around with your bleedin' city mates."

"Spike..."

"Hey, not to interrupt the testosterone display between you two, but I'm trying to speak, okay?" Buffy had interrupted, mentally cursing herself for not informing Angel of his Childe's new 'situation'. "Right, anyway, I need to go. I know it's sudden and everything and I'm grateful for all you've done, but..."

"It's not enough," Spike had finished, and Buffy had nodded hesitantly. A heavy silence had followed, which Buffy had been helpless to break.

"Go then," Dawn had finally said, but it held no animosity. "Whatever you need to make you better."

"I'm not sick, Dawnie-"

"I know, but you do need help. Sorry to say this so bluntly, but lately you haven't been anything more than a walking corpse."__

"Thanks."

"No problem," Dawn had replied with a smile, but although she was all right with Buffy's plan of action, the rest were not. Only Tara and Spike seemed to realize that she needed to go. __

Unable to stop her, the others had helped her pack, but the air had been thick with unresolved tension. Reluctant to leave with this hostility between them, but having no other choice, she had kissed Dawn hugged the rest. Angel had growled when she wrapped her arms around Spike's waist and whispered in his ear to protect her sister.

Buffy was pulled from her memories when a sharp scream pierced the air. Acting on instinct she immediately jumped into action, rounding the corner and finding herself at the mouth of an alley. She found herself face to face with two rather large vampires, hidden in the shadows of the long building and threatening a young woman.

She ran forward and attempted to thrust her stake at vampire number one's heart, only to be dodged and sent sprawling with one swift punch. She hit the wall with a sickening crunch, and crumbled to the ground.

Too late she realized her mistake. She wasn't the Slayer anymore. No Slayer meant no super strength, and no super strength meant no possible way of escaping this seemingly grim situation. God, she was an idiot... How could she forget? This was the reason she was in L.A, and the moment vampires had come along she had fallen back into old habits. Old habits that would more than likely get her killed if she didn't cease.

Shaking her head against the dizziness that threatened to overcome her, Buffy opened her eyes and froze when she saw the vampire slip his fangs into the woman's neck. Fury trembled through her body as he drank her life force, and Buffy pushed the throbbing pain and dizziness away. As soon as she straightened she felt a heavy blow connect with her head. She glimpsed the vampire that had knocked her as she stumbled forward. She mentally blocked out the discomfort and landed lightly. She raised her head back to the woman, and focused all her energy on getting to her. Standing once more, Buffy hobbled towards the vampire's turned back. Vaguely acknowledging the sound of the first vampire being dusted, she picked up her fallen stake and jammed it into the second vampire's back. It required a lot more effort than she was accustomed to, but it pierced the heart nonetheless.

As the dust blew into the light breeze, Buffy caught the women's body as she collapsed, lowering her gently to the ground.

"Y-you saved me," she whispered.

"Shh, it's all right. You're okay now," Buffy replied, wincing as her mental barriers collapsed and the pain came rushing over her body in a wave of suffering. The girl lapsed into unconsciousness, but she wasn't in any immediate danger.

"She's safe now," said a familiar deep voice from behind her, "because of you, Buffy. And if that isn't what a Slayer does, then stake me, because I haven't spent the best five years of my life knowing and loving the Slayer."

"It's not the same, Angel," Buffy replied without turning around, her only thought of wanting the pain to go away. "I'm not the same..."

"Who is the same as they once were?" he continued. "Everyone changes, Buffy, you know that."

Buffy continued to gaze at the still woman. "Why does it hurt so much?" she whispered. "Angel, you knew how much I hated it...Why do I need it?"

"Because it's who you are," came the reply, but it wasn't Angel who spoke. Buffy turned to face Faith, startled to find her cheeks wet from falling tears. Faith and Angel exchanged a worried glance and an unspoken agreement was made between them. Angel gently pried the woman's body from Buffy's hands, and Faith pulled her into a tight hug.

She placed a light kiss on Buffy's forehead and scooped the blonde girl into her arms.

"Who am I now, then?" Buffy whispered to herself, but both the vampire and the Slayer heard it.

****

**To Be Continued…**

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**_I'll be eternally grateful if you ease my curiosity and tell me what you thought of this chapter, or this fic as a whole, or even the way I write. Until next time._**


	7. 7

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**_A huge shout out to Spike'sRedQueen, Rylee Jane, Whispers, Malfeus, Thanaxas_, _PhoenixMoon 13, FallenAngel and Spygrrl. You guys are_ _amazing!_**

**__**

**_Disclaimer: None of this is mine (except for the plot) and I'm not making any money._**

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 7**

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Buffy stirred and woke, shifting uncomfortably on the scored surface she was lying on. Cautiously opening her eyes, she found herself staring at a rather high ceiling. She straightened slowly, gazing at her surroundings. The roof was extremely high, and two curving grand staircases led to a terraced second floor. Turning her head, she saw a desk with papers strewn across it and several doors behind it. There was a weapon's cabinet in the far wall, and her eyes caught on a familiar dagger.

Angel.

She must be at the Hyperion Hotel. It was much more palatial than he had described it, and she was impressed by his set up. A shrill ring pierced the air and she ducked low as a hassled young girl rushed into the room.

"Angel's Investigations," she said into the phone. "We help the helpless, how can we help you?"

Buffy raised her eyebrows at their motto, and silently slid off the couch, walking around it and standing in front of the counter. The brunette murmured a few 'yes' and 'hmm' and Buffy realized that she was a petite woman, not the girl she had imagined earlier. The woman placed the phone back on its hook, humming to herself. She glanced up from the notepad and jumped in panic when she saw Buffy, tripping over her own feet in fright and landing in a heap on the floor. Buffy quickly ran around to the other side and knelt beside the fallen woman.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, n-no, don't worry!" she said, eyeing Buffy. "My fault, I wasn't paying attention. You know how it is, distractions and things, never notice anything else. I was thinking, and you surprised me, but I'm just so clumsy..."

"Fred, are you all right?"

Buffy recognized the careful British accent, and whirled around to face her ex-Watcher. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Buffy?" he exclaimed, rushing over to collect her in a hug. "What are you doing here?"

Buffy inconspicuously extracted herself from his embrace and stepped back. "Oh, I'm, uh, here for a visit," she stammered lamely. He had changed since she had last seen him. No longer was he the stiff, uppity Watcher she had known. He still held himself straight and tall, but he radiated confidence and comfort rather than pride and smug self assurance. She noticed the lack of gel in his mussed hair and the casual clothes he wore. Wesley was the not the same stuffy Watcher that she had known all those years ago. Here stood a different man, weathered from years of hardships, failures and trials.

"Oh, really?" Wesley asked, genuinely surprised. Buffy had never visited before, and to do so now was rather unusual. Now that he had looked at her, Wesley noticed that she had changed a considerable amount since he had last seen her. She seemed weary, almost fed up. Of what, he was unsure. He shrugged it off, telling himself that Buffy's reasons were her own. "It's really good to see you, though."

"You too, Wes, you too."

A small cough from behind them shook the two from their musings, and Wesley moved in between the two women.

"Buffy, this is Fred, and Fred, Buffy," he introduced them, gesturing from one woman to the other.

"H-hi," Fred greeted, awed that the woman she had heard so much about was so tiny. How a woman this small could have saved the world four times was beyond her.

"Hey," Buffy replied, still feeling a little embarrassed for having scared Fred so completely. "Sorry about scaring you before..."

"Oh, don't worry!" Fred cut the apology off, waving her hands in the air. "After being trapped in a demon dimension for years I'm a bit jumpy at everything. And I just seem to have a problem working both my brain and my body at the same time. I'm getting better though..."

As Fred continued to babble, Buffy was reminded of Willow. She felt a pang of loss at the redhead's absence, which got her thinking about Dawn and the others and in a direction she didn't want to take.

"Fred, Wes, have you seen..."

Buffy spun around to see Angel exit his office, and Angel trailed off when he saw the blonde.

"Buffy," he said. "You're awake."

Buffy fidgeted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I just woke. Uh, how did I get here?"

"Faith and I brought you back after the fight this morning," he explained. "You do remember it don't you? You're not hurt?" he asked, his forehead creasing in concern.

"Yes and no," she replied, wincing at the memory of that morning. "What about the woman? Is she...?"

"She's fine," he interrupted, knowing what she had been thinking. "She's staying at the hospital overnight but should be released tomorrow."

Buffy released the breath that she didn't know she had been holding and visibly relaxed. The silence became uncomfortable and Buffy felt the back of her neck prickle, suddenly aware that she felt vulnerable. She glanced around the lobby and realized why.

"Where's Faith?" she asked, immediately feeling the absence of the brunette.

"She's asleep upstairs," Wesley replied. "She got a bit roughed up after she discovered the nest in that alley."

"Nest?" Buffy demanded, narrowing her eyes. "What nest? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She was so angry after you got hurt that she went back alone and destroyed the lot of them," Angel assured her. "She's just resting now. Room twenty-six."

She was already halfway up the stairs before she could hear what room Faith was in, but Buffy didn't need directions to find the brunette. Her slayer-sister shared a strong bond with her that she could follow to the end of the world, a sixth sense that allowed her to feel Faith's presence. It was similar to the tingly-feeling she felt when a vampire was near, but less unpleasant. She briefly pondered why she could still feel it, seeing as she was no longer a Slayer, but abruptly brushed the thought away.

She knocked softly on room twenty-six and after waiting patiently for a reply and receiving none, slipped inside. Faith was lying fully clothed on her side, and apparently hadn't bothered to get under the covers of her bed. She was snoring softly, and Buffy felt a smile tug on the edge of her lips. She had never seen Faith look so innocent and childlike. Her hands were tucked beneath her head and her ankles were crossed, knees pulled slightly upward. There was a small cut on Faith's cheek, and she could see the start of a bruise on the brunette's shoulder.

Buffy approached the bed and a small frown played on her lips. Faith should have healed by now, with her swift healing and the time that had passed. She sat gently on the edge of the bed beside Faith.

The brunette cried out softy in her sleep. "No! I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

Buffy startled at the anguish that filled Faith's voice. It pained her to see the strong girl fall apart in her sleep. She seemed so vulnerable, so weak and begging to be comforted. What she would give to feel like that...

"Shhh," Buffy whispered, pushing back a stray strand of hair from Faith's face. "It's alright, you're okay."

Faith's hand shot out and grabbed Buffy's, entwining their fingers. She felt a tremor of fire ignite through her body as their skin touched, and gasped at the contact. She couldn't ever remember feeling like this, like she was on fire and being consumed by the flames. She enjoyed it. She was feeling...feeling something.

All of a sudden Faith rolled over and broke their contact. Buffy almost cried out at the loss, but managed to remain silent. Apparently, Faith had other ideas.

"Don't let me go," she whimpered. "Please!"

Despite knowing that Faith was still asleep, Buffy couldn't help but reply. "I won't," she whispered, shaking her head furiously. "I can't."

Faith suddenly rolled back over, wrapping her arm around Buffy's waist. She pulled the blonde closer, forcing Buffy to lie down on the bed. As soon as Faith touched her, the fire within her started again, and her heart was beating uncontrollably. Buffy lay on her back and Faith cuddled into her chest, holding her tightly around the waist. She was becoming frightened by the emotions that rushed through her. Warmth, life, energy, happiness... It surrounded her and engulfed her, filling her with an increasing urge to run. But she was sick of running, sick of not feeling.

Buffy gingerly placed her hand on Faith's arm, hoping that the sensations wouldn't leave her. She felt Faith's body tense, and her heart skipped a beat as the brunette raised her head and met Buffy's eyes.

"What...?" she murmured.

"I-I was j-just checking on you," Buffy stammered. "Y-you grabbed me in your sleep."

She was hoping against hope that Faith would stay beside her and keep holding her. But Faith's eyes filled with surprise and then guilt and she instantly pulled away, causing Buffy to grieve for the loss of contact.

"Sorry," Faith muttered, rolling off the bed as Buffy sat up. "Must have been dreaming of some guy I picked up."

Buffy felt a pang of jealousy at the mention of Faith's past lovers and frowned. Where had that come from? Why was she jealous of Faith's conquests?

"I really didn't mean it, B," Faith continued, misreading her grimace.

Buffy shook her head sadly. "I know."

Faith gave her a quizzical look. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she replied, suddenly flustered under Faith's scrutiny.

"I mean now, B, not tomorrow or next week," Faith said, walking back over to the bed. Buffy's heart sped up again, and she couldn't figure out why she felt a flush rise up her neck.

"I _am _fine, I mean, I am." She nodded and suddenly became awfully interested in the wallpaper.

"Don't lie, B, you were never good at it." Faith smiled at her, and Buffy felt her lip twitch.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"No problem," Faith said. "But we'll find what you're looking for. Together."

Buffy felt a tremor of hope when she heard Faith say they would be together. She didn't understand what she was feeling for the brunette Slayer. And funnily enough she didn't care, because Faith made her feel something, and that was enough.

"Get some rest, B," she said. "I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Faith," she spoke suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Stay?"

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Buffy woke to find a delicious warmth flowing through her. It was something she hadn't felt since discovering the loss of her Slaying powers. She snuggled deeper into the pillow, trying to retain the heated sensations coursing through her body. She suddenly felt a hand grab her hip and opened her eyes in surprise. Buffy found herself gazing into the eyes of a sleepy brunette, whose dark hair hung in curls around her face.

"Morning, sleepy head," she greeted with a smile.

"I think it's more like night," Buffy replied, glancing out the window.

"Nope, it's two in the morning, so technically I'm right." She smirked, but then suddenly became aware of their position, and Faith dropped her eyes, pulling her hand away from Buffy's hip. Like the day before, she awkwardly moved away, shuffling onto her side of the bed and sitting upright. "Um... I feel kinda' jumpy, so I'm gonna go out. You all right?"

Buffy struggled to sit up, and gave a short nod. "Yeah, sure, I'll be fine."

She had woken up in the Hyperion's lobby almost two days ago. Angel had forced her to remain in bed for most of it, and Cordelia had been surprising helpful in treating her bruises and cuts. She had no idea what Faith or the others had been up to while she was resting, but she truly did feel better and was ready to do anything. She wasn't accustomed to resting so much and her restless legs limbs protested.

Faith nodded and moved out of the room, stopping a foot outside the door. She dropped her head for a moment, as though gathering her nerves, and then reopened the door. Buffy glanced up in surprise from her seat on the edge of the bed.

"Feel like clubbing it tonight, B?"

Buffy was silent for a few seconds before a smile played across her lips. It was the first real smile Faith had seen since Buffy had come to visit her. It completely changed her appearance; lightening her eyes and making her cheeks appear fuller. Faith had never remembered Buffy looking so...well, so attractive. She had always been the pretty blonde Slayer, but now she had matured into a beautiful woman, confident in her body and skin.

"Sure," she answered, following Faith into the hall.

"You sure you're up for it?" Faith asked, glancing quickly at Buffy. "I know the attack was only two days ago, but…"

"I'm fine," Buffy replied firmly, not giving the brunette a chance to see her uncertainty. There was no way she'd give Faith or Angel a reason to lock her in that room any longer.

The door clicked shut behind them and they made their way down the stairs. Angel glanced up from the front desk as they descended. He silently closed the book he had been researching through.

"Going out?" he asked in a hushed voice.

Faith nodded as she slipped her jacket on. Buffy wondered where she had gotten new clothes from, and found out that Faith had gone shopping after Buffy had stormed out.

"Shopping?" Buffy asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.

Faith had the decency to look sheepish. She shrugged. "Shopping, stealing, same diff."

Buffy rolled her eyes and Angel startled at how relaxed she looked. She was an entire contrast to the broken woman she had been the day before.

"And what about my clothes?" Buffy asked, looking down at her outfit ad scrunching her nose.

"I went to your motel room and got your clothes and things," Angel said. "I put them upstairs. I hope you don't mind-"

"Mind? You're a life saver!" she said, running back up the stairs to change. Angel watched her go, feeling the familiar tightening of his chest. Faith leaned against his desk and picked up his book.

"What're you reading?" she asked.

"The ancient texts of the Khuya."

She dropped it like it was on fire. "Don't ever let me pick up one of your books again, 'kay?"

"Deal."

Faith noticed his lingering gaze at the stairs, and felt a twinge of jealousy. Angel loved Buffy, and no matter who she met or did, she would always love him. They had too much history not to always hold a piece of each other, and Faith wished that one day she would be able to say she loved someone that much.

Buffy raced down the stairs, now clad in jeans, a tight-fitting black tank top and high heels.

"We're going to a club," Faith informed him. "Be back later."

They were gone before Angel could reply, leaving him staring at the door as it swung shut behind them. He hadn't been able to rest properly since Willow's phone call, and all he wanted to do was to gather Buffy in his arms and comfort her. All he wanted to do was to kiss her and tell her that everything would be all right. Angel had thought that he had moved on from Buffy, but after seeing her so close to giving up he knew that he hadn't. She had saved him from the brink of insanity, dragged him back from ending his torment, and he wanted to repay her. He wanted to save her as she had once saved him, and it was tearing him up that he didn't know how.

He slumped forward, resting his back against the desk. He was clueless as to how to help her. The only time when she looked half okay was when she was around...

It hit him with full force and he cursed himself for not realizing it. Faith. Buffy had asked him to drive her here to visit Faith in an attempt to discover what being a Slayer meant to her, but it didn't appear that she had yet asked Faith for help. Angel scowled, realizing that Buffy was too stubborn to just come right out and ask for help. He had to get Faith to dig deeper, to find out what Buffy really needed. He felt a twinge of unease at the thought of the brunette being the one who would save Buffy, but he couldn't think of any other plan that could work.

His gaze travelled to the second floor, where the people who had become his family rested. His life had changed so much since he had left Buffy, and despite still harboring love for her, he knew that he wouldn't change a thing if he had the chance. Cordelia, Wes, Gunn and Fred were too important to him now, and they had become his life. And an interesting life at that.

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**To Be Continued…**

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_**Want more? Then tell me how much you want it by dropping me a review!**_

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	8. 8

_There isn't enough room here to convey all my apologies for the delay, so let's just settle for I'M SORRY and continue on with the story, 'kay?_

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 8**

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Buffy followed closely behind Faith as she weaved her way through the crowd. She grabbed onto Faith's top, not wanting to lose her in the sweaty mass of people. She hadn't hit the club scene in a long time, and the deafening music and the lack of fresh air made her head spin.

Faith felt a small smile tug at the corner of her lips when Buffy's fingers brushed against her back. She knew that Buffy was only holding her because she didn't want to lose Faith in the thick crowd but it still made her spine tingle. She moved her hand back and grabbed Buffy's hand, leading her forward as Faith pushed her way towards the bar. She raised her free hand to signal the bartender over, and after ordering two drinks she turned back to Buffy, dropping her hand when she saw her reddened cheeks.

For some reason that she couldn't comprehend, Faith was beginning to become rather nervous. It was an unfamiliar feeling to her; nerves tended to be non-existent with her. But tonight, her palms were sweating, and her black leather pants stuck uncomfortably to her legs. She found her gaze anxiously shooting from the blonde back to her drink. She didn't understand what was causing her to feel this way.

Over the deafening music, Faith asked Buffy if she wanted to dance. She must have misunderstood because she nodded then replied that she should go ahead, and that she would wait at the bar. Faith began to correct her, and shrugged before heading towards the dance floor. She didn't want to dance alone, but couldn't bring herself to ask Buffy.

She moved to the dance floor and gradually lost control of her body as the continuous beat surrounded her. She found dancing to be the next best therapy to slaying. It gave her a freedom that she couldn't find anywhere other than when she was slaying. She closed her eyes to the other dancers, and blocked out the shouts and other noises, leaving only her and the music. But as she became completely immersed in her unaccompanied dance, she felt a familiar tingle.

Immediately snapping back into focus, she searched for the vampire, finding that her senses were dulled by the sudden return of the people surrounding her. She probed the crowd, eventually settling her gaze on a tall brunette, his skin unnaturally pale. She swaggered over to him, swinging her curvaceous hips and biting her lip to redden it. He noticed her almost immediately and she raised her hand, enticing him with one beckoning finger. She sashayed out of the club and rested her back against the wall of the back alley. Only a second later he followed her outside, and she quickly dispatched him with one swift thrust of her stake.

She walked back inside, refreshed by the thrill of slaying. She found her eyes seeking Buffy almost immediately, and silently scolded herself. Why was that girl constantly on her mind? She tried to shake off the feeling of need, but she continued to search for the blonde nonetheless. When she finally found Buffy, she felt a surge of jealousy fill her. She wanted nothing more than to rush over and drag that guy away from Buffy, but she stilled her raging jealousy and watched with bated breath. She was hoping that Buffy was not interested in him, but she knew Buffy had a thing for straight-cut commando boys, and this guy was as close as you could get- Riley withstanding. Faith shook her head, firmly telling herself that Buffy could talk to whoever she wanted, commando guys included.

She headed back to the dance floor, purposefully keeping her eyes trained on the band on the stage.

Buffy slowly found her concentration wandering, as the guy sitting beside her- was it Nick? - droned on about his stellar career in the art world. Something about a gallery and selling hundreds of paintings...she couldn't bring herself to pay attention. She was searching for Faith, but couldn't find her on the dance floor. She was sure she had felt her there only a minute ago. She wondered why her link with the brunette was the only thing that still remained from her days as a Slayer. Having Faith around was a constant reminder of the old days before the Mayor, and it was oddly comforting.

The guy launched into a tale about how he graduated college with top scores and Buffy fought the sudden urge to laugh. She would have to tell Faith about this, as soon as the brunette Slayer rescued her from the dull thirty-something guy that may as well have been talking to himself. She turned her focus back onto the floor, searching for Faith. Why couldn't she find her?

Faith began to dance vigorously, swaying to match the fast beat of the music. She felt a large hand grab her behind and she felt a surge of anger swell inside her. How dare he think he can touch her like that? She swung around in a fit of heated rage and grabbed the offending hand, squeezing hand. The guy's smirk turned into a surprised then painful expression.

"Touch me or any other girl like that again and you won't have a hand at all," she hissed, and he nodded hastily. She released his hand and ignored his muttered 'bitch'. She turned around and found Buffy right behind her, looking at her in concern.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine," Faith replied in confusion. "Why?"

Buffy looked away uncomfortably.

"What? What is it?" Faith urged.

Buffy raised her head slowly, meeting Faiths eyes. "D-do you still feel the...um, bond thingy between us?"

"Bond thingy?" Faith repeated blankly.

"You know," she said. "You remember how we used to be able to feel when each other were around? I think it was something to do with the fact that we were both Slayers, like our power came from the same roots."

Faith nodded. "I remember. But what has this got to do with me being all right?"

"I felt it," Buffy whispered, too low for Faith to hear.

"What?" she said, raising her voice as a new song began.

"I felt it," Buffy repeated, watching Faith's brown eyes grow larger. "I felt your anger when that guy grabbed you."

"You what...?" Faith shook her head in amazement. How could Buffy still feel the Slayer link between them when she was no longer a Slayer?

"I knew you were angry, and I felt the satisfaction you had when you attacked that guy." She smiled wryly.

"Hey!" Faith snorted indignantly. "I did not attack him, I just threatened him."

"Oh. Well that's all right then." Buffy's smile widened. "Wanna dance?"

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**To Be Continued…**

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_Hope you haven't all abandoned me, because I haven't abandoned this fic. Real life came knocking at my door for a two month holiday! Anyway, I'd be grateful if you reviewed and told me what you thought._


	9. 9

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Creed**

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**Chapter 9**

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Faith felt her head go light and her heart speed with excitement at the prospect of dancing with Buffy. She didn't know why she felt this way; she'd been asked to dance- and do a lot more- by a countless number of guys and girls. But they had never affected her like Buffy did. She nodded and turned to face the band, not wanting to show how shaken she really was. She saw Buffy begin to dance out of the corner of her eye, swaying her slight hips and raising her arms above her head. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, shuffling her feet to the fast tempo. Faith felt herself driven to move by the relaxed look on Buffy's face.

Time flew by as song after song played throughout the club, and Buffy had a distinct feeling of deja vu. She remembered a particular day years ago, where she had blown off a chemistry exam to hunt vampires with Faith. That night they had Bronzed it long and hard, both dancing with a band of hormonal teenage boys, teasing them endlessly with their slinky moves and seductive smiles. She had felt a certain rush of adrenaline at the freedom they had, something she had not had in a long while, and it felt good to do what she pleased without worrying about the consequences.

Tonight, as more and more bodies pressed against theirs, they both continued to compare that night to this one. Buffy knew the difference; that night she and Faith had been equals. Tonight, Buffy felt Faith hovering nearby, poised to leap at anyone willing to touch her. Faith's thoughts were moving along another line of thought. She had been more interested and focused on the men surrounding her that night back in Sunnydale. This night, she barely noticed them. All her thoughts were centered on the tiny blonde opposite her, grinding against an awed-looking blonde man.

She found herself becoming bored as Buffy's focus was centered on the guy, and retreated back into her mind. Slowly, ever so slowly, she blocked out the sounds and faces of those surrounding her. Soon, only she and the music existed, and she found herself once more probing the crowd. She found a few vampires, but they were already on their way out alone and she decided to concentrate on those who were an imminent threat. She turned her attention away from them and focused it on the dance floor.

She was stunned when a bright flame flickered into the darkness behind her closed eyelids. She felt a burning, electric shock travel down her spine, and stared as the flame began to take shape. It shaped itself into a figure, small but powerful, and it began to flicker swiftly. It finally stopped shaping itself and Faith heard a small gasp escape her lips. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at the source of the flame.

Buffy.

She realized that she had stopped dancing and the men had drifted away. She knew that Buffy had been right. The bond was still there, as strong as it had always been, and Faith couldn't understand why she hadn't felt it before. But now it was as strong as it had been in her small trance, and the fires in the pit of her stomach made her feel warmer than she thought she ever had. Was this what Buffy had felt? Was this what Buffy had meant when she said she had felt Faith's anger? The warmth that flowed through her was so similar to the sensation she had felt when she had first seen Buffy that it felt like the years between then and now had not occurred.

Buffy looked up and saw Faith gazing at her, frozen on the dance floor, and she knew that Faith could feel it. Could feel the intensity of the heat they both felt. Could feel _her. _And it suddenly occurred to Buffy why being around Faith made her feel okay. Why being around Faith made the world seem a little bit easier to live in.

Faith was what she should be. Faith was the Slayer; the one thing Buffy had been all her life. The one thing Buffy was missing. She could still sense the Slayer in Faith, and it drew her to the brunette. Faith was the key to unlocking why she was not the Slayer anymore, and why the Slayer had been a part of her. She had thought that they were two different beings, forced into one body. But they were the same. Buffy and the Slayer, the Slayer and Buffy. There were no strings that tied them together, no space that separated them. They were intertwined together as one. At least, they _had _been, until Glory. Now she was only Buffy. And she hated it.

"You feel it," she whispered, and Faith nodded. "What does it mean?"

Faith shrugged. "I don't know, B. But it's just as strong as before..."

"I know."

"This is weird, B. I can feel you there, but you still ain't the Slayer."

"I know. When I felt you, I thought maybe...but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I know it won't come back, but I kept thinking that if I could only sense one vampire, maybe, just maybe, I could get it back." Faith stayed silent. "And when I'm around you, I felt like… like old times. Like when I was the Slayer. But it's not and I'm not, and I have to get used to it. Faith, I came out here to find out why I'm no one without being the Slayer, but all I'm doing is holding onto the past. I need to move on and get over it. Let it go. I think I want to go back home."

"Yeah." The brunette nodded, mentally kicking herself for believing that Buffy would remain here with her. "Whatever."

Buffy must have seen the disappointment, because she quickly corrected herself. "I don't mean now. Soon. Maybe a week or so."

Faith nodded and motioned towards the door, revealing none of her relief. "Okay. What're you going to do before then?"

"I don't know. Party hard, sleep lots, got some well-earned rest before we head back."

"We?" Faith repeated blankly.

"We," Buffy affirmed. "You didn't think I could leave you here to terrorize Angel, did you? I'm not going back without you."

Faith stared at her, unsure of what to say. "Thanks," she finally managed to murmur, astonished that Buffy wanted her around. She swallowed her wonder and grinned at the blonde. "How about those drinks?"

"Now?"

"Well, I know a good bar not far from here…"

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They arrived home just before the sun appeared on the horizon. They slipped through the hotel silently, trying not to wake any of its inhabitants. It was dark inside, and Buffy grabbed Faith's hand so she could follow the brunette. They tip toed across the lobby and their feet made a tiny pattering as their shoes hit the marble. Buffy yawned and she released Faith's hand to cover her mouth. Her toe cuffed the top of a step and she was pitched forward into the brunette. Faith shrieked as they landed on the stairs in a jumble of limbs. They stared at each other for a moment before breaking into giggles.

"Are you girls drunk?"

They glanced up to see Angel watching them from the second floor, a sharp but amused expression on his face. They looked at each other again and dissolved into another round of laughter. They were drunk, having decided to have a few drinks at the bar. A few drinks had turned into a drinking game, and that had eventuated into a lot more alcohol than the two could hold.

"Nope," Faith replied. She straightened and held out a hand for Buffy to take. Lifting the blonde to her feet, she stumbled a little and shot Angel a wild grin. "Now, good sssssir," Faith said. Her words were slurred and caused Buffy to chuckle, the noise echoing across the lobby. "We young ladies must be off to get our beauty sleep."

"Angel, man, what's happening?" Gunn appeared beside the vampire, and he rubbed his eyes sleepily. He glanced down at the two women on the steps. "What the hell?"

Wesley appeared only a few seconds later, complaining about the noise. He saw Buffy and Faith sprawled across the steps.

"And I assume they are leaving for an early morning training session, and are _not _only arriving home."

"You assumed wrong, English," Gunn said.__

"Couldn't you girls arrive home at a reasonable hour?" Wesley sighed.

Cordelia's clipped tones resounded down the corridor. "It's six in the freaking morning. What the hell is going on?" She glanced over the balcony and saw them. "Oh, trust. Don't you people know what sleep is?"

"Yes, we dooo," Buffy replied. "Because we _are _young ladiess, and we _doo _need to ssleep." She suddenly pitched forward again, and promptly passed out in Faith's arms.

Angel hurried forward and lifted her into his arms.

"She just couldn't wait to sleep." Faith sighed. "Or maybe she just wanted an excuse to be carried by the handsome gentleman. Maybe I should faint too."

"Don't even think about it," he replied, swinging Buffy over his left shoulder and holding Faith around the waist with his other hand. "When did you guys stop drinking?"

"When the bar closed," Faith answered.

"No wonder you two are completely wasted," Gunn said, shaking his head and chuckling softly.

The others went back to bed and Angel pushed the door to Faith's room open. He released her to stumble onto the bed. She crawled under the covers and pulled them up to her chin, shivering despite the warmth radiating through the room. He pulled Buffy off his shoulder and gazed at her while she lay in his arms. She looked so vulnerable, lying motionless in his grip, breathing softly. Her chest rose and fell so slightly that it was barely visible through her top. He noticed how thin and pale she had become. The two pink flushes on her cheeks were the only sign of life in her face. It tore him apart to see her like this.

He turned to put Buffy in another room, but remembered how she had woken her first morning at the Hyperion. She had panicked when she realized Faith wasn't with her, and he didn't want her to wake with the same fright again. He turned back and heaved away the bed covers, gently placing her beneath them. He pulled the blanket to her chin, and checked that she was breathing properly. Once he was certain she'd be okay he walked towards the door. Pausing at the entrance to look back, he sighed and closed the door.

As soon as he was gone, Faith rolled over in her sleep and flung her arm across Buffy's stomach. She responded, snuggling into Faith's embrace. The two girls fell deeper into sleep, comforted by the closeness of the other.

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**To Be Continued…**

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	10. 10

_Yeah, quick updates huh? Go me! Anyway, thanks to Whispers, rma, cho, Meme and Hugo for your reviews for the last chapter. Much appreciated! _

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 10**

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When Buffy finally woke up she yawned and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her head was pounding, and it took her a moment to remember why she was still dressed in her clothes. She recalled Faith's decision to stay and have a couple of drinks, but after that it became blurry.

The door opened and Buffy grabbed the blanket, pulling it up to her chin and closing her eyes.

"Hey B," Faith said as she strolled in.

"Hey," she mumbled. Opening her eyes and seeing the light of the afternoon sun, she groaned and slumped back into the bed. She felt like she'd been a punching bag for a host of vamps.

"It's too early."

"Yeah, I know," Faith said, yanking the blankets away from her and pulling the blinds away from the window. "But it's lunch time."

"Already?"

"What do I have to do to get you up?" Faith sighed.

"Give me ten cups of coffee and a packet of aspirin," she replied.

Faith grinned as she walked back out the door. "I thought I saw some coffee downstairs…"

Buffy shot up and hastily followed her. "Wait up! I'm coming."

"Oh, look who we have here." Buffy glanced over her shoulder and saw Cordelia smirking at her. "Feeling well this morning?"

She glared at the brunette, who only laughed in reply.

When they arrived in the lobby, Wesley immediately handed them coffee. He smiled knowingly and Buffy watched him suspiciously. Faith dropped onto the couch, downing her coffee in one go.

"Had a bit of a night, girls?" Gunn asked, grinning widely. Buffy groaned.

"God, what did I do?"

Cordelia chuckled. "Nothing a _young lady _shouldn't do," she said, causing Wesley and Gunn to dissolve into laughter. Even Angel, who was walking out of the kitchen at the time, struggled to conceal his amusement. Buffy watched them, mystified.

"Faith, do you have any idea what they're on about?"

The brunette shrugged. "Nope."

Suddenly, the front door slammed open and a squad of men rushed in, guns pointed at the group eating their lunch. They were all dressed in black with bullet proof vests strapped to their chests. Three men clad in suits followed them through the door; their smug countenance reminded Buffy uncannily of Wesley upon his first arrival in Sunnydale. It didn't take Buffy long to put two and two together.

"Watchers."

A short, elderly man stepped forward, hands clasped behind his back. "Ah, Miss Summers," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Quentin," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. She showed no signs of the throbbing in her head or the queasiness in her stomach. She was a picture of defiance, glaring at the Head of the Watcher's Council.

"I did not expect to find you here," he said.

"You didn't expect me to defeat Glory, either."

He chuckled. "No, I certainly did not. But as you did defeat her and suffered the consequences, I'm afraid the Council must take certain… measures." His eyes flickered to where Faith stood, and Buffy understood the reason of their visit. She glanced over and saw the brunette's wild and desperate eyes, and they exchanged a worried glance.

Buffy saw the panic flaring in Faith's face and realized the depth of her fear. Faith was afraid of the Council. She was afraid because of the memory of her first Watcher, scared of what the Council had tried to do to her, and terrified of being forced to submit to them. Buffy knew what it felt like to be under the Council's command. Constricting, suffocating, threatened… unimportant. To place that on Faith's already heavy plate would be enough to push her over the edge again, and she couldn't allow that to happen. Last time she had ignored to possibility, and look at where they had ended up. Buffy needed to help Faith stay on track and whether it was for her benefit or for Faith's she couldn't decide.

"No," she declared.

"No?" Travers repeated.

"No. You're not taking her. You're not forcing her to work for you. You're not killing her to call another Slayer. You're going to turn around and go back from where you came."

Travers looked momentarily stunned by her outburst, but then a smug smile appeared on his lips. "Your threats worked last time because you had the power. Do you forget, Miss Summers, you current situation? As much as it pains you to accept it, you are not the Slayer anymore. Faith here is, and it is our duty to see that she does not slide. We have the power now, and I would urge you to step aside."

"If I step aside, do you really think you could take her against her will?" Buffy asked, matching Travers haughty smile with her own to cover how shaken she really was.

"We will take her whether or not you do step aside, but if you are willing…"

"I am not willing," Buffy snapped. "And you don't have the power. You never have. I may not be the Slayer anymore, but Faith still is. There is always a Slayer, and from the moment I took control during your review we became the ones in charge. You think because I'm gone things will turn back to the way they were? Well it won't, because I'm not dead. I'm still here, and as long as I am you are merely there to offer information."

"You forget that we are the ones holding guns," Travers replied, a hard glint appearing in his eyes. Angel and the crew stood silently in the background, willing to let Buffy diffuse the situation with words but ready to leap into action if they are not enough.

"Are you really going to shoot us?" Buffy shot back. "You pride yourself on doing what you must to protect the world, and yet you are threatening to kill us. I can see now why Slayers never used to make it past their eighteenth birthday. It's because you dragged them down. You made them want to give up. I think I've been fighting the wrong people."

"You have never understood-"

"No," Faith interrupted calmly. "_You _have never understood. You have never understood what it means to be the Slayer. And I'm going to tell you." She stepped forward, standing alongside Buffy. "I can rip that gun from your hands and blow your head off before you saw me move. Then I could shoot every single one of your lackeys before they even got a shot off. I can tell you that I'm the Slayer, and I'll continue slaying wherever I please and with whatever people I choose. I can tell you that I am more powerful than you will ever dream of. I can tell you to go back to good ol' England and stay there, because I don't want you in my sight. And you'll do what I say, because you're beginning to realize that Watchers are simply there to watch. You don't do anything to the Slayer except aid her to die, and that stops now. Go home, Travers."

Buffy listened to Faith in amazed pride, hearing her own feelings reflected in the brunette's words. Or rather, the way she used to feel. Hearing Faith talk about the power she had made Buffy ache in a way she didn't know was possible. It covered every inch of her skin and permeated her very soul, and she struggled to keep her face blank. It became harder to breathe, and even as the Watchers lowered their weapons and departed, Buffy found her head becoming light. She watched as Faith's shoulders sagged, a visible sign of her relief. Angel wrapped an arm around her shoulder and smiled at her. Cordelia and Gunn exchanged a high five, and Wes grinned, brushing a hand through his scruffy hair. Buffy stumbled back a few steps, attracting the others attention to her. Then she turned and fled up the stairs. No one followed her or mentioned it the next morning.

The week passed quickly. Buffy and Faith went out during the nights, partying hard into the morning. They purposely avoided anything even remotely connected to anything supernatural, and stuck to behaving like a couple of wild girls out for a good night. Men sought them out, only to be turned down quickly. They were only there for themselves, and nothing else could interest them. Buffy tried to repeat what had happened their first night of clubbing, and Faith constantly searched for the spark she had felt, but there was nothing. Soon they both either forgot about it, or talked themselves into denying it.

Faith accompanied the gang on a few cases, hating the notion of leaving Buffy at the hotel. Buffy waved of her concerns, hiding the envy she felt as Faith prepared to go and trying to squash the fear of Faith going without her. She kept busy, helping Cordelia with the filing and boring office work. The two actually managed to control their dislike of each other and had some quality girl-bonding time. They attempted to get Fred to leave her room, but the brunette would only respond to Angel, and they soon gave up. Buffy felt a twinge of jealousy as the young woman's eyes lit up whenever Angel came to visit her. It wasn't as intense as she thought it would be, and soon she began to wonder why it wasn't painful to be around him.

She tried not to think about it much and when the week ended, Buffy was ready to return home. The night before they left, Faith snuck into Buffy's room and sat on the end of her bed. They didn't speak. Buffy lifted the blankets in a silent offer and Faith slipped beneath them. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

****

Faith woke in Buffy's arms, and wondered if her stars and planets had finally sorted themselves out and aligned to give her incredible amounts of luck.

"We should get going."

Faith startled and saw that Buffy was already awake, gazing down at her.

"Yeah, I suppose."

They walked into the lobby slowly, trying to put off their departure. The gang was already awake and researching for their latest case. Faith strolled over to where Angel was leaning against the counter. She punched him lightly in the arm. "Thanks, A-man," she said, "for letting me crash here for a while."

"Anytime, Faith." He squeezed her shoulder. "You know you're welcome here, don't you?"

"I'd better be," she joked, and quickly said her goodbyes to the others. Angel approached Buffy, and she dreaded it. Their goodbyes never ended well. They were always filled with tension and angst and underlying emotions that they both felt but never mentioned. But he surprised her.

"You going to be okay?" he asked, too softly for the others to hear.

She looked at him, locking eyes. "I don't know," she whispered truthfully. "I don't know."

He hugged her and she found herself gripping to his top.

"You'll come back and visit?"

She nodded, wordlessly.

"I miss you," he said, and Buffy found it easy to reply.

"I miss you, too," she said.

And that was it. He watched as she hugged the others, and she turned to glance at him as she held open the front door. She offered him a smile, a small, slight smile that only he caught. But in that smile he saw a glimpse of hope. He knew she would be alright. Buffy was a fighter, and she didn't give up. He saw Faith hopping on her feet outside, waving down a taxi. Slayers never did.

****

The bus ride back was eventless, and Buffy found herself dozing most of the way. Faith fidgeted in the seat beside her, picking constantly at the seat in front of her, or tapping her foot against the floor.

"How much coffee did you have?" Buffy asked suddenly, watching with an amused smile as Faith jumped at her voice, then tried to look relaxed.

"What? Why?" she asked.

"You haven't stopped moving since we left."

"Sorry, I'm just a bit…" She dropped her head. "God damn it, B. I haven't seen the others since I tried to kill you all! They're not gonna to welcome me with open arms, you realize?"

Buffy nodded, swallowing hard. "I know."

"Will they even let me hang around? 'Cause I can't see it happening."

"They will," Buffy replied firmly.

"How do'ya know?"

"Because I'll make them."

Xander flipped the omelet over and slid it onto a plate, pushing it across to Dawn who accepted it hungrily.

"You know what, Xander?" she said, with a mouthful of food. "You and Anya should move in here. I swear you are the best cook!"

Xander beamed at the compliment. "Thanks, Dawnie."

Spike walked in the backdoor, the stench of smoke following him through. Dawn pinched her nose.

"God, Spike," Xander coughed. "Maybe you should've given up smoking when you gave up humans."

"Maybe you should have stopped eating when your shirts starting bursting at the seams," he replied snarkily. Xander opened his mouth to retort, but couldn't think of one, so he quickly shut his mouth.

"Now, boys, let's behave like men, shall we?" Willow said, walking in with Tara.

The doorbell rang and Dawn leapt off her stool to answer it. There was a moment of silence in the kitchen, which was pierced when they heard Dawn shout a few expletive words.

"Dawn!" Spike shouted.

"Spike!" replied a very familiar voice. "I told you I'd stake you if you taught Dawn swear words!"

The Scoobies in the kitchen recognized the voice instantly and hurried excitedly into the hallway. Dawn was staring at something behind Buffy.

"Buffy!" Xander exclaimed, "You're ba…"

He trailed off when Faith stepped through the door.

She smiled weakly. "Hey."

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**To Be Continued…**

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_Helpful reviews- and even not so helpful ones- are craved and thoroughly consumed._


	11. 11

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews!**_

_**Whispers:** The 'slayer vibe' will be explained soon, and trust me, I have a LOT planned for Faith in Sunnyhell._

_**lil badass:** I can't stand cliffhangers either, but I can't seem to stop writing them!_

_**Andi:** I have to beta my own work, so updates may be a little long in coming. But I fully intend to finish this!_

_**bones19: **I'm glad you love it, and I hope you haven't exhausted youself by reading it all in one go._

_**mygodI'mdrowning:** Don't worry too much about Faith being a softie... it's all part of the plan... ;)_

_**Hugo: **It's funny how a little smiley face can brighten my day. Thanks!_

_**Shelley:** Thanks, and I'm glad you love it!_

_**jazzman31:** Thank you! I love hearing what people think of my stories._

_**xSwayx:** Thanks!_

_**cheeruplittleemokid: **I'm glad you liked the cliffy, and can I just say that I love your user name?_

_**M Kennedy: **I hate cliffhangers too ;)._

__

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 11**

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Surprise was the most evident reaction among them, Buffy noticed, although disdain ran a close second. She had feared this, had known that the scorning insults would come soon, and that she would have to stand up for Faith, which meant opposing all her friends. It was not a scenario she was looking forward to. Walking through the doorway, she kissed Dawn and was startled when her sister threw her arms around her neck.

"Good to have you back," she said, and Buffy nodded.

Giles stepped forward and embraced her. "Yes. We've all missed you terribly."

Faith stepped inside, and everyone's attention was immediately returned to the brunette. The air seemed to turn cold and Buffy fidgeted uncomfortably. Straightening, she told her friends that Faith was staying with them. They did not argue like she expected them to, and simply murmured their assent. The two Slayers exchanged a look of confusion, but said nothing. Buffy led the brunette up their stairs, dropping her suitcase on her bedroom floor. She turned to Faith who hovered in the doorway.

"I can make a bed for you on the floor," she offered. "I would let you sleep on the couch, but I think Giles is staying there."

"That's fine, B."

They stood watching each other nervously, both uncertain where they stood and unsure of how to act. Circumstances had changed since they had stood in the same room together last; back then, Faith had been acting in an attempt to have her boyfriend turned evil and ultimately kill her. Now, it was with the haunted, hesitant indecisiveness of trying to redeem herself that Faith stood opposite her.

Buffy offered her a tight smile and slipped passed her into the hallway, leaving Faith alone in the bedroom. She sat down on Buffy's bed, lifting Mr Gordo and speaking softly to him:

"What happens now, huh?"

She got no reply and hugged the stuffed animal to her chest, before realizing what she was doing and hastily dropping it like it was a hot poker. Her soft, brown eyes hardened once more and she stood, fists clenched. Since when did she cuddle with stuffed toys? She scowled, wondering when she'd turned soft. Then she moved to follow the blonde, dreading the awkward days to come.

The coldness gave way to awkwardness, and the awkwardness gave way to wary acceptance of her presence. Faith was so terrified of being sent back to prison and losing Buffy that she covered her bad girl demeanour with a quiet, watchful façade. Instead of jumping at every chance to make someone squirm she said nothing. She didn't play on their weaknesses or embarrassments. She dutifully helped Buffy with the housework, sometimes walking Dawn to school and cooking dinner with the two wiccan lovebirds in the evenings. She was soon banned from the kitchen after her non-existent cooking skills were discovered. Who knew that chocolate sauce was not to be used on roasts? Giles visited often, and she couldn't decide whether to be glad or wistful that he only came to see Buffy. He refused to look her in the eye and although she knew she had earned his mistrust, she couldn't help but feel a bit angry that he was avoiding her.

Xander was the most opening hostile, but that was to be expected. She had played him, used him and discarded him as thought he was nothing more than a piece of trash, and she knew she deserved his dislike. Faith was determined to regain the friendship they'd had her first few months in Sunnydale. Anya was cold to her at first, but Faith suspected it had something to do with her having slept with Xander before she had, and soon enough the ex-demon and brunette Slayer found common ground. It was somewhat of a relief to find someone who didn't dance around topics, who wasn't afraid to say what was painfully obvious, even if the other's refused to speak about it. Faith came to yearn for the days when Anya and her could talk, when she could cut the bullshit for an hour or so.

But it was the nights she loved, and the nights she hated. She patrolled after dinner, covering with the excuse of needing time to herself and hoped the others believed she was out clubbing. She did it quickly and without enjoyment, as her mind was never on the job. It was with a certain blonde and the memories of the two of them slaying together. It was with the night that stretched in front of her; a night where she would lie on the floor and listen to Buffy's breathing and wish that she could slip into the bed with her...

Faith was fairly certain Buffy knew how she felt. She was surprised that the blonde hadn't kicked her to the curb already, and couldn't help but hope that maybe she felt something, however small. She couldn't help but believe that she wasn't completely disgusting, that she could have something that may make Buffy want her back. Buffy hadn't shown any signs of the emotions that churned through Faith, but the tiny hope wouldn't remain quiet.

A week had passed since her arrival with Faith in tow, and it was exactly seven days when Giles requested Buffy's presence in the living room after dinner. Then he dropped the bombshell on her.

"You're broke," Giles said, attempting to soften the blow with a gentle voice. It didn't work.

Buffy stared at him blankly, as though she couldn't comprehend what he meant.

"Broke?" she repeated dully, blinking rapidly as the force of what it meant crashed into her. After everything she'd been through, after nearly dying, losing her Slayer strength and embellishments, running away to LA and finding comfort in the same girl who had almost killed her... It was too much. She was broke. _Broke. _

"Broke," Dawn repeated, and Buffy wondered why her younger sister had known before she had.

"When did this happen?" her voice sounding small and detached.

"I received notification from the social services while you were in LA." His eyes flickered nervously away from her and she gripped the hand rest tighter.

"What else?"

He cleared his throat and caught her eye. "They're threatening to take Dawn away."

"That's not going to happen," she said, calmly and firmly.

"Look, Buffy..." he began.

"No," she repeated. "They are not taking her away." Looking up and meeting his eye, she asked: "What do I have to do?"

"I can cover for you for another month or so, but you may need to get a job."

"Then I'll get one."

"Where?" he asked. "You haven't got a degree..."

"What does that matter? I can get a job as a salesperson or something. It's not like I need a degree for that."

"I suppose..."

"It's settled then. I'll start searching for a job in the morning."

Faith listened from the hallway, wondering if this was what Buffy had been reduced to. She had once been a hero, but now she was only an ordinary woman who had a sister to care for and no money. Faith felt a quick rush of frustration and anger that had been building inside her ever since she'd come to Sunnydale. She clenched her fists, ignoring the sting of her nails piercing the skin on her palms. She had to control herself.

Bad things always happened when she didn't.

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**To Be Continued...**

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	12. 12

_The views on check-out chicks in this chapter in no way reflect my own. ;) Thanks to all those who reviewed, especially **Caren H, gij, Whispers jenni, Sketchie, the littlest psycho, Hugo, and cheeruplittleemokid. **_

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**Creed**

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**Chapter 12**

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Two days later, Buffy still hadn't found a reasonable job. Faith finally got sick of having the classifieds sprawled across tables and chairs, and decided to get out of the house. Sliding into a seat in the Bronze and ordering a straight scotch ten minutes later, a blue slip of paper taped to the wall caught her attention. The Bronze needed a bartender. It would be perfect for Buffy. She was already used to the late hours, and maybe the fun atmosphere would make her forget her troubles. She snatched the paper and hurried from the club, leaving the bartender baffled as he placed a glass of scotch before an empty seat.

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"It'd be perfect!"

Buffy looked at her, and then the flyer, and then back at her. She grinned. "A bartender, huh?"

"Better than a skanky check-out chick."

"What's better than a ...uh, skanky check-out chick?" Giles asked, wondering into the kitchen. He had half moved into the Summer's house, and although he slept at home he was there from morning until night.

"I found the perfect job for B," Faith said, handing him the flyer. He looked over it, and nodded. Faith thought his eyes darkened a bit, but it was gone before she could be sure.

"Well, I suppose she would be used to the hours..."

It was settled. Buffy left immediately to see if she could score an interview and insisted on dragging Faith along with her. Only Faith made it _seem _like she was being dragged. In truth, she couldn't be happier to follow the blonde wherever she went. Sometimes she felt disgusted in herself for becoming Buffy's lapdog, but at times like these when the blonde wanted to be around her Faith swallowed her pride.

Buffy was ushered into the office and had barely spoken a word before she was offered the job, and accepted gratefully. At least her monetary worries were quenched for a while. If only all her worries were as easily fixed...

She had her first shift that night, and Faith was going with her. She told herself it was only for support, but she couldn't help but feel safer when the brunette Slayer was around. She donned tight jeans and a slinky red top, pulling her hair back in a messy braid. She blushed when Faith wolf whistled at her reflection in the mirror.  
  
Buffy was actually looking forward to working. Being in a club and bar was going to be a lot more enjoyable than standing behind a cash register, and she knew without question that she and Faith would continue dancing after she finished her shift. Glancing at the clock, she saw that she only had ten minutes until her shift began, and hurrying down the stairs with Faith in tow she jumped into Giles' car. He watched them anxiously, and she didn't know if his worry was for them or the car.

The first hour of her new job was disastrous. She didn't know the names of all the alcohol, and struggled to find the correct bottle amongst the rows on the shelf. She was hopeless with money, and luckily one of her co workers showed her how to use to register so the amount of change came up instead of working it out in her head. Faith sat on the far side of the bar, offering her encouraging smiles and winks. Buffy was thankful that Faith didn't acknowledge her mistakes, and soon she began to get the hang of it.

All those years of working on her reflex and speed came into play, allowing her to juggle bottles and glasses, whipping them off the shelf and back again within seconds. Her boss nodded approvingly as the night wore on, and soon enough her shift ended. It was a little before three, and after collecting her pay she hit the dance floor with Faith. Her boss gave her a couple of drinks on the house for a successful first night and she ended up grinding against Faith like she did every time they went out.

Faith stiffened suddenly, and Buffy knew what it meant. Vampire. She nodded and stepped aside, given Faith permission to do what she had to do. Faith hesitated, her eyes flickering with something akin to reluctance, and then leapt into action. She weaved through the early morning dancers, following her senses. Buffy watched her go, but felt her eyes drawn to a large steel door that led into a back alley way. A tall man sat beside it, his skin deathly pale and his hair midnight black. He lifted a hand and pushed the greasy bangs behind his ear, shooting the girls chatting beside him a sultry grin. A prickly started down her neck.

Faith was suddenly by her side again, staring at her in wonderment.

"You felt him," she said simply, and Buffy nodded in response.

Faith's eyes lit up and she grabbed Buffy's hand, leading her toward to steel door. Faith leant back and whispered in her ear: "Play along," and nodding shortly in the vampire's direction. Buffy understood and swung her hips a little more as they walked past him. Her eyes flashed briefly toward him and the corner's of her lips curled upward in what she hoped look like an enticing smile.

Buffy pushed the door open and the two girls walked through, leaving it swinging behind in invitation. The night air was crisp and chilly, but Faith's arm slinked around Buffy's waist and warmed her. She played along, draping her arm across the brunette's shoulder. The vampire appeared before them, his eyes widening at their suggestive position.

"I had only planned one girl tonight, but I can make room for two," he said, moving toward them slyly. They waited until he was only a foot from them, and then Faith squeezed Buffy's hip tighter.

"Not tonight, buddy. We're off the menu," she replied. His smile faltered as confusion set in, and Faith shoved Buffy to the side, landing a forceful punch to the vamp's face. His head snapped back and he stumbled slightly. Faith quickly followed with a bruising kick to his midsection. Buffy clenched her fists, itching to kick the vamp's ass with Faith. It had been so long and she was feeling the restless urge she had always felt before slaying. Did this mean anything?

Faith made short work of him, but stopped before staking him. She turned around and grinned at Buffy, puffing slightly.

"Faith?" Buffy said, watching her nervously.

"He's all yours now, B," she replied, standing aside as the vampire rose to his feet. Buffy stared at her in horror, stepping back as the vampire glanced at Faith, and then at Buffy. He realized that he wasn't going to beat Faith and saw the blonde as the vulnerable link. He snarled and leapt towards her. A shrill shriek escaped her lips, and she dodged out of his way. He changed direction at the last moment and grabbed her wrist. Buffy felt something pull at the back of her mind and followed her instincts. She punched him square in the nose and his other fist flew up reflexively, striking her across the cheek. She flew backward and crashed into the wire fence, but she didn't care. She had sensed a vampire. She had listened to her instincts and hit a vampire. It was coming back to her.

"Buffy!"

She glanced up at her name and saw and the gang standing at the mouth of the alley. Faith noticed them to and quickly staked the vampire. Over to Buffy, she offered her hand and pulled the blonde to her feet.

"Giles? What's the gang doing here?" she asked.

"Your shift ended hours ago," Dawn said. "I didn't know where you were. I was scared..."

Giles watched as the girl he considered to be his daughter wiped at the trickle of blood on her lips. An intense fear struck him as he realized that she could get herself killed by holding onto the hope of getting her Slayer abilities back again. He knew it would hurt, but if he didn't make her understand that she was normal now she'd go out and die. And he couldn't allow that to happen.

"What in God's name did you think you were doing?" he barked, stalking forward.

"I was..."

"Slaying?" he yelled, and noticing her wince, softened his voice. "Buffy, you're not the Slayer anymore. You can't do what you used to."

"But I felt it," she insisted. "I felt it..."

He shook his head. "Your body doesn't understand that it can't do certain things anymore, so it's sending out signals that remind you of what you used to feel. I thought that this may happen, but I need you to understand it. What your feeling are just... leftovers."

Buffy swallowed hard, the harsh reality hurting more than she possibly thought it could.

Willow stepped forward, her face a mask of white anger. "What did you think you were doing, Faith?"

Faith gaped in confusion. "What?"

"You could have had her killed!" Xander cried, walking up behind Willow. "You just stood back and left her to defend for herself."

"I didn't," she replied calmly. "Giles is wrong. I felt her, too. She's getting her powers back..."

"No, Faith," Giles said, shaking his head. "She's not."

Buffy stood still as they continued to argue. Was this it then? She had thought she was feeling better only a moment ago, but maybe it _was_ only leftovers. Maybe it really was over. Her life as a Slayer...gone. She glanced up and met her Watcher's eyes, and saw that he regretted telling her this. He wanted to believe that the Slayer hadn't completely abandoned her. He only wanted her to be happy, and he had realized that by harbouring useless hopes she could never be happy. Buffy felt the last shred of hope dissipate, and finally understood what Giles was saying. She would never be truly happy if she kept holding onto her past. She needed to let it go, to come to terms that that part of her life was over.

She was pulled back into the present when Faith grabbed her arm.

"B, you felt it!" she persisted. "I did too. You are still the Slayer! If only you gave it a chance..."

Buffy pulled away from the brunette Slayer's grip. "It's over, Faith," she whispered, hating the way Faith's eyes widened in disbelief. "I came to you for help, but I can't be helped. I was stupid. It's over."

"B, it's not!" she said, begging Buffy to listen to her. But Buffy was sick of false hopes. She was sick of waiting. She was tired of living in limbo. She needed to start living again, living as a whole person. And that meant letting go of the past. Letting go of the Slayer.

At that moment, Buffy had never hated the girl in front of her more. She hated Faith for giving her hope. She hated Faith for being what she was no longer. She hated Faith for taking what had belonged to her. And she hated Faith because she had made Buffy like her.

"I think you need to go," Buffy said softly, dropping her eyes to the ground.

Faith watched her for a moment, the words dying on her lips. Stupidly, she had actually believed that her... feelings would be returned. Faith knew what happened when she let herself care. She got burned. And she hated getting burned.

Her face became a blank mask, and a predatory smile spread across her lips. She slowly moved towards Buffy. "Fine. I'll go patrolling and do some _real_ slaying. Look what you've come to, B. How pathetic. I always knew I was destined for great things. I was always gonna be better than you. I _am_ better than you, Buffy." She leaned in close, and whispered in Buffy's ear. "Does it _burn?_"

Then she laughed and slid away, burying her pain as the darkness engulfed her.

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**To Be Continued...**

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	13. 13

_A huge thanks to **wicked-obsession** (formerly known as lil badass ;) ), **Caren H, mythic-lionheart, Ferro, allie **(Have you been looking over my notes?), **Whispers, Hugo **and** fai** (Thank you. I love long reviews and yours made my day!). Extra cookies for all of you!_

_I've had a little crisis mid-plot, which basically means I've changed what happens over the next five chapters. Thus I have to re-write a lot of parts and spruce it all up, so updates may be a little slow in coming. Hopefully you'll get one every fortnight, but if not then I'll make it up to you with a double post. And that wasn't a bribe. Onto the story…_

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**Creed**

**Chapter 13**

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The gang was silent as they walked slowly back to the Summers' house.Xander squeezed Buffy's shoulder and then pulled her to his chest in a firm embrace. They stayed like that for a moment, until Xander stepped back and tried to catch her eye. Buffy didn't meet his gaze though, and he nodded, stepped back and left with Anya in tow. Willow and Tara headed upstairs after assuring themselves that Buffy would be okay for the night.

Buffy ignored their sympathetic looks and well-wishing words. She knew they all wanted to apologise and say they were sorry… but for what? They didn't know how she felt. They didn't understand. So they kept quiet and shot small, anxious glances at her.

Buffy mounted the stairs and locked herself in her room. She looked at the empty, unmade bed on the floor, and perched on the edge of her own bed. That was when she noticed that Faith's overnight bag was missing. Striding to her closet, Buffy wrenched the doors open and saw that Faith's clothes were gone too. Buffy hurried to the bathroom, and the brunette's toothbrush and toiletries weren't there. Everything she had bought for Faith after their return from L.A was gone.

Faith had gone.

The next week dragged slowly. She worked at the Bronze for five hours before lunch, then came home for a few hours before heading back again for the night shift. Giles had made her promise to never leave the building unless Xander or himself was there to walk her home after the night shift, and she hated how helpless and vulnerable it made her feel. Willow and Tara went to classes early and came home just as she was leaving for her night shift, so they didn't get to spend much time together. Buffy didn't like the way they were growing apart, but Willow had Tara now, and with her ever-budding magic she didn't need to rely on Buffy as she used to.

Xander and Anya had announced their engagement and a small party followed. Buffy tried to be excited for them, but her congratulations were flat and her smiles were empty. She kept waiting for Anya to yell out Faith's name and follow it with, "You got him first, but I get him forever!" She waited for Willow to complain about Faith being in the kitchen, and she half expected Giles to scold Faith for turning the music up too loud. Dawn looked happy though, and it was only the smile on her younger sister's face that prevented her from fleeing the imposing walls of her home.

She went to work and got paid, but she never seemed to see any signs of where it went after she handed it to Giles. There was nothing different about the house- except for the food in the cupboards- and none of the things that needed fixing were fixed. Giles brushed aside her worries, ensuring her that the bills were slowly being paid off and that social security was content for now. Any doubts about working such long hours were dismissed as soon as she thought of living without Dawn. There were many ways to punish her, but Buffy didn't think any would be as painful as losing her beloved sister.

Xander had become her rock; he was there telling jokes when she needed a good laugh; he was there to baby-sit Dawn when she needed some time away from the house; he was there when she couldn't open the jar of salsa. He visited her at work during the lunch hour and helped her get through the long hours. She always glanced at the door at exactly seven past one and found him strolling through the door, and she would place a beer on the counter before he even got to his seat. Buffy didn't think she would have gotten through the week if Xander hadn't been there. Without Faith, there was no one else who could comfort her.

When the week rolled to an end and Buffy had had a difficult day at the Bronze, she arrived home to an empty house. She wearily trudged up to her bedroom and found that her pot plant had died. Sighing, she threw it out and left the empty vase on her bedside table. She grabbed her pillow and hugged it tightly to her chest, searching the room with her eyes for Mr Gordo. He was nowhere to be found and she sat up, frowning. That was when she saw him, tucked beneath the edge of Faith's blanket. She hadn't bothered to clean up Faith's bed before now, hoping that she would return. But Faith hadn't. Buffy picked it up and stared at it, releasing the pillow and clutching the stuffed pig instead. Without knowing it, Buffy was sitting in the exact same position Faith had after their arrival.

Mr Gordo gave off the same zesty, citrus scent that Faith wore.

Buffy stood up and walked out of the house. She walked for what seemed like hours, and didn't care where she went or how she got there. She was only aware of Faith's words flashing through her mind. _I was always gonna be better then you… I am better than you… Does it burn?_

Buffy remembered their first meeting in the jail. She recalled their night in the bathroom in the dingy motel. She thought of their night of dancing- and drinking- at the club. She remembered the feeling of contentment at the Hyperion; chatting to Cordelia about the latest case or fashion trend, attempting to lure Fred from her reclusive state, and hanging with Angel and his gang when they weren't working.

But most of all, she thought of Faith.

Buffy tripped over the uneven pavement, and shook herself from her dazed state. Finally taking notice of her surroundings, she realized that she stood in front of the Bronze. The sign flashed lazily, flickering every few moments or so, and the thumping beat of music drifted into the night. She was reminded of the club in LA and briefly closed her eyes, remembering the intoxicating rhythm and sensation of closely, compacted bodies. She remembered the happy, carefree way she had felt after a few drinks, and then the numbness that followed. The few hours between leaving the club and arriving at the Hyperion where she hadn't felt empty; where she had forgotten about Glory; where she wasn't searching for the part of her that she'd lost. Jutting her chin out defiantly Buffy crossed the street. She needed a drink.

"About to hit it pretty hard, are we pet?"

Buffy stopped and sighed, her shoulders visibly dropping as she turned to face him.

"Spike."

"Buffy." Her name sounded strange coming from his lips. Surprisingly, she found she missed his usual drawled "Slayer".

"Haven't seen you around lately," she noted aloud.

"Went into hiding. Some G'hask heard I offed his boys," he replied, surprising her.

"Really?"

"You actually care?"

"Good point. What do you want?" she asked, not having the strength to begin a fight.

"Was coming for a drink myself."

"And?"

"Well, unless you want to drown your sorrows alone how 'bout we hit the grog together?" he repeated, and Buffy shrugged.

They strode towards the club together, heading for the back entrance like they always did. They were suddenly accosted by two dark shadows, whose yellow eyes pierced the shadows. Buffy leapt back in surprise, while Spike effortlessly pulled out a stake and dispatched the both of them. He heard a soft sob from behind him.

"I just…want it to stop," Buffy whispered, slumping against the wall of the club. "The others want me to be normal, to get a proper job. Nine to five, day in, day out. I was broke, you know?" She glanced up and laughed bitterly when she saw his unsurprised face. "Of course you do. Everyone around here knew except me. But they want me to move on… live like I should have been living. I can't go back, though. I complained about it and I hated it, but I can't go back. I can't go back to being a normal girl. Because that isn't me anymore and…and…"

She trailed off as she realized that she was pouring her heart out to Spike. Spike, of all people. He remained still, watching her, reading her. He didn't make her feel guilty. He didn't make her feel uncomfortable.

"What made you like me?" she asked suddenly.

A look of surprise flickered across his face and he opened his mouth before quickly closing it again. "I thought you were easy on the eyes, luv. Even when I wasn't buggered by the chip I appreciated a good looking bird. And you got spunk, and you're fierce and powerful… witty. When you fight you become even more beautiful, because you're dancing and you're…"

"The Slayer," she finished for him. "You liked me because I was the Slayer. The gang stood by me because I was the Slayer. What happens now? Will you start to like Faith? Will the gang become Faith's gang?"

Spike took three long strides toward her and gripped her arms painfully hard. "No," he replied through gritted teeth. "No, because you're still you…"

Buffy shook her head sadly, and extracted herself from his grip. "But I'm not. Without the Slayer, I'm not me. I'm half a person. And I can't live like that."

Spike studied her, and she was grateful that he didn't interrupt.

"The others don't realize. Faith did. And I told her to leave."

"What do you want, Buffy?" he asked gently, lifting her chin so she looked into his blue eyes.

"I want… to be me."

She pulled away from him. Glancing at Spike's uncertain face Buffy knew she wouldn't find what she needed here. She turned and walked away, swallowing the screams that caught in her throat.

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**To Be Continued…**

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_Remember to review, and my motivation to write may magically increase... _


	14. 14

**_Yes, I know this is late, but my beta reader hit me over the head with a stick and told me to read over it again. When I did I deleted pretty much the entire thing and re-wrote it. Trust me, it's all the better for it. This will be the last chapter I post this year, as I'm going on a holiday for the next three weeks. So Merry Christmas to all my readers and I hope you have a Happy New Year!_**

**_Until next year..._**

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**Creed**

**Chapter 14**

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Spike leant against the tree outside the house, and raised the cigarette to his lips. As smoke circled into the sky he watched the silhouettes walking around the living room behind the drawn curtains. He knew exactly what they were doing. They were holding a Scooby meeting without Scooby Doo. Buffy had left the house an hour ago for work, and they were deciding what to do- what to do about her.

He hated what his Slayer had become. Spike watched her more closely than he had when he was stalking her, only now he could watch her from a more advantageous view point. Since Buffy's reprieve in L.A, Giles had actually allowed him to take Dawn out some nights. "Out" was rigid with limitations and boundaries, but at least the poor girl was able to leave the house. A concentrated fear had started to gnaw at his chest, a fear that Buffy was slowly drawing more and more into herself. That she would decide she'd had enough of trying. That she'd had enough of fighting. That she would give up. Spike hated what had happened to her. She had changed. He had never actually thought of what being the Slayer did to her. It was being the Slayer that gave her the fire he loved. It was being the Slayer that made her the woman he loved.

She wasn't his "Slayer" anymore. But apparently he could still distinguish her scent from a thousand others.

"The 'What-to-do-with-Buffy' meeting is still going?"

He didn't smile at her joke. "Apparently. Aren't you meant to be working?"

She looked up at the living room window. "It was a slow night. They didn't need me."

Spike motioned to the window as he ground the cigarette butt beneath his foot. "You gonna storm the party?" He felt her gaze on him instantly.

"Why should I? They look like they're enjoying themselves."

"You think they're having a good ol' time in there? They're lost, pet. They have no idea what to do."

"Okay…" Her face was stony as she walked toward the door. "Later."

Spike mentally kicked himself for pushing her. He lifted his hand to call her back, but he could see the stiff set shoulders and the stubborn walk. He let his hand drop to his side, and watched as she strode into the house. He waited for her dark shadow to join the others in the living room, but she didn't appear and the gang continued their discussion. Realizing with a start that Buffy had snuck upstairs, Spike glanced above towards her window. Sure enough the light flicked on. He only hesitated for a minute before lifting himself into the tree and peering through the slightly parted curtains. He may be fighting for the white hats now, but he wasn't above spying.

Buffy sat on her bed, staring directly ahead of her. Her head suddenly fell forward, and her shoulders slumped. A small, dark piece of material poked out from behind her bed, and he realized what Buffy was looking at. Faith's makeshift bed.

The truth hit Spike with such force that he almost cursed aloud. He fell back against the rough branch supporting his back, and his gaze slowly lowered to the trampled grass ten feet below. His chest suddenly constricted and felt tight, as thought his skin was stretched too thin. Without sparing a glance at the window he let himself slip from his crouch in the tree. When he landed heavily on the soft earth he knew without a doubt that the painful pounding in his chest was the agony of his heart breaking.

Spike had always known that Buffy's love was something he may never possess. Her absolute abhorrence for him had slowly turned into an uneasy alliance, and over the last few months it had turned into something akin to reliance. She had trusted him with Dawn, spoken to him without scorn, and ultimately let him become a part of her life. He had never been one to throw hope to the wind and despair, but neither had he been one to accept things as they were. Everything kept changing and he had held onto that one belief and hoped that some day Buffy could return his love.

But now that hope had shattered, and as he fumbled to light a cigarette he tried to work through the numbing haze that had settled over him. As he took a furious drag on the butt of his smoke Spike lifted his eyes to the window on the second floor. A shadow moved past the square of light and heavy curtains were drawn, leaving him to stare into darkness. He waited until the faint light that peered past the edge of the blinds disappeared, and then turned and slammed his fist into the tree.

As the nicotine settled his nerves and the quiet of the night prevented him from venting his anger, Spike slowly came to realize that finality of what Buffy had just shown him. Buffy didn't love him, and likely never would. After a year of trying to prove himself and attempting to make Buffy admit she had feelings for him, the demise of his hope brought not only physical pain, anger and a fearful uncertainty, but also a strange sense of relief. Confusion overwhelmed him as he recognized this relief. He had wanted, dreamed of and breathed this woman for more than a year, but the feeling was undeniable.

As he came understand that his love would always be unrequited he knew the relief he felt was due to knowing that he could still survive without her. He had been afraid that his reason for existing rested solely with her, and yet he was still standing and thinking rationally. Surprisingly, he had no intention of throwing himself on a sharp, pointy branch.

The rejection hurt though. It cut through him and brought more agony than any of Angelus' bursts of creativity had ever caused. There was only a slight thread of sanity that prevented him from welcoming the sun the next morning. But for some reason, he wasn't falling apart.

Somewhere during the last few months he had found something more important to live for than a woman's love. He would never admit it aloud even under torture, but he was ever-so-slightly proud what he had accomplished over the summer. He had taken it upon himself to resume Buffy's patrols and was holding his own well enough. Dawn was handling her sister's slow withdrawal and depression as mature as was possible for a fifteen year old. And despite himself, he found he enjoyed their time together. Even Xander had made an effort by sharing his popcorn with Spike one night after dropping Dawn home.

But Spike felt a surge of jealousy that he would never kiss Buffy when he walked into the Summer's home each day. He wouldn't be able to slay by her side and anticipate what would happen when they both went back to his crypt for the night. She would not glance at him with the same complete and utter longing that filled her face when Angel had been around. She could never belong to him, because she loved another. Spike would need to get used to seeing her with another person every day if he decided to stick around. Although he played with the idea of leaving, Spike had never been able to stay away for too long. So he pushed aside that though, and concentrated on how he would handle seeing the woman he loved with another person.

In that one moment when he had seen the devastation on Buffy's face as she gazed at the mattress on the floor, Spike realized that not only did she not love him, but she loved another. Buffy loved Faith. The thought spun through his mind, but each time he repeated it the idea sounded even crazier than before. But everything pointed towards the truth, and despite his best efforts to prove it incorrect Spike could not rationalize it. Buffy loved Faith, and as the truth sunk in he felt all his anger drain away. He had no hope left.

Spike had known that they were two halves of one whole the very first time he had seen them slay together. They were black and white, ying and yang; whichever it was that made them two separate entities born of one purpose. He remembered the perfectly synchronized dancing as they slew a dozen vampires. Faith had fought with a desperate urgency, fierce but wild and uncontrolled in her movements. Buffy had quipped lightly, a pretense that hid her refined, graceful and fatal agility. When placed back to back they were an unassailable force that even made _him_ shiver.

Grinding the cigarette butt to a pulp beneath his foot, Spike hesitated only briefly before lighting up another. The thought of Buffy and Faith together made him feel frustrated, confused and stupid. He recalled the prime excuse Buffy had used for her reasons not to love him, and that was his lack of soul and his past of murder and killing. He knew she didn't believe he could control himself without the morals that came with a soul, but he hadn't killed in a long time. Faith, on the other hand, had killed _with_ a soul.

Why had Buffy forgiven Faith and not him? He knew Faith had murdered a man, lied to Buffy and the stuffy new Watcher about it, betrayed her friends and tried to kill Buffy's then boyfriend. When the brunette Slayer had woken from her coma she'd stolen Buffy's body, tricked her family and friends and slept with Buffy's boyfriend. Spike's past with Buffy included failed attempts to kill her, but he had never messed with her life the way Faith had. Faith had used a dangerous edge against Buffy; Faith had cunningly used the people that kept Buffy alive. Yet Buffy had still allowed the brunette renegade to worm her way into Buffy's heart.

As he stemmed the urge to crush the cigarette in his fist Spike was struck with another thought: when had Buffy switched teams? He tried to think back over the last months, and years even, searching for any signs or hints that Buffy's preference had moved to women. Buffy usually went after the big, strong type of guys, a sure sign that she needed a man who could handle her lot. Although, Spike thought wryly, that she had dated Angel at all should have alerted him to her feminine penchant.

Minutes passed, and as Spike grappled with what he should do, the idea of Buffy and Faith gradually came to make sense. Faith was the only one who understood Buffy. Spike could keep pretending that he new the darkness inside her, but only Faith would completely know the depth and truth of who Buffy is and what her purpose is. They were linked in ways Spike couldn't begin to comprehend, and he saw that it was only a matter of time before the two Slayers found something within the other that no one else could possibly possess.

Spike noticed the torn, bloody skin on his fist and twisted his head around. There was a deep hollow in the trunk of the tree, and the bark hung limply where his fist had collided with it. He let the smoke slip from his fingers and stormed down the lawn, swearing softly until he was a couple of blocks away. A dark figure slinked around the corner and only just managed to prevent walking right into Spike by sidestepping with a speed that gave away much information. Feeling a surge of irrepressible anger Spike screamed curses at the figure and slammed his fist into the shadowed face. The vampire's head snapped back and it tumbled to the pavement. The dead creature who had once been a seventeen year old boy knew fear when it saw the rage in the blue eyes that glared through the darkness. He didn't bother to scream or fight back, because he knew there was no chance he would escape. The blows seemed like they would never stop, as fist after fist slammed into the side of his head. When the stake eventually came, it was meet with relief.

Spike stood alone on the corner, shaking with rage and clenching the stake so hard that splinters pierced his skin. And then suddenly, it seemed as if all anger left him. The stake slipped from his fingers and clattered loudly on the pavement. His fists clenched then slackened, and his shoulders drooped forward, as though his energy was spent. Exhausted from the onslaught of emotions and revelations, Spike finally allowed himself to think objectively of the thought that caused his barbaric act against the vampire.

Did he love Buffy enough to give her happiness, if it meant she would never love him back? He struggled with the idea. Spike didn't know if he could give up on her, but a part of him was slowly overruling his selfishness. Once, even last year, he would have ignored her unhappiness and pretended she loved him. These days he knew that he couldn't do it. He didn't need a soul to tell him what he had to do. He already knew.

Spike pivoted on his left foot and stormed back towards the house. His footsteps were silent as he made his way onto the porch. He pushed the back door open with every intention of joining the gang in the living room, but he hesitated when he saw Giles pick up the phone in the hallway. When he heard the name murmured by the Watcher, Spike lifted the kitchen phone gently from its cradle and listened to the conversation.

Giles' voice was hushed. "I'm worried about her."

"Which one?" Angel asked.

"The both of them."

Angel paused for a moment. "What happened?"

"She almost got Buffy killed, Angel. I couldn't stand by and let her hair-brained idea drive Buffy to her death. I got angry, and she left. I need to know if she's okay. Have you seen her?"

"I've seen her," Angel said. His voice was terse and Spike could tell that he was frustrated. "She's…"

"She's what?" Giles pressed.

"She was getting better, Giles. Don't you understand that? Buffy was helping her move on from her past, and now you've sent her away. Do you remember what she was like when she first appeared in Sunnydale?"

Giles drew in a sharp breath. "No, she's not…"

"She is," Angel cut him off. "She's killed almost everything in this town. Vampires, demons… even harmless ones. And she enjoys it."

Silence fell.

"Can you do anything?" Giles' voice was soft and defeated.

"I can't." Angel murmured. "But Buffy can."

"How can Buffy help her? From what I've seen, Faith would rather see Buffy dead than let her help."

"Then open your eyes, old man," Angel snarled into the phone. "As someone who considers himself a Watcher, you've missed the one thing that's going to save both of your Slayers."

The line went dead.

Spike was still holding the phone to his ear when Giles walked into the kitchen. He stopped short, caught by surprise, but then the Watcher sank onto the stool and covered his face with his hands. Spike gently replaced the phone and stared at the weathered old man. Then he began to talk.

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**To Be Continued…**


	15. 15

**_Here we are again... New year and a brand spanking new chapter. Enjoy! (and don't forget to review!)_**

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**Creed**

**Chapter 15**

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Faith was fired up tonight, and the helpless vampire never had a chance. She pounded him without mercy, laying her blows with all her anger, pain and misery. Her vision clouded and she gritted her teeth to prevent her eyes from watering. The threat of tears only fuelled her fire, and she reached for the stake in her waistband. She would not cry. She never cried. As she slammed her fist into the vampire's face angrily, Faith's eyes hardened and once again became blank voids. The vampire shivered when he looked into them before he passed out from the pain, and seconds later she staked him. She was left standing alone in the cemetery, panting from the exertion. The dust settled at her feet and she madly searched for others she could vent her rage on. Slaying was her therapy, and at the moment she needed a lot of it.

She had felt it. She was so damned sure she had felt it that day, almost two weeks ago now. It wasn't leftovers, or whatever Giles thought it was. It was her. Buffy. The Slayer. She had been coming back, and then they took it all away from her again. As much as she wanted to blame it on Giles and the Scoobies, she knew she couldn't. Her time in jail had made her grow up more than she'd realized. She truly understood what they were trying to do. She'd do it too, if it meant Buffy would be happy. But Faith knew it wouldn't, and nothing she could say would make them see it otherwise.

It hadn't been her argument with Giles and the others that had hurt, though. It had been Buffy's refusal to meet her eyes when she told Faith to go. She had given up, and God it hurt. It hurt because the woman she loved didn't want her around. Faith loved a woman who hated her.

Her foot slammed into a gravestone, and the stone crumbled to pieces.

Hearing a slight rustle behind her, Faith clenched her stake tightly and then slipped it into her jacket. The demon didn't get within four feet from her when she kicked up a slab of stone, caught it in her hand and hurled it behind her. It snapped the demon's head back with a sickening crunch, and before it could recover Faith was upon it, whaling her fists on its thick hide. The demon's skin split and bruised beneath her blows, but all she could see was the defeated emptiness in Buffy's eyes.

She didn't notice the demon was limp and unmoving beneath her until she stepped back to flex her cut knuckles. A surge of self-disgust and helplessness overcame her, and as her throat constricted she pulled out her knife and quickly sliced it across the demon's throat, putting it out of its painful misery. Faith dragged the demon corpse into a musty mausoleum, and when she was back outside with the heavy door slamming shut behind her Faith felt a pang of loneliness.

The night was silent. Heavy clouds blocked out the moon and the stars, and a sharp wind whipped her clothes against her skin. It felt as though the cemetery wasn't a part of her world, and neither was she.

She needed to get out of the cemetery. She quickly made her way to the fence, and it wasn't until she had vaulted over it that the suffocating sensation left her. When she rounded the corner the world came rushing back, as Los Angeles' nightlife assaulted her in a fusion of neon lights, thumping music, and the blare of horns, shrieks and dogs barking.

Faith needed a drink.

It had been nearly two weeks since Buffy had told her to leave, and the memories still hurt like hell. She had headed straight for the Summers' house, packed her things and hightailed it out of there before Buffy got home. She had hesitated when she came to actually leaving Buffy's room. It had been the closest thing she'd had to an actual home in years, and again she had been forced out. After a few bus trips and with the last of her dollars spent on a motel that reminded her of the dump she had stayed in during her first few months in Sunnydale, Faith found herself alone, bored and desperately wishing she could at least call Buffy and hear her voice.

Making her way to a dilapidated demon bar on the outskirts of town, Faith couldn't wait to feel the burn of vodka down her throat. She slipped past the hefty, spiky-skinned bouncer who let her pass with a quick step back and headed straight for the bar. She shoved her way through the crowd and ordered a vodka shot. Three shots later she was beginning to feel a little better but she was far from drunk.

"So when did getting drunk become the in-thing to do?" Spike asked, sliding into the seat next to her. "'Cause I wish someone had told me about it years ago so I wouldn't be drinking by myself."

"You're a century old, grandpa," she replied. "You've never been in the loop."

He smirked and motioned for a drink. The bartender handed it to him and he finished it in one gulp.

Faith threw her head back and downed another drink, then turned to the vampire beside her. "So what're you doing in these parts?"

"A little birdy told me you were dryin' up his business," he answered.

Faith smirked. "How's the big guy doing?"

"You know Angel." Spike shrugged. "Cries over his bad luck, finds demon, kills demon, and cries some more."

"And he actually heard your voice without dropping his life to play Prince Charming and rescue his love?"

"Nah, he didn't speak to me." He grinned. "What was he going to do anyway, luv? Run down to Sunnyhell and glare me to death with his puppy eyes? No. Giles called him to find out if you were here and I was listening on the other phone."

Faith snorted. "And here I was thinking you were the new and improved Spike."

He smirked. "What can I say, pet? I've been bad for too long."

Her lips twitched at his words. "So… Why was the Watcher calling Angel anyway?"

Spike tried to chose his words carefully, but he'd never been one for tact or subtleness. "He was checking up on you, luv."

"Why the hell would he? He kicks me out of town and then decides to play daddy again?"

"Right then. I'm gonna give you a little look into the minds of these buggering idiots. They say one thing and mean another. They do things they don't really want to do, and never do the things they _do_ want to. They get high on trying to make things better and never sit back and say 'shit happens, so I'm just gonna live with it'. They want their lives to be so soddin' perfect that they don't see the good things right in front of 'em."

Faith stared at him, wondering who had killed the annoying vampire she knew and placed an insightful psychologist into his body.

He threw up his hands in disgust. "Pet, do you need me to hold up a sign explaining it to you? The Watcher didn't want you gone; he just wanted Buffy to be able to move on. Buffy doesn't want you gone; but that bint's so lost she wouldn't know what she wants. The others… Well, what do you expect? It's Willow and Xander and we're not talking miracles here." He took a breath. "But the important thing here is Buffy didn't want you to leave."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Then why did she let me?"

Spike opened his mouth, but for once, words failed him and he had nothing to say. They both nodded when the bartender dropped two beers in front of them. Silence fell as they gulped the drinks, making both of them uncomfortable.

"So why're you here?"

"I don't usually do this, buggering in people's lives," he said, throwing his hands out for emphasis. "But Giles sent me here 'cause Buffy needs you. The way she's acting these days she may as well be six feet under." He seemed to slump forward. "You two are twisted."

"Us two?" Faith asked, already knowing the answer.

"You and the Slayer. I mean… Buffy." He shook his head. "She ain't the same, is she?"

Faith snorted, but said nothing.

"I loved her, you know," he said suddenly. She glanced at him in surprise, but he plundered on before she could say anything. "They told me I didn't, that I couldn't. But she believed in me."

"She's like that," Faith murmured.

Spike nodded. "She thought I was a man. She _saw_ me as a man, and for that, I'll always love her. But she doesn't love me."

Faith lifted the glass to her lips and swallowed quickly. "Seems to be a common thing round here. Love the Slayer and get shut down."

"'M not blind, Faith. I see it."

Faith raised her eyebrows. "Yeah? I'm not trying to hide it."

"Guess we're playing against each other, huh?" He played with the empty glass. "Who would've thought a guy like meand a Slayer would be chasing the same bint? Seems we're always on different sides."

"Well there's not much competition from this side." Faith muttered. "She wanted me gone and that's what I'm doing. Couldn't stand being back in Sunnyhell anyway."

"Gonna just give up? Mate, I heard stories about you, and none of them said you were this gutless."

Faith lifted her head and stared at Spike, and he shivered from the stark emptiness in them. "Then you haven't heard the one where Buffy slid a knife into my gut." Her chair scraped as she pushed away from the counter. She dug her hands in her pockets and they came out empty. She dropped her eyes for the briefest of moments, but it was enough for Spike to see the misery in her face. He pulled out a ten dollar note and dropped it onto the counter.

She turned to walk away, but Spike was suddenly seized by the memory of Buffy's face as she sat on her bed. He leapt off the stool and followed her out the door.

"Faith," he called out, but she was already gone.

The next night Faith entered the cemetery with fresh vigour and a need to kill. The cool air kissed her skin, and as she carefully watched the graves and peered at the stars above her she heard the dull echoing thump of music wafting from a nearby club.She strode confidently in between the fresh graves, determined not to think of Buffy or anything else, but just to enjoy the freedom she had while waiting for the tell-tale shift of soil. It came only a minute later, and a hand popped out from the mound of dirt. She gripped it and hauled the newly risen vampire to his feet.

"Welcome back," she said.

He frowned, cocking his head slightly. "Huh?"

His eyes widened in surprise as he glanced down and saw the stake protruding from his heart. His mouth formed a small 'o' and he exploded into dust, leaving Faith twirling the stake in her fingers. "Or not."

She walked through the remains of the vampire settling back on the empty grave and inhaled the aroma of roasting turkey that wafted from a restaurant a street away. What she wouldn't give for a proper meal, a meal like the ones Joyce used to cook for her. But Joyce was dead, and Faith frowned in wistful memory. The older woman had been everything she had ever wanted; a caring, loving mother who actually gave a damn about her daughter. The only problem had been that Faith wasn't her daughter- Buffy was. It had been that fact that had pushed her to threaten Joyce and the kid. Faith hastily pushed the memory aside while silently apologising to Joyce, who she had affectionately named "Mrs. S".

She wondered what Joyce thought of her now. If Joyce was even watching over her, that is. With a sudden pang of determination, Faith decided she wanted to be back in Sunnydale. She had always been known as a headstrong, impulsive and stubborn girl, but usually that referred to her slaying and waywardness. And since when had Faith ever cared what others thought of her? The only people whose opinion mattered were the people she loved.

And Faith loved Buffy.

Something clicked inside her. The first time she had been in Sunnydale she'd been wild and out of control. The next time after she'd woken up she'd been completely confused, terrified and alone. And when Buffy had brought her back from L.A she'd been desperate to stay out of jail and determined to become the good young woman she thought the others wanted her to be. This time, she'd go back as herself. She'd go back and tell it like it was, open their eyes to who she was and make them accept her. She refused to settle for less.

With a blaze of resolve Faith headed for the main street with only one thing on her mind: she was going to get her girl back.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	16. 16

**EDIT: No update- I'm just fixing a few mistakes my wonderful beta Rylee picked out.**

_**I know a huge apology is due for the horrendous delay, but I do have excuses... Many excuses actually, but I don't want to bore you. **_

_**I had a few interesting reviews in response to the last chapter, so I'll do an individual answer to each reviewer.**_

**_wicked-obsession, unseen-eyes, mythic-lionheart__- Thank you for your encouragement! _**

**_rma-__ I don't think I was writing Buffy as a stuck-up brat strutting on moral-highground, but you've made me look twice and I've decided to alter some things. And Faith will not be running back to "Sunnydale with her tail tucked between her legs". I promise._**

**_gij-__ It's funny you wrote about Spike being the "good guy", because... Well, you better read this chapter, 'coz then you'll see it to. :)_**

**_Wolfmon-__ Thank you! I'm glad to see new reviewers taking the time to read my story._**

**Creed**

**Chapter 16**

Buffy strolled along the footpath and forced herself to ignore the cemetery as she passed. Old habits died hard, and every time she went by a cemetery she would involuntarily take a step towards it before remembering that she no longer had any reason to. She kept her head down and walked a little faster, pushing away the niggling feeling at the base of her head. The quicker she got home, the quicker she could sleep and claim reprieve from the emptiness that filled her days. It was the only thing she looked forward to now.

She heard giggling and saw a group of young girls round the corner ahead of her. After a quick study she thought they might be around Dawn's age. They were dressed for a party and were playfully trading insults about someone's boyfriend. Buffy wondered whether she should warn them or tell them to make it to the party before the sun set, but they were laughing. Their faces were unlined by premature responsibility and grief. They were living a life without fear, a life free of pain.

She closed her mouth and let them pass.

Buffy had long ago ceased wondering what her life would be like had she not been chosen. Chosen to be the slayer; chosen to kill; chosen to die. When she was sixteen all she had dreamt about was a life without vampires and demons and creatures of the night. After turning seventeen she had finally understood that there was no point to her ponderings and dreams. Then, when she was eighteen, she had given up those dreams and thrown herself headfirst and bitterly into her only life. Being in university had given her a fresh perspective on things and she hadn't minded slaying after studying. And now, when her sixteen-year-old dreams were finally realized, she wanted nothing more than to give them back.

It never ceased to amaze her how much irony ruled her existence. With a grim smile on her lips Buffy glanced to the darkening sky and shook her head. The air felt chilled and she pulled her thin jacket tighter across her chest. She didn't see the upraised section of the path, and her toe collided with it. Her body pitched forward and she threw out her arms to grasp onto something. Her fingers closed around empty air and she hit the ground with a heavy thud. Her palms were grazed and her knees were going to bruise. The sound of giggling reached her and she knew the group of young girls had witnessed her fall.

Buffy shut her eyes and pursed her lips, determined not to let the tears fall. She felt hysterical laughter bubbling inside her. _Oh, how the mighty fall, _she thought. Once, vampires and fearsome creatures had quailed before her. Now, she lay in the dirt, laughed at by ignorant teenagers who would probably be drained dry before the night ended. A noise escaped her throat, something between a sob and laughter. What the hell had she been reduced to?

She was normal, and she hated it.

Buffy physically ached all the time now. Her energy levels dropped with every missed meal, whereas before she could run on empty and still retain her strength and concentration. She felt tired after five hours of work, and fell asleep every chance she got. She worked out in the basement or behind the magic shop and felt sore and stiff a day or two later. She went for runs and came home hurting and out of breath. Her body had become weak and frail. And Buffy was tired. She was always tired. She was tired mentally, physically and emotionally. She couldn't focus, she couldn't vent her frustrations through physical exertion, and she no longer had the energy to feel.

She pushed herself to her knees and dusted off her top. As she rose to her feet she picked up her bag and continued to walk down the street, forgetting about the giggling girls going in the opposite direction. The monotone beat of her footsteps on the pavement rang through her head and she counted them. One after another they resounded in the quiet dusk, until she reached her house. She stood for a moment, looking up at the daunting building.

When had her life become such a blend of boredom and repeats? It was all the same. It was always the same. Everyday, in and out, she was alone, uninterested and lacking something. There was no living on the edge. She didn't have the belief that each day could be her last, each conversation with her friends and family could be the last, and each moment she lived was no longer another moment she cherished. Lying in bed last night, in the haze of dozing, a thought had struck her.

Did she wish she had died that night on the tower? Did she wish she had taken her last breath, instead of living on in the state she was now? Buffy has never before entertained such dismal thoughts, but now the aching emptiness had consumed her and she couldn't feel the strength to fight on. She had always had some sort of back up, something that would remind her of who she was what she fought for. Now, there was nothing.

Buffy shook herself from her reverie and took a step forward, but a sharp prickling down her spine shocked her into action. She dipped low and dived into the shrubs that rested against the fence, holding her breath. And in that moment, Buffy felt a fear and hope so intense that she knew she would never be the same after it passed. The brief seconds that it took for her heart to skip a beat and her throat to constrict with anticipation were the longest seconds she had ever lived. And then a figure emerged from the shadows and crossed the road with a silent grace that no mere human could possess. Then the figure paused and glanced over its shoulder, and the yellow eyes pierced the grey dusk.

As the vampire slipped back into the shadows Buffy crouched in the dirt behind the shrubs and began to shake. She shook with relief, with happiness, and with a hope that finally allowed the wall she had built around herself to crumble. She thought of all the months of knowing what it was like to be ordinary; what it had been like being weak and tired and frustrated. And then Faith's face flashed through her mind, and she was jerked from her shock and spurred into a state of guilty regret.

Faith had known. Faith had known all along that Buffy was still, and always would be, the Slayer. Buffy hadn't believed her, and Giles hadn't believed her. The gang hadn't even believed her, and they had sent her away. _Oh God, _Buffy thought. _What have we done?_

Buffy had found someone who understood her completely, a person who knew what it was like to be the Slayer. Faith knew her secrets and her desires, and shared her fears and needs. Faith was the one person that had seen her for who she truly was when no one else had, not even herself. Buffy knew without a doubt that Faith was the one person she could love without reserve or holding back.

Buffy shot to her feet with the shock of a sudden realization. Faith _was _the one person she loved without reserve or holding back. Faith was the person she loved. She took one glance at the place where the vampire had disappeared, and without wasting another moment ran into the house.

As she searched for Giles' car keys she thanked whatever deity existed that Xander had the foresight to keep her busy by teaching her to drive. She had barely grabbed the keys from the kitchen bench when she heard a scuffle from the hallway. When she turned around she found Xander, Willow and Giles standing in the door. She glanced anxiously at the backdoor and played with the idea of simply running out, but there was something different about the way they looked at her. Her curiosity was piqued, and she knew she couldn't run out on them without an explanation.

"Go," Xander said quietly.

She startled. "What?"

Willow came forward and pulled her into a hug. "Spike made us see something we'd refused to believe."

"He did what?" This conversation was not what she had expected.

"He went to L.A. and found Faith. Spike spoke to her and then came to us, and we want you to know we're really sorry."

"Sorry?"

Giles nodded, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. He dipped his head and reached for his glasses. "We don't know if you're still the Slayer or not. We don't want to give you false hope, but at the moment we'll do anything to see you smile again. Faith loves you, Buffy. And I don't know what you may feel for her, but, uh… We want you to be happy again. If she's what it takes to make you happy, then go get her back."

Buffy stared at her closest friends, no, _family, _and wondered what she had done to deserve them. Xander came over with his trademark dopey grin and wrapped his big arms around her. "Go get 'er, Buff."

She nodded, wishing that her throat wasn't so constricted with emotion. Glancing up at her Watcher, her mentor, she felt a sudden appreciation for them all and threw her arms around his neck. He stiffened at her unusual display of sentiment, and slowly collected her in his arms. She stepped back and Giles noticed the healthy flush on her cheeks. He couldn't believe he was allowing Buffy to go find Faith and bring her back. Neither could he believe that he had actually listened to Spike, or that he had managed to convince Xander and Willow.

He watched her face flush and her eyes glimmer with a hint of something they had lost a long time ago. Then she was gone, and he heard the noise of an engine revving, and waited until the car had backed down the drive way and sped away before he moved.

"Well, I suppose we can only wait now."

Willow and Xander nodded in unison, and he wondered if they even noticed that their hands were clasped tightly.

Now that Spike was drunk he couldn't see the logic in his match making. He had no idea what stupid reasons had made him help the two bints. He loved Buffy, had loved her for years, and now Faith was moving in on his girl. And he had _helped _her. When had his pathetic existence hit so low? He had _selflessly_ given up his hopes of finding love with Buffy to ensure her happiness. If he had seen someone else do it a couple of years back he would have killed the guy. Actions like that used to disgust him- maybe because it was something William would have done.

Spike took another long swig to banish thoughts of his long-dead self. Today he was giving up his own happiness for Buffy- tomorrow he'd be a willing sacrifice to save the world. _If this keeps up, _he thought, _I'll become the next Angel -_Realizing the direction and truth of his drunken thoughts Spike let out a series of curses and smashed his now-empty bottle of Jack Daniels onto a new grave stone. A shard of glass bounced up and lodged itself in his cheek. With a sudden roar he tore it out and flung it further into the cemetery. He felt the blood dribble onto his chin and fought the temptation to lick it.

He'd rather stake himself now than become a pillock like the nancy-boy. Spike remembered the loathing he felt when he first saw Angel four years ago; a loathing that had only festered as he watched his mentor become putty in the hands of a girl and a slave to guilt. Well, Spike was putty in a girl's hands now, just as Angel had been, but he'd be damned if he let guilt worm its way into him. That just wasn't his way. And neither was this gallant bollocks of playing the Good Samaritan. Helping get rid of demons and vampires was one thing, but turning into a moral stiff like Angel was a completely different story.

Something splashed onto his lower lip and he wiped it away. Blood stained his fingers and he automatically lifted his hand to his mouth. He hesitated.

"Ah, bugger it," he muttered, before licking at the cold fluid on his fingers. It tasted horrible though, and he was suddenly hit with the desire for warm blood. Real blood. Human blood. Spike tried to push that train of thought away. It didn't matter if he wanted to kill again anyway; the chip was still firmly in place and still working. He pulled up suddenly. He hadn't tested the chip in a while. What if it no longer worked?

A moment later the place where Spike had stood was empty, and all that was left was the broken glass scattered on the new grave.

Then a scream pierced the air, only to be abruptly cut off, and once more the night was quiet.

**To Be Continued…**


	17. 17

_Well... I'll give you a moment to pinch your arm and assure yourself that this is real. I have truly updated "Creed". Now that you're back with me I thought I should give you a little explanation for my sudden disappearance from the face of earth. I've been struggling with being sick for a while now and about a month ago it became really bad. I'm fine now, though, so don't worry about never seeing the end of this fic. I was just kept from writing for a few weeks and by the time I was well enough I had to devote all my time to catching up on school work I'd missed. So if weeks go by and I haven't updated you know the reason for it. Anyway, thank you all for your supportive and amazing reviews! I've replied to them all separately, because you all deserve the recognition. _

_rma- I like your musings, but I'm not giving anything away. And as for the Faith being better off without Buffy part... Well... read on. _

_unseen-eyes- lol. Thanks._

_ashley- Thank you, and hopefully updates will be faster now._

_gij- First thing first... LOL. I find your views on Spike absolutely hilarious. And isn't he all the better for it? And maybe your image was stolen from my muse._

_drumfreak- Thanks!_

_mythic-lionheart- It's always a pleasure reading your reviews! Thanks!_

_Buffy-CrazyaboutAngel- Thank you! Hopefully you'll like the rest of it too._

_mysticamethyst87- So many questions and so many answers that are for me to know and you to find out. Lol. I know, I'm evil, right?_

_lorri- I hope this chapter was worth the wait, so thanks for reviewing!_

_Mira- Thank you for giving me a more in-depth review of my writing. I love hearing about what appeals to my readers, because after all, I'm not just writing for myself. Thanks!_

_BeenGoneLong- You read it all in one go! I think I should be commending YOU!_

_Nikki- I'm glad you like my Spike; I find his evil side a lot more attractive too._

_Rosie- Three "really's"! Thank you!_

_Rosie W- Wow... thank you so much. To be 'magic' with words is what I've always wanted to achieve. You just made my day._

_And now... finally... we have Chapter 17..._

* * *

**Creed**

**Chapter 17**

* * *

Buffy arrived in Los Angeles two hours after she had set out, and was suddenly struck by the thought that she had no idea where Faith was. The brunette Slayer could be anywhere. Lost and with deflated hopes, Buffy continued to cruise through the streets, unsure of what to do next. The sun had set an hour ago and the L.A. night life was in full swing. Bright neon lights attracted crowds to the bars and clubs scattered around the town, and groups of exhilarated youths lined the streets.

Buffy circled the blocks and knew that, if she planned on finding Faith, her best bet would be a bar. She passed the nightspots where the line of partygoers disappeared around the block, and finally came to a small, secluded bar. She pulled her car towards the curb and killed the engine. The sign read _Caritas._ As she sat in her car a small, gaunt, scaly man walked onto the path and lit up a smoke. Buffy sighed. If she was going to search bars, she may as well start with the demon bars.

When she walked into Caritas, it wasn't at all what she expected. Instead of the 'doom and gloom' theme most bars of the underworld went for, this one was a welcoming myriad of colour and style. It was funky and modern and Buffy felt her spirits rise at the pleasant décor. She strolled towards the bar and ordered a sea breeze- a drink she'd just discovered while working at the Bronze. Remembering that she had to drive home, she asked the barman to keep it weak. The music was suddenly accompanied by a deep, soothing voice, and Buffy was startled to see that the singer was bright green. She shook her head with amusement and thanked the bartender when her drink arrived.

As she fiddled with the rim of the glass, Buffy took the time to study the demon bar she was in. There wasn't much activity, with most of the patrons sitting around tables and chatting quietly. If it wasn't for the unusual and unsightly appearance of the people, she'd be hard pressed to call this place a demon bar. There were a few harmless looking demons in the corner that reminded her of Clem, and a group of small but scaly creatures that looked like children. Five or six demons were scattered here and there, sitting alone and drinking, applauding as the green-skinned man wrapped up his song and bowed.

Buffy knew that Faith would not be here; the orderliness and lack of fighting would have sent the brunette running.

"Why would a pretty little thing like you be drinking alone?"

The glass was half-raised to her lips when the smooth voice interrupted her thoughts, causing her arm to freeze and the contents to slosh over the rim of the glass. She stared at the wet patch on her jeans in dismay, and then glanced up at the green-skinned, singing demon. He smiled sheepishly as he grabbed her a few napkins, and began to dab at her damp leg.

"Sorry about that, Blondie. I don't usually get many young women in here like you, and I forget that I tend to have that affect on people."

Buffy smiled at his friendly chatter and waved him away. "No, please don't worry about it. They're old jeans anyway."

"Ah," he said, returning the smile. "Vintage works so well on you." He held out his hand. "I'm Lorne, owner of this wonderfully retro club."

"I'm-" She stopped short, realizing it may not be the best idea to reveal her name in case she was known as the Slayer here in the L.A. underground as well. "I'm Anne," she said finally. She only hesitated a moment before placing her hand into his, and gaped in surprise when he lifted it to his lips and kissed the back of her palm.

"Lovely to meet you, Anne. So tell me, what's troubling you? Or would you prefer to sing?"

Buffy set the glass back onto the bar, wondering why on earth she was warming to this demon far better than she had been to her own friends lately. Still, she wasn't going to spill her life story to a strange green man who owned a scarily clean karaoke demon bar.

"Me? Sing?" Buffy snorted. "That's one sure way to bring about an apocalypse."

Lorne smiled, his white teeth almost blinding against the colour of his skin. "I can't believe such a pretty face could cause so much damage."

Buffy smiled ruefully at the irony of his statement. "That's pretty much all I do."

He frowned. "Is it problems of the heart?" Buffy glanced up in surprise and felt her face turn hot. He nodded. "Ah, a lover's tiff, perhaps? Or unrequited love? A broken heart?"

"Circle D. All of the above."

Another song started up, fractured by the drawling voice of one of the child-like scaly demons, and Buffy remembered it as one of her father's oldies. She hummed along with the tune, softly, tapping her fingernail against the barely touched glass in front of her. To think that once she had happily sung along to this song with her parents was worthy of laughter; those days did not feel a part of her life any more. Those memories belonged to someone else.

A sharp intake of breath startled her from her reverie, and she saw Lorne's eyes widen in fear and his hand grip the bar forcefully. He stared at her in terror and sadness, but there was confusion on his face. Buffy stared back, wondering what on earth had brought about this reaction. Maybe she had been recognised? But her face was not well known in this city, and she hadn't even used her real name.

Lorne's face softened and he released his grip on the counter to lay his hand over hers. "You're a… But that means you're… Well, isn't this just one colossal coincidence? You're Buffy. And by the way sugar, it's still there. She knew it, didn't she? And you pushed her away."

Buffy began to tremble, and she jerked her hand back as if burned. "I…I don't know what you're talking about. And I'm not Buffy."

"I think you do. And yes you are, Blondie. Now I understand why Angel-cakes mooned over you for so long."

Buffy's head shot up in stunned disbelief. "Angel? You know Angel?"

"Of course I know Angel. And Cordy and Wes and the rest of the gang. They're my regulars. My regular pain in the neck, that is. Every time they come in something gets broken or killed." He tried to sound genuinely annoyed but a shade of fondness had crept into his voice. "Anyway, my dear, there is a faint hint of something rising inside you. I don't know what the psycho Slayer and you have going on but I know that she has some role to play. That's why you're here, isn't it? To find her?"

Buffy opened and closed her mouth, trying to form words in reply. But her mind was spinning and she couldn't form any kind of coherent thought, let alone anything to say in return. She closed her eyes for a moment, and an unbidden image of Faith rose into the recesses of her mind.

Brown eyes ablaze. _Does it burn?_

"I need to find her," she whispered, unaware that she had spoken aloud. Buffy pushed her chair away from the bar and swung onto her feet. She only took one step before crashing into something that felt strangely like a familiar brick wall. Iron hands gripped her arms, stopping her from careening backwards.

"I'm so sorry-" Her apology was cut short when she looked up to see who she had run into. "Angel," she breathed.

"Buffy." No matter how many times she heard her name or who said it, nobody could compress so much history and meaning into one little word as Angel could. "I didn't know you were in L.A."

"I didn't know I was coming either," she replied. "I mean, it was a last-minute thing. I didn't really plan it."

He studied her carefully. "I see."

Lorne hopped down from his stool. "It's quite a coincidence that out of all the bars she could have she chosen from, our little Buffy chose Caritas. Funny how things work, don't you think?" He looked behind the brunette vampire. "Are the others here?"

Angel's gaze finally flickered from Buffy's down-turned face to Lorne. "Cordelia is here. Gunn and Wes are watching Fred."

"My God, does he actually think that is _singing_?" Buffy could have recognised that voice anywhere, and she waited for the surprise to register on Cordelia's face. "Buffy? What are you doing here?"

As tactful as ever, Buffy thought wryly. Angel turned back to look at her, intrigue written on his face.

"I'm… I'm actually looking for Faith."

"Why are you here then?" Angel asked in confusion. "Faith went back to Sunnydale this morning."

Buffy felt like hitting him. "What?"

"I tried to find her today to ask for help with a case but all my sources said she left L.A. I thought she would be heading back to Sunnydale."

Buffy groaned, and knew that it could only happen to her. She had to get back home. She had to get to Faith.

She turned to Lorne. "Thanks for the drink. And thanks guys, but I've gotta go." Pushing past Angel and Cordelia she hurried towards the exit.

"Buffy! Wait."

Buffy paused at the doorway and glanced over her shoulder. Angel had followed her.

"Is everything all right? "

She offered him a smile, not one of happiness but a smile of uncertainty. "I hope so."

* * *

**To Be Continued…**


	18. 18

**_Sorry to get your hopes up... This isn't an update, but my wonderful beta was finally found hiding under a rock in the Bahamas. This is the new, beta-ed and shiny error-free Chapter 18 that you should have had in the first place! _**

_**Don't worry though, Chapter 19 is on its way and should be posted over the weekend. Ta!**_

**_ShawThang_

* * *

**

**Creed**

**Chapter 18**

* * *

The woman's fear was intoxicating, and her scream sent a thrill tumbling down his spine. Spike shivered with anticipation as her body trembled beneath his hands, and his fingers tingled as warm blood rushed beneath her skin. She squirmed in his grasp, sobbing uncontrollably, and he felt his teeth lengthen and his face transform. When she finally glanced up at him, as all victims caught from behind do, she saw his yellow eyes and screamed. The sound made him grin and he dove forward, opening his mouth wider as he came to the crook of her neck. 

His teeth hadn't even touched her skin before hot, raging pain shot through his skull. Spike cried out and leapt back, dropping the sobbing woman to the ground. She scrambled along the path and raced out of the side street. He dropped to his knees, clutching at his head and moaning. The agony tore through his head, making coherent thoughts impossible. He bit into his lip so hard that he felt blood well up inside his mouth, and the memory of the warm, human blood he had come so close to tasting forced a snarl of frustration from his throat.

Spike rolled over onto his back and stared at the night sky. The effects or the alcohol were slowly draining away, and it left him feeling drained and wiped out. The damp, grimy floor of the alley-way way seeped through his clothes and touched his skin.

For the first time in years, Spike felt cold.

What in the world was he doing? On the night of Glory's defeat and Buffy's leap, he had promised himself that he would do everything in his power to earn Buffy's respect. In the moments after she called him a man, Spike hadn't even cared about wanting her to love him. He had simply wanted to show her that he could be the man- the _hero_- worthy of her respect. It had gone against every fibre of his body and mind, against all the things he had done or learnt over the centuries, against the very core of the demon inside him; yet, he had sworn.

So what was he doing now? Throwing it all away simply because he was drunk? Because it was too hard? Because Buffy loved someone other than him?

Spike stared at the stars, wondering why everything looked so much simpler up there. There was the dark eternity of the sky, and the flickering lights of the stars. There were no in-betweens, confusions of colour or difficult equations to be solved. It just… was.

As he lay on his back, Spike thought back to the early years of his life. He had not fit society's standards and had not been good enough for the people he wanted to impress. After he had been turned he had tried to erase the ridicule and rejection by causing death and pain. And later on, when he was reigned in by the god-damned chip and dependent on others, the only thing he was good for was a pathetic existence between two worlds.

What was wrong with him?

There was a sudden shout to his left and a door crashed open, flooding the alley with light. A round, balding man heaved himself out of the doorway and dumped a garbage bag on the ground. He eyed Spike lying on the ground and mumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like "damned drunks." A flash of anger coursed through him, and he leapt to his feet in one fluid motion. Setting a cocky grin on his lips, Spike swaggered towards the beefy man until only inches separated their faces. The shopkeeper eyed Spike's thin-set frame and smirked back.

Spike nodded once and grinned as he felt the bones beneath his face begin to shift. He allowed his fangs to slide beneath his top lip and widened his yellow eyes. He lunged forward and the bulky man gave a high-pitched yelp as he tried to run. He tripped over his own feet and crawled back towards the door, frantically glancing over his shoulder and whimpering. Spike watched him go until the door slammed shut.

When he turned around, Spike realized he was grinning. He hadn't felt this good in a long while. It wasn't like he had done something out of the ordinary. He'd just had a bit of fun. And he had liked it.

Spike tried to remember the last time he'd gone out to have a good time. Back in the early days it had always been about "kill the Slayer, take over Sunnydale". Then he'd been reigned in by the bloody chip. After that it was all about impressing Buffy with all the white-hat, do-gooder bull. When was the last time he'd actually had a good time?

"Well, bugger that," he muttered.

He wasn't going to waste his time chasing a blonde bird who didn't want him. And he wasn't going to moon over his bad luck, either. The idea of fighting for the "greater good" or whatever they wanted to call it held appeal for him now, so jumping back on the evil bandwagon was not an option. Spike kicked at an empty can lying near the bins. _Screw this, _he thought. _I'm going to live the way I want to. _

He hesitated only a moment before deciding where to go.

* * *

When the empty surroundings began to give way to a scattering of houses, Faith began to sweat. She shifted in her seat, frustrated by how slow they were going and by how far away Sunnydale seemed to be. And then the welcoming sign appeared in front of the truck, and Faith sank lower into her seat, suddenly wishing she was a lot further away. A few minutes later they were surrounded by houses that seemed to close in on them as they drove by, and she felt swamped with nerves. Sunnydale was exactly the same as it had always been at night; quiet, tense and full of moving shadows. She didn't know why she'd expected any different. 

"Here we are then, hon."

Faith thanked Frank, the truck driver who had given her a lift, and hopped down from the vehicle cabin. Frank waved and shot her a lopsided grin, and she found that she had enjoyed the old man's company. He was a grandfather of twenty-five, and father of seven, and had spent most of the trip telling her about his beloved children and his grandchildren. It was hard to hear about the joys of having so many family members, and it was hard for her to bite her lip and stay silent. He told her funny holiday stories, and told her which grandchild was the brightest, and which was the craziest, and who was about to marry and who was about to give birth. Faith listened with an ache in her chest.

Frank drove off, and she stood alone in front of the butcher's. She snorted at the irony as the stench of bloodied meat hit her, and Faith wondered why everything always came back to blood. She glanced up the main street, trying to remember where in the town Buffy lived. Now that she was actually here, Faith was almost grateful that she couldn't remember how to get to Buffy's house in a car. It would give her a chance to regain her bearings.

As she strolled down the street, Faith forced herself to calm down and soon enough she was rolling in the confidence she had always possessed. Her walk took on the characteristics of the self-confident, sexy and mysterious girl she'd been the first time she hightailed it into this town. Back then it had been all about the fun to be had, the chaos to be caused and the escape from the nightmares that haunted her. She could never have known that this town could turn her life around so dramatically.

And here she was again, except this time the circumstances were so unbelievable to her that she struggled to keep the assured expression on her face. Faith forced all doubt from her mind and hurried towards the nearest cemetery; she knew how to get everywhere from the cemeteries. The night was fresh and slightly warm, and she found herself itching to slay. Maybe she would spend a few moments hunting before going on to find Buffy…

But as an hour passed and Faith was patrolling a third cemetery, she decided that she'd been mistaken in putting off her plan. Now that she had had time to think, all the uncertainties and insecurities rose to the fore and she no longer had the drive or determination to face Buffy. And so she kept walking, interrupted by more than a few diversions of the undead kind, and kept planning her speech.

Everything had seemed so clear the night she decided that she loved Buffy and would fight for her. It hadn't mattered what she would say to the blonde woman or what Buffy's response would be. She had only known that once she told Buffy everything, it would all be all right. Now that it was upon her though, the very thought terrified her. She felt a prickle in the back of her neck and welcomed the distraction. Maybe some violence with the un-dead would help gather her nerves.

She turned around, opening her mouth to deliver witty banter, but she caught herself just in time. A surge of disappointment filled her, and she rolled her eyes.

"How's it been, Spike?"

Spike grinned back.

"Faith."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, flicking her hair back from her face.

"Looking," he replied.

"For what?"

"I don't know, Slayer." He drew a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. The smoke curled upwards in a slow spiral. "Maybe a dance?"

She felt a familiar itch in her palms and clenched her fists. "With you?"

"I don't know about you, but I find dancing with myself a bit of a challenge, don't you think?" He grinned, the cigarette peeking out the corner of his mouth.

Faith felt a rising within her, and knew that she would finally get the fight she had wanted all night. Her body was tingling, bursting with suppressed energy and desperately needing an outlet. She let her stake fall to the grass, feeling for the spare one she kept in her jacket just in case. She watched Spike flick his cigarette away and remove his duster.

He moved slowly towards her, step by step, letting the tension and desperation climb until Faith felt as though she could take on twenty vampires and kill them all within minutes. Her fist flew into his nose before she could think, and his head snapped back as he grunted in pain. Before she could taunt him, however, she found herself flying through the air and into a gravestone. Spike's well-placed kick had connected a powerful blow to her mid-section, but Faith leapt to her feet instantly, drawing in a breath to replace the air knocked from her lungs.

She advanced on him again, and they attacked at the same time. Each blow that connected was returned, and neither could gain the upper ground. They circled and lunged and retreated in sync, calculating their movements. They both knew the other's fighting style: dirty. They fought at dizzying speeds and by the time they both stepped back, panting hard, the area of the cemetery they were in looked more like a battle ground. Grave stones were knocked over, flower vases were smashed, and grass had been ripped from the earth. Both Faith and Spike were bleeding and bruised, yet both of them felt surprisingly satisfied.

Spike was not about to admit that he hadn't been able to defeat the young Slayer, and so he resorted to what he did best: causing trouble the verbal way.

"Left town for a bit I heard," he said, wiping cold blood from his cheek.

"Miss me?" she retorted.

"Nah." Spike shook his head and pulled out another cigarette. "I was only wondering why you left."

Faith knew he was only hooking her in, but she decided to take the bait anyway. "And why would you wonder that?"

"Well, it looked to me like you were one-up on me in our little bet."

Faith raised her eyebrows. "One-up? Maybe you didn't hear that _she_ told me to leave."

"Buffy says a lot of things, and nothing she says is what she really wants." Spike took a long drag and slowly blew the smoke into the sky. He noticed the brief confusion that flickered over Faith's face, but she recovered quickly and he didn't comment. "She was bloody shattered, she was. Had to comfort her myself. She just flung herself at me all cryin' and moanin' about how they all leave her in the end. Couldn't even get a word in to order a drink."

Although it was slight, he saw Faith's mouth twitch. He didn't know where he was pulling these lies from, but he was having a great time watching Faith react. It occurred to him then that Faith wanted- and needed- Buffy more than he did. He could survive without Buffy if he had to; of course, he'd rather survive _with_ her, but the way things were going it didn't look likely. He knew this was one bet where he wasn't going to come out on top. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as he had thought it would. _If I'm going to lose, _he thought,_ I'm gonna make the bint work for it._

Spike thought about it for only a moment before deciding to leap in and really stir up the pot.

"It took a lot to get the bint to shut her gob. Finally got myself a drink. Didn't really expect her to throw herself at me-"

Faith's fist slammed into his nose, and excruitiating pain exploded through his head. He leapt backwards, clutching his nose with one hand, glaring at Faith. She stood with her hands clenched into fists, her chest heaving in anger.

Spike swore loudly. "Why the bloody hell did you do that?" he bellowed, tasting salty blood on his lips.

"You're quite the story teller, aren't ya?" she said, smirking. Her eyes, however, betrayed her fury. "Got any more lies, Blondie? Or is that nose too painful to talk?"

Spike straightened, flicked away his broken cigarette, and shoved his hands into his pockets with a sly smile. "Come on, luv. I'm Spike. Since when do I ever lie?"

He walked away, and Faith was left with her chest burning with anger and betrayal.

* * *

**To Be Continued…**

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	19. 19

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**Creed**

**Chapter 19**

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Buffy had passed the cemetery only thirty seconds before the engine stuttered, backfired, and then died. She sat frozen for a moment, staring at the flashing light in horror. How on earth could she have forgotten to fill up on petrol? It seemed stupid that of all things to stop her this night it was running out ofpetrol that would keep her from finding Faith.

She slammed her fists onto the dashboard with a frustrated groan. An ugly thought reared in her mind. What ifall the obstacles she had faced that day were signs? What if these signs were trying to tell her that she and Faith just weren't meant to be? Buffy bit her lip, staring at her hands on the steering wheel. Then she shook her head and managed a smile. She wasn't going to let a few set backs stop her. She was going to find Faith tonight.

Buffy pushed open her car door and leapt out, slamming it shut behind her. She had only jogged five paces before pausing. She glanced over her shoulder, rolled her eyes and raced back to the car, fervently wishing that Xander had invested in central locking as she quickly locked the door. Then she pocketed her keys and raced into the night, determined to find the woman she loved.

* * *

Faith was too lost in her constant denials of Spike's claim to notice the prickling just beneath her skin. It was only when a thrill shot down her neck that her head snapped up, just in time to see gloomy figures emerge from the trees. Her chest constricted as the number of vampires circling her became apparent. _Too many, _a voice whispered in her mind. She forcefully suppressed the doubts that had surfaced, and was surprised when her ex-Watcher's voice sprang into her head.

"_Doubt only leads to death. If you want to win, you must believe that you can win."_

Faith flicked her hair back, and eyed the vampire in front of her with calculation. He had a short but bulky build, and stocky legs. She grinned. _His weakness is speed, _she thought. The two behind him were much bigger, but the one on the left was lightly built and his walk was refined. He would be agile, and a challenge. The one on the right had a dim-witted look about him. She decided he wouldn't be too much trouble. She quickly flicked her gaze around the circle, weighing up her odds and guessing weaknesses she could exploit. Less than ten seconds had passed before she casually placed her hands on her hips and pouted.

"You wouldn't _all_ be after little ol' me, would you?" she said,cringing inwardly at her ability to make fun of such a deadly situation. "'Cause I don't think that's fair at all, boys. I'll try to hold back for a while to make it seem like you guys have a chance."

The short, stocky vampire let out a growl and lashed out first, but she quickly ducked, spun and staked it through the back. The next one- the one she had thought dim-witted- was surprisingly quicker, managing to get a jab to her cheekbone before she kicked out sideways, connecting with his knee. He fell to his knees and her stake plunged into his chest. More dust blocked her view. A few more met the end of her stake before the lightly built vampire stepped forward. The others formed a tight circle around them, and Faith realized they were going to play with her first before actually trying to kill her. The lean vampire stepped forward, his feet seeming togliding across the grass. His skin was paler than most of the others, but it wasn't until she saw his dark blue eyes that she knew he was ancient. There was a hollow depth about his eyes that the other did not have, and Faith began to feel doubt creep back into her mind.

He gazed up at her, and a smile- although it looked more like a sneer- slowly appeared on his lips. He knew she was afraid.

Faith watched him, and slowly realized that she _was _afraid. She was afraid that she would not be able to defeat this vampire. She was afraid that tonight would be the night her calling ended. But most of all, Faith was terrified that she would never see Buffy again. She imagined what Buffy would do if she died. Would she be upset? Would she cry? Or would she be glad that Faith was gone- another problem dealt with?

Faith stopped the thoughts gyrating through her mind, and cleared her head. She knew that Buffy would cry for her if she died… and Faith hated to see Buffy cry. She gazed back at the vampire, squared her shoulders, and grinned. She would not die tonight.

His sneer faltered at her new-found confidence, but he leapt forward and kept her from forming any new thoughts. She let go of her fears and her doubts, seeing only the vampire in front of her. Her body moved without conscience thought; it simply reacted to the vampire's offensive, allowing the intuition of the Slayer to guide her. The fight seemed to be playing out in slow-motion, but her breathing was ragged and her body was drenched with sweat. Then she finally saw an opening, and she took it. She dropped to a crouch and punched up into the vampire's left side, where his no-longer functioning kidney would be. He roared in pain and stumbled back, but he recovered faster than she had predicted and slammed his fist into her face. She felt her lip split open and tasted blood.

He followed with two quick jabs to her abdomen and then dropped to the grass and swept her feet out from under her. She rolled as soon as her back hit the ground and forced herself back onto her feet. The barrage of attacks did not let up. She found her energy was rapidly depleting. Faith was wearying quickly, and her punches no longer held enough strength to serious hurt or hinder him. Uncertainty began to make her hesitate, and every time she faltered he pushed harder. She was fading fast.

Faith lost all sense of time and feeling. She felt heavy and slow, and she no longer focused on the fight. Her thoughts began to wander. What would it feel like to die? She knew it would sting when the fangs pierced her skin, knew it would ache when the blood was drained from her body. Would it be fast, or slow? Would she pass out before she slipped into death? Or would she go in a moment of clarity, knowing that this breath would be her last?

And it did hurt. The fangs were thicker than she expected, and there was nothing gentle about it. The vampire ripped into her throat, drawing her blood noisily and sloppily. She felt the warm rush of blood down her shoulder, and her head began to feel light and her eyesight became hazy. She thought she heard someone call "Slayer!", but it sounded so far away. The fangs suddenly disappeared. Her body hit the ground, but the agony in her neck was too intense to leave much room for her other aches and pains. The surface beneath her was actually soft, and she felt herself drifting away…

"No! Faith!"

That voice. She had heard it many times before, but never had it spoken her name like that. Faith felt her chest constrict and a sob escaped her throat. Why couldn't they have hadone day together?

"B-Buffy?" She tried to whisper, but it came out as a husky croak.

"Shh," Buffy whispered. "You'll be okay. Oh God, what happened?"

"There were too many of them."

Buffy tried to staunch the flow of blood, but there was so much of it already. The grass was stained crimson.

"'s kinda funny," Faith whispered.

"What is?"

"This. I'm finally where I've always wanted to be, and now I get to die. Life's a bitch."

Then Faith's world went black, and Buffy clung to the limp body in her arms.

* * *

Faith was certain she was dead. There was no pain. There were no harsh noises. There was no smell of dirt and dust. There were no memories. There was no darkness. There was nothing. And yet…there was something that told her she was not, in fact, dead. Maybe it was the notion that death was supposed to bring a content happiness and relief, and she felt none of that. Instead, she felt slightly incomplete, like something was missing and she would find it if she could only open her eyes… 

The blinding light stung and she blinked rapidly, holding back the fluid that began to trickle from the corners of her eyes. She was definitely alive. Although, the white surrounding her was reminiscent of what she had always thought the afterlife to be. It was pure, untainted light, unaffected by the darkness that had hounded her during her life. It was too bright, though, too harsh and violent. The insistent beeping pierced her silent ponderings, although it sounded so far away. With every beep she felt something pulse within her, and it took her a moment to realize it was her own heart.

"Faith…"

That voice. It was familiar, so familiar. It was achingly familiar, only Faith couldn't grasp who it belonged to. It was someone important- she needed to know who it was. She opened her eyes and saw the vision above her, anxiously chewing her lip and gazing down on her from worried, frowning green eyes.

"Buffy?"

Buffy startled and almost fell from her perch on the side of Faith's hospital bed. "Yeah, it's me."

Faith winced at the volume of her voice, wondering how it could go from beautiful to insanely painful in half a second. Buffy must have noticed her discomfit, because she frowned and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like I got demoted to after-dinner snack," she replied, earning a grin from the blonde beside her.

Faith tried to smile but found that it hurt. She couldn't move much, actually. Beginning to panic, she tried to move her hands, and then her arms, and finally her legs. Nothing happened.

"Don't try to move," Buffy warned. "The doctor's said your neck was nearly broken, which could give you temporary paralysis. It won't last long. You know, with the Slayer fast-healing package.

Faith suppressed the panic welling inside her, but hated the vulnerability it made her feel. If there was something she couldn't stand, it was not being able to do something. Not being able to do something as simple and everyday as moving a limb, was making her angrier by the second.

It was then, as she looked up and caught Buffy's eye, that the past few weeks caught up with her and she remembered. It hit her suddenly.

"I was right," she said.

Buffy's head snapped up. "What?"

"You killed those vampires," Faith clarified. "You killed them and saved me."

Buffy shook her head sadly. "Nah, I didn't. I went looking for you but I wasn't having much luck. I came around the side gate and pretty much bumped into a group of them.Someone must have seen me becauseI heard themshout "Slayer" and they all took one look at me and ran away. I dusted the one drinking from you with the stake you dropped. Look." She held up a bandaged wrist. "I dislocated my wrist. I never knew how hard it was for the other guys to dust vamps."

Faith felt the frustration set in again. She _knew _Buffy was returning to her old ways. She had felt it, even _seen _a hint of it. Giles and the others were trying to get her to accept that she wasn't the Slayer anymore, and Buffy was slowly conforming to their ideas. She shut her eyes briefly, forcing the same old circle of thoughts to cease. Buffy didn't love her. Buffy didn't need her. Maybe she should just let her go.

* * *

Faith was out of the hospital a few days later, and after assuring the reluctant doctors that she would be well cared for, Buffy and Giles escorted her from the confining white walls of the hospital. She was taken to Buffy's bed and ordered to rest, but Faith couldn't sleep. Her skin was crawling, and the bruises were beginning to ache as the drugs wore off. She tossed and turned in the soft bed, trying to find a comfortable position. She had dreamed of being in Buffy's bed, but never like this. Not like this helpless, beaten-down, little girl. 

Buffy checked in on Faith every hour or so, and she hoped Faith found it more comforting than annoying. She looked at the pale skin of the usually tanned Slayer and almost cringed. Her thick, lifeless hair fell about her eyes, which were underlined by black circles. Her lips were cracked and parched, and Buffy left a glass of water on the table and came back to find it empty. The defenceless position Faith was in made her feel uneasy. Faith was always hard and unrelenting, someone who could be relied on to always be okay. The vulnerability showed a different side to the brunette Slayer, a side which Buffy had always wondered about. If only she had seen it a few years ago, she could have helped Faith before her fall.

The finality of it hit her with force. She _loved_ Faith. She had known before she went to L.A. that she had feelings for the other girl that ran deep. But she hadn't actually considered what they meant. Now that she thought about it, she was thunder-struck. She _loved _Faith.Not in a sisterly-Slayer way. Not in a friendship way. No, she actually loved Faith as in passionate, absolute, need-and-want-to-kiss-her-right-now. She loved Faith as she had loved Angel. She loved Faith as she had Riley. Since when had she been gay? But it wasn't the gay issue which caused her the whirling thoughts to stop. It was the memory of sending Faith away after the incident outside the Bronze. God, what had she done?

She spun on her heel and hurried from the room. Her self admittance of her love for Faith never left her thoughts, and although she had thought the brunette returned the feelings, now she wasn't sure. Faith's eyes were empty when they fell on her these days, and her voice was flat, void of emotion. Maybe she had been mistaken in believe Faith loved her back. Buffy couldn't stand the thought. What if Faith didn't love her? What would she do? Buffy didn't think she could just move on from her feelings for Faith like it was a passing crush. Passing crushes didn't hurt this much. They didn't confuse you this much and they certainly didn't make you _feel _this much.

Buffy eventually feel asleep on the couch downstairs sometime around late afternoon, and when she woke she immediately hurried up the stairs to her room. She pushed the door open and peered inside. The bed was empty. Buffy glanced around in confusion, and moved to the bathroom. Faith wasn't there either. She raced down the stairs, thinking that maybe Faith was well enough to move around the house. She found Giles and Dawn in the kitchen making sandwiches.

"Where is she?" she demanded, glancing anxiously into the living room.

"Who?" Dawn asked.

"Faith!"

"She's upstairs, Buffy," Giles said, his forehead creasing with frown lines. "In your bedroom."

"No, she's not."

Giles dropped the knife he was holding onto the bench. "Are you sure?"

"I think I'd know if she was in my bed," Buffy snapped. "There's not a lot of places she could be hiding in it."

"Relax, Buffy," Dawn said, resting her hand lightly on Buffy's arm. There was a worried glint in her eyes. "I'm sure she's just gone for a walk or something."

Buffy shrugged off her sister's hand and rushed back up the stairs. She looked in the draw she had cleared for some of Faith's things. It was empty. When she turned around, Giles and Dawn were standing in the doorway.

"Since when do you need a toothbrush to go for a walk?" she muttered.

The three of them called Willow and Tara and picked them up from the café they were lunching at. Xander and Anya promised to search a few of the cemeteries and drive through the main part of town. Buffy fidgeted nervously in the front seat of Giles' car, and she peered through the window the entire drive. He pulled up outside the cemetery Faith had been attacked in that night and Buffy leapt from the car. She ran through the graveyard, dodging crypts and weaving through headstones. She called out Faith's name, and vaguely noticed the others doing the same. It was daylight, and there wasn't much threat of alerting vampires to their presence.

Buffy had a fleeting reminder of a day back in high school where she had blown off a chemistry test to slay vampires with Faith during the day. The excitement and novelty of it had gripped her, and she suddenly ached for the days of worrying about skipping classes and dealing with high school bitches.

Buffy was so caught up in her memories that she didn't notice she had wandered into the shade of a mausoleum.

"Slayer."

She jumped in fright, instinctively leaping for the safety of sunlight.

"Just me, pet," Spike said, lifting her head and sucking on the butt of a cigarette.

"Spike," she breathed, cursing herself for what could have been a fatal mistake.

"Did'a find her, then?"

Buffy detected the hint of jealously that had crept into his voice, and actually felt guilty. She had begun to take Spike for granted, and she realized with a start how much he had done for her. He had protected Dawn from Glory, had protected her and the others while she had been in LA, and had apparently taken up her Slaying duties. Why was she even questioning his motives anymore?

"Spike…" she began, but he cut her off.

"I know you'll never love me," he said, flicking the cigarette away. "But like I said before, you treated me like a man, and that's enough for me. So did'a find her?"

"Yes," she replied, nodding. "She was attacked. She's been in hospital the last few days. She's okay now, I guess. But she's gone missing agin."

"Might wanna check the Bronze then, luv," he advised, lifting up a drain cover.

"Spike… wait," she called out, stepping back into the shadows. He paused, and before she could think about it too much she reached out and touched his shoulder. He stiffened, but gently pushed her away, mourning what he could never have. "Thank you," she said.

"No need to thank me, pet. I told Faith you had a dip at me. Was probably why she was hanging round the cemetery in the first place." He grinned lopsidedly, watching her body stiffen in anger. Buffy looked livid.

"You're a… a…"

"A what, luv?" he said. "Gotta get my kicks somehow."

Buffy punched him square in the nose. He clutched his bloodied nose and swore, but she had already turned and fled in the direction of the Bronze. The grin reappeared on his lips when he realized his nose was broken.

Buffy was strong again.

**To Be Continued…**


	20. 20

**_What's this? An update less than 2 weeks after the previous one? Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. Thanks is due to Vana Tuivana for beta-ing this chapter! _**

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**Creed**

**Chapter 20**

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As soon as she entered the club, Buffy locked eyes with the one person she had so desperately wanted to see. Faith's dark eyes were filled with surprise, but then Buffy saw anger wash away the astonishment. Faith's lean, toned body inclined against the bar, her low-slung leather pants and black top showing a tanned midriff. Her dark brown hair hung in waves down her back and loose curls fell from behind her ear to cover one eye. Her eyes were shadowed in dark eyeliner, and her pouting lips were blood-red. Buffy's heart was pounding. How could she have ever resisted this amazing, beautiful woman? 

Faith turned away, tossed down a shot and sauntered to the dance floor without sparing another glance at her. Buffy watched Faith dance, and found herself mesmerized by the alluring swing of Faith's hips and the sway of her lean torso. Her fingers were tangled in the curls on the top of her head, which lifted her top up even further and offered a view of the tautness of her stomach and fullness of her cleavage to all who cared to look. A guy snaked his arm around her waist,pulling her roughly back into his body. She played along, grinding herself into him, and Buffy felt an intense pang of jealousy and anger. How dare he touch her like that? It felt like betrayal, and yet Buffy knew she had no right to accuse Faith of disloyalty. She hated the feeling of annoyance that slithered into her chest and stomach, and she could not take her eyes of the solid, tanned arm that encircled Faith's waist.

Faith refused to look over at Buffy, ignoring her as though all her thoughts were on the pathetic guy behind her. He was clumsy and stilted, and she had to work harder to make it look like she was actually enjoying it. But she was willing to bear it, because she wanted to show Buffy that she was not going to mope over her rejection. She wanted Buffy to feel the sting of rejection, to know the pain that she had caused Faith. If what Spike said was true, then Faith was going to make Buffy insanely jealous, and afterwards... Well, she didn't want to get her hopes up. A vampire's word didn't have much reliability, especially Spike's, and although her mind was already buzzing with the possibilities, a part of her was still reluctant to embrace it. She had already had too many disappointments in her life to hold much hope. And considering thatthe thing she was hoping for was Buffy- the beautiful, strong woman she had always wanted to be and have... Well, there wasn't much enthusiasm behind the possibility.

It only took a few minutes before Faith decided that she couldn't stand it anymore and slid from her partner's grasp. He eyed her suggestively, and as Faith continued to dance by herself she had visions of him flying over the bar counter and crashing into the glass shelves. Instead of turning the idea intoreality, however, Faith glanced up to where Buffy had been standing to find her gone. Faith's movements faltered. Her heart began to race and her stomach plummeted as she realized that her actions had pushed Buffy away. She cursed herself. No matter what she did, it always ended up being wrong. It had always been like that.

She couldn't get anything right in school. _Faith, how many times do I have to tell you that two negatives make a positive_ Nothing at home was ever right either. _Shut up that racket, you stupid kid!_ Not even her Watcher thought she could do anything right. _Stop dropping your shoulder! I've told you too many times_

But Buffy did. Buffy believed in her. Buffy believed she could do something right.

_You're doing something good, Faith._

And then Faith was roughly pulled from her thoughts as she collided with someone. She spun around angrily and came face to face with an equally angry blonde. Buffy's annoyed gaze softened when she saw her, and Faith felt the anger and frustration inside her rapidly dissipate. But the desire to touch Buffy didn't lessen, and so Faith grabbed her roughly around the waist, drawing Buffy's small body towards hers. Their bodies touched and a fire exploded in the bottom of Faith's stomach. Buffy's mouth formed a small o as Faith began to dance, moving provocatively to the suddenly sensual music. Buffy's arms snaked around her neck, and as she nervously met Faith's eyes she began to match her movements with equal fervour.

Faith had always been impulsive, and she could not help dropping her hand lower to the curve of the blonde's backside. Buffy leapt back, startled, and Faith regretted it instantly. She was so stupid! Now Buffy would slap her and leave, and she would go home and tell her precious Scoobies that the rogue Slayer actually had the nerve to touch her like she deserved to. Buffy's hand snaked out, and Faith waited for the sting of her palm across her cheek.

But Buffy did something neither of them expected.

She reached behind Faith's head and forcefully pulled her closer. Their lips and tongues joined in a fervent kissand Faith was too stunned to move. Buffy's tongue slipped into her mouth, and the sudden fire on Faith's tongue broke her from her frozen stupor. She grabbed Buffy's head and kept it there, battling Buffy's tongue with her own. They fought, neither willing to give the other the satisfaction of breaking the heated kiss first.

They both stepped back as one, shocked and exhilarated by the astonishing kiss. Buffy was breathing hard, her mind in turmoil over what she had just done. She had just kissed Faith. And even though she loved the brunette Slayer, the idea that this was _wrong_ would not leave her alone. Her thoughts were moving in circles, and she did the only thing she could think of.She ran.

If Faith was anything, she was a fighter.And in being a fighter, she fought for what she wanted, and usually got it. And when it was something she really wanted, she made sure she got it. Now Buffy was that thing, and Faith was ready to destroy everything that stood between them to get her. Even if that was Buffy herself. So when Buffy ran, Faith followed.

She shoved her way through the throng of people, never taking her eyes off of the blonde head bobbing its way toward the entrance. The door opened and Buffy disappeared through it. Faith slammed the door open again and caught up to her, reaching out and grasping her arm. Buffy twirled around and Faith saw her panicked expression.

"B..."

"I've got to go-"

"I love you," she exclaimed, and Buffy froze.

"W-what?" Buffy whispered. Disbelief, desire and confusion clouded her ability to coherently form any words.

Faith froze as she realized what she had done. She couldn't take it back; she couldn't pretend nothing had happened. She couldn't go back. There was only Buffy's reaction, and the uncertainty of it all terrified her. It was a rare occurrence that made her turn to fear, but in that instant between her admission and Buffy's reaction, she was more afraid than she'd ever felt before. Because she knew that if Buffy turned her away, she would know for certain that she wasn't good enough. That she could never be good enough. It was this belief that she had clutched to, a belief that she was good enough for Buffy's love.

Buffy heard the three word's slip from Faiths lips, but they replayed in her mind like a dream and she could not decide whether they were real. She was convinced that her feelings were unrequited, that the other girl had ceased to love her, if in fact she ever had. When Faith suggested that she would return to her old self, Buffy had wanted nothing other than to believe in Faith, to believe that Faith was right. She had wanted to find Faith and apologise so many times during the week after she made Faith leave, but she was terrified of discovering that Faith was wrong. That she'd never be the Slayer again, and the tiny fragment of hope Faith's words left inside her would be crushed. There had also been a small fear of finding Faith and seeing uncaring, malevolent browns eyes staring back- a sure sign that Faith was too disgusted withher to ever feel love for her.

"I love you," Faith repeated, suddenly weary of the game. She was tired of pretending, and she was tired of hiding. Buffy was the only reason Faith still lived in this world, and if the blonde couldn't love her Faith did not know what would happen. She waited.

Buffy lifted her green eyes, finally locking them with the weary brown ones that usually sparked with so much life.Ever since she could remember Buffy had done what everyone believed was right. She had said things she didn't believe in, but were right to say. She had given away so much of her life to do what was right in this world that she had forgotten who she was. She had forgotten how to live how she wanted to live.

Buffy stepped forward, lightly tracing Faith's cheek with her finger, and gently placed a kiss on her lips.

"I love you too, Faith," Buffy murmured with a shy smile.

"You do?" Faith asked in a surprisingly vulnerable, childlike voice. Buffy nodded.

Faith grinned, her eyes dancing. "Spike owes me a drink, then."

Buffy laughed. "I dont want to know-"

She was suddenly cut off as Faith pulled her into a frenzied kiss. An unexpected warmth filled her stomach, and Buffy recognised a feeling she hadn't felt since before her leap. Buffy felt content; and not only that, she felt excited, nervous and girlish all at once. Faith gently pulled back, kissing the tip of Buffy's nose. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other, too afraid that this was a dream to let go.

"Do you believe I love you?" Faith asked, her gaze piercing into Buffy's eyes, searching her for the answer.

"Of course I do!" Buffy exclaimed, still slightly dizzy from Faiths closeness.

"Do you believe I'd die protecting you?"

"God, Faith! Let's not plan our deaths just yet, okay?"

"Do you believe I'd never lie to you?" Faith asked, ignoring her comment.

"Yes," Buffy replied, turning serious. "I do."

"Do you believe me when I say you're still the Slayer?"

Buffy hesitated, searching Faith's eyes for a reason to believe her. She saw absolute conviction, a wild determination reflecting through the brown depths. Buffy wanted nothing more than to believe Faith. She had hoped and dreamed that Faith would show the others wrong, that Faith would help bring back a part of her that had gone missing. Yet despite this, Buffy felt the old threads of reality grasping at her.

Buffy's shoulders dropped and she sighed. "I don't-"

"Listen to me!" Faith demanded, grabbing Buffy roughly by the waist. "You are still the Slayer. You are. And I know this because I felt it. And not only that, but I know it. I know it and you know it. Nothing can take the Slayer away from you, because the Slayer is you. Without one the other would be dead, and you seem pretty much alive to me, so the Slayer inside you is too."

"But I'm so weak..."

"Hit me," Faith said, and Buffy's head snapped up in surprise.

"W-what?" she whispered, shaking her head.

"Hit me!"

"No. I won't hit you!"

Faith pushed Buffy from her and backed away, eyes flashing angrily. "You are pathetic, B. I must've been wrong. You are weak. There's no way you could possibly be the Slayer, because the Slayer I used to know wasn't some pansy-assed girl who would let her friends wrap her in cotton balls and keep her away from saving people. The Slayer I used to know, the girl that you used to be, Buffy, was strong. Fierce. Beautiful. A freaking hero. All I see in front of me is a fragile little girl afraid of accepting what she is. Its sickening. I love the old you, B, not this pathetic excuse-"

Faith was cut off as a powerful fist slammed into her jaw and sent her sailing into the same wire fence Buffy had struck after being hit by the vampire. Faith rubbed her jaw tenderly, groaning as she struggled back to her feet. When she pushed her hair away from her face, she saw Buffy standing on her toes, fists ready for action, her muscles tensed and her green eyes flashing with anger. Faith grinned, and Buffy's glare faltered, and then disappeared completely as realization set in.

Faith's heart soared. She knew her girl could do it.

"See, B? This is what Slayers do. Forget the past; it doesn't matter. Screw the future; it doesnt matter, either. This is what we do, and we do it now. Slayers do everything they can with the time they've got, because one day they won't be there anymore. We fight and we struggle and we wage war, but we don't give up. We never go out without a fight. We never lay our weapons down until we suck in our last breath. We never stop. You and me, B, that's what we do. And we won't go out without a fight. Cause that's the freakin creed of the Slayer."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

**_I still thrive off reviews and with less than three (maybe two?) chapters to go I need the motivation..._**


	21. 21

_**Can you believe it? This is the last chapter of Creed… sob... We've only got the epilogue now and then it's all over. I don't know about you, but this is an end of an era (a painfully long and arduous era) for me. Please leave a review and tell me what you think, and I'll try to let this story go out with a bang in the epilogue. You're all amazing for sticking with me this long, and I wanted to thank you all individually.**_

**_Thanks to: _**poetic darkness, CBscifiJUNKY, mythic-lionheart, paigemaster, CharmingAngel, GB Keeper, meetwickedfaith, mysticamethyst87, christina, parentaladvisory, tked, firecaster-hikaru, Nikki, Dingoes Groupie, thunder07, toria and charmedloverloes.

_**You are the reason I've held on and kept writing this past year, so you have my gratitude! Toodles!**_

_**  
**_

* * *

**Creed**

**Chapter 21**

* * *

After making sure that Dawn was safely at a friend's place for the night, Buffy and Faith waited for Giles to answer the door to his apartment. Buffy nervously grasped for Faith's hand, and the brunnette gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. They heard scuffling footsteps behind the door, and it opened to reveal Giles's surprised face. They both stared at the scruffy blue dressing gown he was wearing. 

"Buffy, you found her…"

"That I did," Buffy replied in an unusually high-pitched voice. "Uh, can I-we talk to you?"

He eyed them warily, but pulled the door open wider and gestured for them to come inside. He closed the door and followed them, stumbling slightly as the cotton of his dressing gown caught on a wooden chair sitting in the middle of the room.

"Just an old chair I'm going to throw out," he said as he pulled the cotton free. "You really shouldn't have run off like that, Faith. You had just been attacked and were most likely still too weak…"

Faith blinked at his reproachful tone and the sincere concern reflecting in his eyes. It was not something she was accustomed to, when things concerned her, and it took her a moment to compose herself.

"Yeah, about that," Faith began, flicking her gaze towards Buffy. "Sorry, Giles. Things were just a bit crazy, you know."

"I can understand the pressures you have been under lately, and I must admit our… reception of your return was not entirely welcoming." Giles was fidgeting with a pile of books on the coffee table, a sign that he felt something akin to apologetic embarrassment. "But you must take into consideration how unexpected your arrival was and that the… relationship between yourself and us was always going to be strained in the least."

Faith knew she deserved the little warmth the Scoobies had received her with; she hoped that the new situation between herself and Buffy would not diminish the little warmth they still had for her.

"We have something to tell you," Buffy said, surprising herself with her own audacity. She had planned on allowing Giles to settle down, maybe drink a little tea, before revealing their new… development. Giles' body stiffened, and Buffy hastened to ease his worry. "It's not anything bad," she assured him, and he visibly relaxed. "Actually, it's good news." She glanced at Faith and smiled, who returned the favour. Giles watched them, a pensive expression on his face.

Buffy opened her mouth, and then hesitated.

Giles was her father figure, and announcing to him that she was in fact gay did not rate highly in her comfort zone. The ick factor of basically telling him that she was with Faith made her want to shudder- not from the thought of being with Faith, but of the thought that Giles would certainly realize the things they'd do together. She wasn't against telling her mom and dad about the boys she dated back at Hemery, but since coming to Sunnydale her love life had been forced off limits to her mother. Giles had to know about her and Faith, because she wanted to prove to Faith that she wasn't ashamed of her. So Buffy told him.

He didn't react for a moment, and then nodded. "I always thought there would be a stronger connection between you two. The unusual circumstances behind your calling, Faith, assures that, but with the abnormal strength Buffy displayed when Faith arrived all points to an inevitable bond between you. It seems you work better as a team, in slaying, I mean, and when you fight you're both synchronised. It all adds up to a deeper magnetism, a more intense attraction…"

"Giles-"

"… and a part of Buffy did transfer to you when she died the first time…"

"Giles!"

"…and after the portal took the last part of the Slayer within her, it may have followed the rest of it and found you, Faith…"

"GILES!"

Giles ceased his audible inner monologue and glanced up. "What?"

"You're blabbering," Buffy said.

"Oh, well," he said. "I…ah. Yes. That's great."

Buffy smiled and hugged him, leaving Faith sitting nervously on the couch. It took her a moment to understand why she was nervous, but when it hit her she almost laughed. She wanted Giles' approval. She wanted Giles, Buffy's only family other than Dawn, to accept and approve of their relationship. And it suddenly occurred to her how much she _had_ changed; how much Buffy had changed her. Any other guy- or girl- that she'd been remotely attracted to had either used her or she'd never given them the chance. Use 'em and lose 'em, that had been her motto. There was no awkward dating phase, no anxious waiting to sleep together, and no realization of love. She'd never done that before, but Buffy had somehow managed to turn it around. They were together. They were dating. They were a couple. They were in love. Faith smiled slightly, exhaling as the butterflies in her stomach resumed their dance.

"Have you given any thought to what you'll do now, Faith?" Giles asked, busying himself with making a pot of tea. A spoon slipped from his fingers and clattered into the sink. He reached for it again, a tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. Buffy smiled at his attempt at normalcy.

Faith was caught off guard by the question and shook her head. "Uh…no, not exactly. I was thinking of finding a job somewhere. You know, maybe the mall will have some openings."

"Well, I've got a proposition for the both of you," he said, clearing his throat. "I've decided to initiate self-defence classes for the public. Anya and I have agreed to use the back room of the Magic Box since it's already perfectly set up, and I was wondering if you would like to be the instructors?"

There was a moment of silence, and Buffy and Faith exchanged a glance. They turned back to Giles, both smiling and nodding. "We'll do it."

"You will receive an income, of course. Most likely a high percentage of what we earn…"

"Giles," Faith interrupted. "Money or no, I'll do it."

"Me too," Buffy added.

Giles glanced from one to the other, and then nodded. "Ah. That's ah, great, then."

Buffy slipped her arm around Faith's waist and the brunette pulled her in for a kiss. Giles coughed suddenly and turned away.

"I'll, ah, just get some, ah, tea…"

"Oh, Giles…" Buffy called out.

"Yes?"

"There's something else you might want to know."

Giles' expression was priceless. "Oh?"

Buffy walked over to the old chair and brought her fist down. The piece of furniture splinted into pieces, the chair utterly destroyed.

"Guess who's a Slayer again?"

The tea pot shattered loudly on the tiles.

* * *

Buffy watched her girlfriend dance, seductively swaying her hips and grinning at the drooling boys surrounding her. Faith laughed, throwing her head back and shimmying closer to them. Their eyes bulged almost as much as the crotch of their pants, and Buffy laughed at the display Faith was making. Her sleek body danced gracefully, slyly moving forward like a cat stalking its prey. The throng seemed to create a path for her to move through, as if they understood this powerful girl was a force they could not touch. She looked deadly, and Buffy thought she looked amazing. And for some strange reason, Buffy felt no jealousy. Only amusement that the men staring at her wouldn't be going home with Faith tonight. But she would.

It had been a tough few days. It had been difficult to explain her relationship with Faith to Willow and Xander, and only after she had screamed her love for the brunette at the top of her lungs had they realized how serious she was. Their relationship with Faith was awkward at best, and the wounds of her betrayal were still there and painful, if no longer raw. Buffy had looked at Willow and asked her what she felt the first time she and Tara kissed.

"Like coming home," Willow had said. "Like suddenly, the world made sense."

When she had asked Xander what he felt when he proposed to Anya, he smiled reflectively. "Complete. Content. Happy."

"And how would you feel if that person was taken away?" Buffy had asked, to which they had both been horrified. "Well, that's what it felt like for me after the portal. Like I'd been scraped clean, like one half had been taken away. I was empty, useless…lost. But when Faith's around, I feel okay again. I can survive and live because she's here beside me."

They had accepted it, albeit after some amount of persuasion on Buffy's part, and had agreed to a Scooby meeting at the Bronze. Buffy's shift in the bar was over, and she was sitting back, watching her girlfriend tease a large percent of Sunnydale's male population. The others arrived soon after, and the eight of them chatted and laughed over a few drinks. Anya was boring Dawn with the finer points of seating arrangements at weddings, Willow and Tara were excitedly recounting to Xander a new spell they'd discovered, Giles tapped his fingers annoyingly against the table, and Buffy and Faith headed back to the dance floor.

They moved as one, their dancing graceful and sleek. They grasped each others' hips, drawing each other closer and sharing a chaste kiss. Their display brought many surprised glances and whispers, but they did not care. Xander turned around just in time to catch their kiss and groaned.

"Why is it that I know the most beautiful girls in this town, and two-thirds of them are gay?"

"Being friends with you could turn any girl gay," Spike said, sauntering around the table and resting against the wall.

"Did you notice they all switched teams when you came to town, Spike?" Xander retorted.

Spike lit a cigarette. "Do you really want me to kill you, Harris?"

"Do you really want to see the inside of a dust buster?"

"Do both of you want to know what it feels like to be sheep?" Willow asked sweetly. Spike took a long drag from his cigarette and Xander gulped deep from his beer.

Buffy and Faith were oblivious to the banter amongst their friends. They were oblivious to everything but each other, and it wasn't until they both sensed it that the world came crashing back. Faith shot Buffy a seductive grin.

"You up for it?"

"Always," Buffy replied, placing a lingering kiss on Faith's lips before laughing and strolling toward the rear entrance of the club.

Once outside, Buffy stepped back and allowed Faith to pull the female vampire away from the frightened boy.

"This one's mine!" the blonde vamp snarled.

"Not any more," Faith said, smirking. "But you can have me."

The vampire's expression changed from anger to surprise to appreciation. "Fair trade."

She grabbed Faith's head and pulled it to the side, revealing her neck. Her fangs flashed and she froze in shock when they were only inches from Faith's jugular, as a stake suddenly protruded from her chest.

"Sorry," Buffy said from behind her. "I don't share."

The vampire exploded into dust. Buffy laughed in delight and pulled Faith to her. The brunette grabbed her around the waist and ardently kissed her. Pulling back for air, the two Slayers gazed at each other.

"Wanna slay?" Faith asked, flashing a predatory grin.

"I always wanna slay," Buffy replied, returning her smile.

The Chosen Two laughed, and all over Sunnydale vampires shivered in fear. The other side of the world suddenly seemed like a good place to be.

* * *

**To Be Concluded…**


	22. Epilogue

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

It's been fifty-two years to the day since we became a couple, and five years since you died. I still forget that you're gone, sometimes. A week ago I saw this school kid who looked exactly like Xander in the first year I met him, and I turned to point him out to you only to remember that you weren't beside me anymore. Those are the worst moments; when I believe you're still alive, only to lose you all over again when reality comes crashing back. I sometimes wonder whether my heart can take any more grief. I seem to feel a constant ache in my chest these days. The doctor says it's just old age, but I'm not so sure. Growing old has never slowed me down before. 

I left the house this morning, as I have every day for the past four years, as the sun peered over the mountain. This time, however, my sore, stiff hip required me to employ the help of a walking-stick. I made my ways down the stone steps; walking-stick first, left foot next, and then my right. Shuffling down the pebbled pathway, I inhaled the fresh, tangy salt air and was glad of the sun's warm rays as they pushed away the crisp iciness of the morning. The garden comes next, and it seems a lot more difficult to pass through than I recall. The earth feels more uneven, the small hills steeper, the trees more compacted, and the approaching grove further away.

I am getting old. Maybe my doctor is right. The sun disappears as I enter the wood, but the forecast is a warm, humid day, and its accuracy is already evident. I find the path we made without even looking. I know that I could find it at night, or with my eyes closed. Memories flood back to me as I walk along the beaten path. I glance at the tree root you tripped over that time, and see the remains of the makeshift tree-house we used one night to evade an ambush. I can almost hear you laughing, almost feel your hand hovering just inches from mine.

It takes me thirty minutes to reach the spot we buried you. It's only twenty feet from the beach, a circle of ancient logs that we believed were trees felled by lighting. The strange burn marks on the fallen trunks are almost arrows to your grave. Hidden inside a triangle made by three logs, all touching one another, a slight mound of dirt can be seen. At the top of the mound, etched into the side of the log in perfect symmetry, reads: FAITH, NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN. Beneath that, in smaller, rougher script, is: F4B.

I remember when you wrote the smaller message the first time we found this spot. It was barely a month after defeating the First. We came out here to escape the bustle of cleaning the cottage. Do you remember how horrified Giles seemed about the state of our home? His expression was priceless. I miss him. I always thought I would be lost without Giles' guidance and support; you were there, though, so I could always find my way.

I trace the etching with my finger tips, and lay the flowers I picked along the path onto your grave. I sit down in the dirt and rest my back against the log. I stay like this for a long time, thinking of you, and when I finally stir the sun has reached its pinnacle in the sky. Sunlight streams into your final resting place. I know that I haven't got much time left, and I think about seeing you again more often these days. So many times I've thought of ending it just to be with you, but I cannot. There's still too much to live for.

Dawn's first grandchild just started high-school this week. Little Jessie- who's not so little anymore- looked adorable in her oversized blazer and stiff uniform. Dawn's son just got promoted, which means he gets to travel and visit us more often. And Dawn's still being my annoying little sister, but I'm happy that she still lives with me. We actually fought over a horrid peach lipstick before realizing we both hated it anyway. David wants her to move closer to their daughter soon, but I think she's holding out until I go, and I'm grateful.

Xander's family continues to grow unbelievably fast; his second daughter just had her third child. Xander's wife tells me he's the same with all their grandchildren. He hugs and whispers to the newborn for hours, and his daughter had to kick him out of the baby's room so she could sleep. Willow hasn't been the same since her girlfriend Laura died last year. She seeks comfort in her magic, and Xander and I don't have the heart to remind her of the dangers of mixing grief and magic. She and Xander still visit me monthly; those times when it's just the three of us can make me almost believe we're still in high school. If I close my eyes and listen to the jokes, bantering and gossip I can almost feel young, naïve and invincible again.

I don't want to be alone anymore.

I know Dawn and David will soon begin to look out for me from the cottage, so I rise awkwardly to my feet. My hip is in agony from sitting in the same position for so long, but I wince once and ignore it. I'm still a Slayer, albeit a retired one, and pain will always be a factor in my life, just as death and grief and darkness have always been. But you showed me how to see the better side of the world. You showed me how to enjoy life, how to flow with it, how to face it with brazen courage and live it. That is why I cannot join you yet.

I'm still living.

As I walk away from you once again, I glance over my shoulder and smile.

F4B

… Never to be forgotten.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

So that's it… The end of "Creed" has finally come and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic already. I just wanted to thank Rylee for her amazing beta work on this project; if it wasn't for her this story would have been receiving flames instead of the wonderful reviews you guys sent me. I also want to give a shout out to Vana for stepping in and beta-ing during Rylee's absence. Her hard work gave me the chance to post my chapters quickly instead of waiting months. 

And finally, I'd like to thank every one of my wonderful readers who reviewed loyally each update. You rock! And just 'cuz I can, a little plugging for my other work… Keep an eye out for three new stories that are in progress at the moment. One's a Buffy/Harry Potter crossover, there's a Lord of the Rings fic and finally a Pirates of the Caribbean story.

That's it from me… Toodles!


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